Escape from an Ancient Civilization Ch 142

Chapter 142

The stars held their breath and swallowed their light, and the moon clasped its hands and hid behind the clouds. Standing close enough to hear each other’s breathing, even the sound of Medeus swallowing was clear. He bit his lower lip, hesitated, then nodded.

“…I’ll hear it. I want to hear it now.”

Nataek stepped closer.

“Which do you want: the honest version or the one that won’t hurt?”

Medeus hesitated, then gave a faint smile.

“Can’t it be both?”

“I’ve considered that… It doesn’t seem possible.”

A long silence fell. Medeus drew a small breath, then exhaled slowly as if steadying himself, deciding.

“Then the honest one. I want your true heart.”

He sounded composed—at least his face did. But his restless fingers and his lips, constantly worrying themselves, betrayed him. He was only suppressing the anxiety. Nataek felt guilty for being the cause of it, and lowered his gaze.

“I’ve thought about it a great deal. And… no matter how I turn it over…”

He had known for some time—he had only tried to suppress his heart because of his circumstances. He could have let it be: stow his feelings, pretend ignorance of Medeus’s, let what remained of their growing affection drift down some winding river and thin out.

“‘For the last time… I’ll ask. I won’t bring this up again. So just once—answer me honestly.’”

He couldn’t turn away someone who begged so earnestly for one answer—especially when that someone was the one he held in his heart.

“I think… I do have feelings.”

“‘Am I truly only a master to you?’”

“You’re not just a master to me. I don’t know when it began, but at some point, it did.”

Perhaps it was from the moment he decided to keep his distance—no, earlier than that. Thinking back, Nataek had been aware of Medeus for quite a while.

Medeus’s fist clenched. Nataek wanted to see his face more than anything, but couldn’t bring himself to look up; he kept speaking, eyes lowered.

“But feelings aside… I don’t think I can become your lover or move into a deeper relationship than we have.”

“Why?”

Medeus stepped closer.

“You say you have feelings. Do you mean your feelings are different from mine?”

“…They’re probably similar.”

At that, large hands seized Nataek’s forearms. Nataek lifted his head.

“Then why? Why can’t we be something deeper?”

His voice trembled. The droop of his eyes was fraught with urgency, and his gaze shook without mercy.

“Medeus. Do you truly want this answer?”

Nataek asked, his expression earnest. He could have told a white lie. But a promise was a promise—he had sworn to speak plainly. Whether kind or unkind, a lie was not allowed.

Medeus tightened his grip.

“I… I have to hear it. I want to. Tell me exactly as it is.”

Nataek closed his eyes hard and answered.

“I can’t… promise to take responsibility.”

The tightening hands slackened.

“I feel I’ll surely hurt you someday. No—likely, it’s unavoidable.”

I can’t imagine living in this ancient world forever. If so, the end is fixed. In the end, I’ll leave you and go back… and you’ll be abandoned yet again—first by your family and Uruk, and then by me.

“So… can we just stay as we are?”

That wasn’t his only fear. If they bound themselves as lovers, he might not be able to leave. He might even… consider not leaving.

Even if he hardened his heart, an ending like that would leave a lifelong weight of guilt. So isn’t this—now—the best path?

Medeus’s hands tightened again.

“I won’t force you to take responsibility.”

“In that case, what’s different from now?”

“…What if I say I don’t care? That I want us to be closer than we are now—only to each other. Would you then pull away from me?”

“No. I’d still stay by your side.”

His heart soared and crashed in the same breath. Medeus lowered his ruined gaze.

“Why… why can’t you take responsibility for me? Is it because I’m a barbarian? Because I’m a man? Because I’m not some small, delicate woman you favor?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then why… why not…”

In the end, everything returned to one truth: they were people of different worlds. Nataek caught his slipping arm.

“It isn’t about you. If those things bothered me, I never would have developed feelings in the first place. Medeus.”

He didn’t lift his head. Nataek reached out and cupped his cheek.

“Medeus. It’s not your fault—it’s mine. You’re not—”

His fingertips felt the dampness at Medeus’s eyes. Startled, Nataek peered closer.

“Medeus? H—hey… why are you crying—ah, come on. Lift your head. Please?”

Why does a grown man cry this easily!

He lifted Medeus’s chin by force. Tears beaded at the softened corners of his eyes.

Damn it… I’m the dog here. A damned mutt. To make him cry because I couldn’t comfort him properly.

He had been honest—yet in doing so, he had dealt a wound. His mind emptied of all talk of honesty—only the thought that he was a wretch for making Medeus cry clanged around his head.

“It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I… should’ve softened the words.”

“Teresi.”

“Yes.”

“I think… I like you.”

“…”

The directness of it shook Nataek to his core.

“You don’t have to take responsibility. It’s alright if you don’t. So… if you have feelings for me too… accept me.”

For the first time, his steadfast rule about love wavered. Even knowing he couldn’t promise, even knowing it might end in parting, Medeus’s plea shook him mercilessly.

“Teresi…”

At a brief blink, tears spilled and rolled down. He looked at once like a gentle dog begging and a stunning beauty seducing—at least that’s how Nataek saw him.

“…Haa.”

It’s over. Completely ruined.

He yanked Medeus’s face against his chest and held him tight.

“Alright. I understand—so please, don’t cry.”

Holding him, Nataek was engulfed in a heavy guilt.

So be it… As long as I remain here, the only thing to do is my best.

In the end, he had both drawn the line and broken it. As he patted Medeus, a conversation returned to him.

“‘Did your mother not long for her home?’

‘She did. But she said she couldn’t return.’

‘Why? Why not?’

‘She said what mattered was here—she couldn’t leave it behind.’”

Nataek squeezed his eyes.

No. That can’t happen. Don’t forget the ultimate goal of all this struggle.

A fear sprouted—what if his greatest aim wavered, and in the end he made the same choice as Medeus’s mother?

What would become of their relationship now?

News from Kish came exactly six nights later.

Through the Soothsayer, Nataek relayed progress to Kish. By the same courier, the Soothsayer sent luxurious Delam treasures. Nataek untied the bundle and inspected the contents.

“Hmm… These look rather fine, don’t they?”

“Mm. Seems they sent only the premium stock.”

At that, Medeus, standing behind him, wrapped an arm around Nataek’s waist and brushed a kiss to his cheek with an audible peck. Nataek could only smile awkwardly.

Since the night they bared their hearts, Medeus had grown bold in his affection. Nataek didn’t dislike touch; he had simply never been this close with a man before, and it still felt awkward and clumsy. He didn’t let it show.

“With this much, Lagab should be pleased.”

“Most likely.”

Nataek carefully retied the bundle. So far his collected keywords were three: Lagab, Sibiera, and Shuran. He had gathered enough on the last two. So, for a week leading to this day, he combed Ur for information on Lagab. It was fruitless.

“They say the Guti enjoy human flesh!”

“He’s mad for jewels, they say.”

Rumors or facts Nataek already knew—that was all. In the end, the week only bought time for planning. Still, remembering how close they came to facing Lagab unprepared seven days ago, he was grateful.

Knock, knock—

Someone rapped at their door.

“A servant from the mansion has come.”

At the proprietress’s voice, Nataek and Medeus donned their cloaks and gathered their packs.

Ur’s final boss—at last, it was time to meet Lagab.