IH Ch 10

Chapter 10

He truly knew he shouldn’t be touching him carelessly, but the expression on his face looked far too unwell. At the very least, he needed to make sure he was breathing. Yet there was no sensation under his fingers as he placed them beneath his nose.

“……”

Uncertain what to do, he looked at Hwang Jae-i, then slowly stood up. As his hand left, Hwang Jae-i’s expression wavered again. Seeing that, he awkwardly rose to his feet and wrapped his arms around Hwang Jae-i’s head, guiding his face to rest against his own chest—the very place he’d clung to so desperately the night before, and even moments earlier.

Whether it worked or not, strength gradually left Hwang Jae-i’s shoulders, and his limp hands began to stir. One hand grabbed his waist, the other his thigh, and then both arms reached around his back to hold him close. Hesitating at the careful way he was being embraced, he gently touched his cheek to the top of Hwang Jae-i’s head. As expected, it was soft. The sensation of that hair brushing against his arm as they hugged was so pleasant that he slid his fingers into his scalp. Just before they made contact, Hwang Jae-i suddenly lifted his head.

“……!”

Startled by the sharp glare fixed on him, he quickly pulled his hand back.

He flinched and raised both hands behind him as he opened his mouth with an awkward, “Uh—”

“I wasn’t trying to do anything weird, I just…”

He figured saying the texture of Hwang Jae-i’s hair felt so nice he wanted to touch it more might sound strange. So instead, he gathered up his own fallen hair and used it like a mask to cover his nose and lips. Still, Hwang Jae-i’s cold gaze remained unchanged.

He kept his head raised, knowing if he lowered it, their faces would get even closer. If Hwang Jae-i released him, he’d retreat to a corner and hide. If he stayed quiet as a mouse, maybe he wouldn’t say anything more. He hoped for that as he kept staring up at the ceiling—when suddenly, a strong urge to go to the bathroom hit him.

“……”

That wasn’t the only problem. His throat was dry and his stomach quite empty, but the need for the bathroom was most urgent. If—by any chance—something like the previous day happened again…

The memory of losing control right in front of Hwang Jae-i made his whole face burn. Pressing his hair more firmly against his face, he tightly shut his eyes—just as the hand on his back slipped away.

At that moment, the man who had been kneeling with one leg stood up. Caught off guard by the face that suddenly loomed over him, he was about to lower his head when a harsh voice rang out.

“If you go around talking about what happened earlier, you’ll be dead.”

“……”

Knowing Hwang Jae-i, he really might kill him, so he hurriedly nodded.

“Answer me.”

“Okay.”

He responded immediately, but Hwang Jae-i’s hardened expression didn’t soften at all.

Feeling awkward under that gaze, he dropped his head, only to hear a stream of curses. Then Hwang Jae-i roughly tousled his own hair and let out a long sigh. As he turned to leave, he mustered his courage and softly called out, “Um…”

It was a tiny voice, yet somehow Hwang Jae-i heard it and stopped at the door.

“Can I use the bathroom?”

Just saying it out loud made the urgency more intense. He pressed his feet tightly together and braced himself, his eyes pleadingly fixed on Hwang Jae-i’s broad shoulders.

“……”

Sitting in the middle of the couch with his arms crossed, Hwang Jae-i looked calm on the outside, but his mind was a tangled mess.

Occasionally—no, rarely—he would dream that damn dream, and it always left him out of sorts. That’s why he bought an entire building to live in, just in case he lost control in his sleep—so no one would find out. Yet last night, miraculously, he hadn’t even stepped outside the front door. But it wasn’t something to feel relieved about, because when he woke up, he was holding that bastard.

Hwang Jae-i squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his hair. Then he heard a sound. Turning his eyes to the side, he saw that guy carefully tiptoeing before stopping. When their eyes met, his thin, pale legs bolted in panic.

Only after hearing the quiet click of the closing door did Hwang Jae-i realize he’d been yanking at his own hair. How pathetic. Clicking his tongue, he let go and flopped down on the couch.

“……”

No matter how many times he replayed it, he couldn’t understand his own behavior.

