TSLSILMH Ch 23

Chapter 23

 

At this moment, Xie Shu could not help but gaze directly at his lord.

The space inside the carriage was a little dim, yet at such close distance, he could see the soft, downy halo gliding over that ice-white skin.

His expression carried a faint panic; under Xie Shu’s steady gaze, those long, thick lashes trembled incessantly, as though a whole river of spring water had been stirred.

In that instant, Xie Shu also caught the subtle fragrance emanating from his lord’s body—dazed, he seemed to see peach blossoms burst into bloom before his eyes, leaving behind the faintest lingering sweetness.

When that hint of sweetness spread through his heart, he hastily recovered himself, drawing back his gaze and widening the space between them.

Only then did he realize he had nearly forgotten something again—his lord was a shuang’er, not an ordinary man; approaching him so closely felt perilously like impropriety.

He was about to apologize for this overstep when he remembered his promise to his lord—to never treat him with a separate, “different” attitude.

But where should that line be drawn?

For the first time, he discovered there were things in this world so very difficult.

Yu Chuxi’s heartbeat, too, gradually returned to normal. When Xie Shu suddenly averted his eyes, he had expected it—and yet a nameless flash of irritation rose in his chest.

This man—he is the first to set my heart alight, and the first to draw away!

Thinking this, his teeth ached with vexation. Suddenly, his lips curved, and he asked, “Do you know what book I’m reading?”

Hearing the question, Xie Shu turned back.

Yu Chuxi was smiling at him, the earlier fluster entirely gone; the corners of his lips were lightly upturned, his gaze bright, and within it a glint of secret mischief.

Something stirred within Xie Shu. He recalled that his lord had held the book all this time, yet had not turned a single page.

He could not help smiling in return. “My lord is reading the Strategies of the Warring States, isn’t that so?”

To his surprise, Xie Shu answered correctly. Yu Chuxi held his tongue, though he found it odd—books placed in the carriage were typically chosen by maids to suit his tastes, and a text like the Strategies of the Warring States would hardly be among his favorites.

Just then, Xie Shu reached out and gently lifted the scroll in Yu Chuxi’s hand a little higher. He smiled again. “Hm. Then I guessed wrong.”

All along the road, Wei Qingtong had been lost in thought, scarcely aware how he had walked home.

Only upon stepping into the familiar Taoni Lane did a nameless bitterness rise within him at the sight of the cramped passageway.

Had he not been standing at the Yu gates earlier, he would not now ache so sharply from the yawning gulf between their worlds.

Passing by the square courtyard now overrun with weeds, he felt a wave of aching nostalgia for those bygone days.

Back then, Xie Shu had belonged to him alone—not as he was now.

If only… he should never have urged Xie Shu to go…

Yet the thought flickered and died. Without the Yu family, Xie Shu could never have dragged him from the mire, and his father would never have agreed to betroth him to the Xie of that time.

Even so, his resentment deepened. As he looked upon the ruin of his home, images of bare walls and empty cupboards flashed through his mind. Over the years, everything that had gone in had never stayed…

His parents had grown ever more greedy, never satisfied. And now, even the one person who could have pulled him from the mire would not spare him a glance. Why should he have to endure any of this?

Just as he stepped through the doorway, something felt wrong. The usually cold and quiet courtyard contained several voices.

He could even make out his father’s oily flattery: “My lord, please wait a moment—our Qingtong will be back at once…”

A wave of terror surged through him. Could it be his father truly meant to sell him?

He staggered backward and knocked over an object. The people in the courtyard heard the noise.

Seeing him, the old man roared, “Wei Qingtong! Come and greet the lord—where have you been?”

Only then did Wei Qingtong see the rotund middle-aged man beside his father, dressed in finery and beaming with wealth.

He recognized him at once—the Yu family’s Second Master, Yu Wanchun. Given the man’s love for collecting good repute, few in Jinling would not know him.

But why had Yu Wanchun sought them out? Could he have learned of his history with Xie Shu? If so, then would his father…

There was no one he could rely on now!

Without a second thought, Wei Qingtong turned and ran.

The old man, both furious and alarmed, shouted after him—running like that only made him seem guilty.

Yu Wanchun merely watched him go with an easy smile, not in the least perturbed.

He had not been entirely sure whether Xie Shu and Wei Qingtong had once been entangled. So he had chosen to plant the idea first—let Wei Qingtong incriminate himself.

He had even intended to coax more from the old man, but the fellow had been sly—stubbornly silent despite the lure of silver. No matter; Yu Wanchun was certain enough now.

At this season, many from Jinling took outings—Jiangnan’s spring was especially mild. By late spring, the weather was neither cold nor hot, but perfectly suited for travel.

Outside the city lay Butterfly Slope, the favorite destination for excursions. Wildflowers blanketed the hills; at the turn from spring to summer, butterflies danced in multicolored swarms, drawing old and young alike to linger.

Once the Yu carriages halted, Feng He chose a lush bank near the river and had the maids spread half-silk mats and lay out the food they had brought.

While they worked, Yu Chuxi strolled nearby. He had never visited this place before, and the scenery all around surprised him.

To Xie Shu’s eyes, though, the true marvel was this lord.

The usually pampered gentleman drifted through the flowers without the least concern, clad in simple white. Among the riot of blossoms, the quieter his attire, the more strikingly radiant he appeared.

Xie Shu walked to his side, and soon they were moving forward shoulder to shoulder.

Yu Chuxi cast him a sidelong glance. “Aren’t you going to read? Why are you trailing after me?”

Hearing the tone—still lightly counting his earlier teasing—Xie Shu only smiled without answering.

Yu turned away. “What made you think of going out with me today?”

He could not help but ask, perhaps because the scene was too lovely and the smile beside him too gentle. That gentleness felt tangible—something one could reach out and touch.

It raised a hope within him. Perhaps—perhaps he would tell him the truth.

Xie Shu looked at his lord’s profile. They stood by the river; the rippling light reflected in those eyes, luminous as water, and even his lips seemed to glow.

How could he bear to lie to him?

And yet, how to explain that he had come from another world—an idea so outlandish that even the devout would balk, all the more so in this age? How could he make his lord understand?

Seeing that Xie Shu did not answer at once, Yu Chuxi’s fragile anticipation guttered out. He refused to wait in vain and turned away. “Forget it.”

He did not truly know what answer he had wanted. He knew it was Xie Shu’s past, real and undeniable—why deceive himself?

Still, for reasons he could not name, he had split Xie Shu into two in his heart—the present, so radiant and good, and the past, already creased and yellowed.

Could one person differ so much?

Perhaps not asking was the better answer.

Just as he lifted his foot to go, a soft sigh sounded behind him.

He faltered, unable to take a second step.

Xie Shu cleared his throat, solemn. “My lord, there is something I must tell you.”

Yu Chuxi could not hold himself back any longer and turned to face him.

With his gaze gently resting upon his lord’s face, Xie Shu spoke softly. “My lord, I don’t know if you’ll believe me. After I woke from falling into the water, the people and matters of my past… I could no longer recall them clearly…”

He could not predict how his lord would take this. It was the only reason he could give.

He had concealed it from Ximo before because he needed time to adapt to this world; without understanding things, he could not afford to reveal a misstep. Besides, Ximo had known the original man for years and would see through inconsistencies.

But his lord was different.

He could have kept silent; a moment ago, his lord had already meant to let it pass.

But Xie Shu did not want that. A problem was a problem because it truly existed. If one recognized it yet refused to address it, letting it drag on—that was not his way.

Time might wear everything smooth, but the splinters it left behind could not be covered with a single sentence. He could never understand how some preferred a tangle of twists and turns, only to proclaim a happy ending once all was said and done.

If one truly cared—if one truly wished to spare another—one should not do so.

Still less did he wish his lord to suffer needless worry over what the original man had done.

Even so, the explanation felt absurd to his own ears. By the end, his voice was wavering.

Yu Chuxi never looked away. His fine, dazzling features were veiled in a delicate gleam, as if they could dim the whole world. The corner of his mouth curved in a smile. “I believe you.”

Why should he not?

Although he sensed that the reason Xie Shu had given was only part of the truth, it was enough. Since those were the words he had chosen, Yu Chuxi was willing to accept them.

The doubts and worries that had hemmed him in these days felt a little eased. This person was not the same as before.

He thought back to their first meeting; all of Xie Shu’s strange behavior gained its explanation.

A spark of curiosity flickered. His lashes trembled as he asked, as if casually, “Then what were you thinking that first time you came to see me…”

Xie Shu laughed softly and corrected him: “My lord, that was the second time.”

Author’s note:

Thanks to the little angels Li Si Xiao Qu for throwing two grenades, Yu Si for one grenade, Sou Sou for one grenade, Li Si Xiao Qu for two grenades, and Sugar-Heart Apple for one grenade.

A bow of gratitude to everyone! Love you all.