Clenching his teeth so hard they might break, Hwang Jae-i raised his head. He had to kick him out. Thinking back, bringing someone so strange into this place had been a mistake from the beginning. That first meeting had been weird too. In a prison-like cell beneath a secret passage, wearing an iron mask? Suspicious, to say the least. He was probably isolated from the rest of that cult because he was deemed dangerous. Determined, Hwang Jae-i jumped up.

But after only a few steps, he stopped.

Don’t get worked up—stay calm. If he dragged that guy to the guild in this state, everyone would wonder what the hell was going on. Especially that nosy Ahn Yuna, who’d pester him with, “What? What’s wrong? What’s the problem?”

“……Shit.”

Hwang Jae-i messed up his hair again, then trudged to the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, he turned and stopped when he saw the takeout containers on the table.

Oh right, Johan brought those yesterday. Well, it’s just been a day, and it’s cooler in here than outside, so they probably hadn’t spoiled yet. Taking a sip of water, he walked over to the table and picked up the topmost container, muttering under his breath.

“Seriously. I didn’t even ask him to bring this.”

If he left them, they’d go bad. He grumbled about unnecessary trouble as he reached to gather them all—but suddenly stopped. He remembered someone who had, more than once, made a loud, hungry growl in front of him.

That guy was unnaturally skinny. The image of himself pressing his face into that flat chest and clutching a waist no bigger than a handful flashed through Hwang Jae-i’s mind, and he shook his head violently. As if that would erase the face and body already burned into his brain.

He practically tossed the lunchbox onto the table. Then, thump thump thump, he deliberately stomped his feet, swinging open the door to the storage room at the very back.

“Hey!!”

Like a debt collector shouting for money, he yelled, then quickly scanned the room. But the guy wasn’t immediately visible.

What the hell—where did he go now? Rushing into the room, Jae-i found him right away. The place was tiny, with nowhere to really hide.

He was crouched next to the boxes set aside for recycling. Startled by Jae-i’s sudden appearance, his eyes widened as he looked up. Raising an eyebrow, Hwang Jae-i watched as the guy flinched and slowly lowered his head, gathering his long hair like yarn to once again cover his face.

With his toe, Hwang Jae-i nudged the boy’s feet. The guy flinched again, then glanced up before inching even closer to the wall, curling his knees up tightly to his chest.

“……”

It looked too much like he was bullying the kid.

Or maybe… he actually was?

The memory of shoving the guy away when he woke up that morning came to mind. Of him collapsing limply against the wall. That memory dampened his mood. No matter how you looked at it, he was an S-rank. He shouldn’t have used that kind of force on an unawakened person. He knew he should probably apologize, but since he’d never done that before, he had no idea how to start.

Just then, a loud gurgle broke the silence. The guy, still sneaking glances upward, pressed a hand to his stomach.

“……”

Had he been hungry since yesterday?

Tightly closing his mouth, Hwang Jae-i turned and opened the door. Without looking back, he said shortly:

“Follow me.”

He didn’t close the door and stepped out first. Just before entering the kitchen, he looked over his shoulder. The guy was standing awkwardly in the doorway.

His legs, stretched out from beneath that oversized shirt, were shockingly thin. Like chopsticks.

Tsk. Clicking his tongue, Hwang Jae-i called again.

“Come on—”

As the guy hunched his shoulders and trotted over, Hwang Jae-i stepped into the kitchen and checked the lunchboxes on the table. Three packs of meat. Fried rice. Salad. From a restaurant he occasionally ordered from. They could be eaten as is, but they’d be better warmed up. A bit of a hassle, but it couldn’t be helped.

Grumbling, Hwang Jae-i picked out a fried rice and a meat dish, then popped them in the microwave. While the food heated, he gathered some utensils and water, setting them out casually. The guy had come up to the kitchen entrance but still didn’t step inside, just stood there quietly.

Why’s he moving so sluggishly? Jae-i was about to snap at him again when he noticed the guy’s gaze was fixed on the food on the table. Unwavering, intensely focused—especially on the pack full of meat. Something about it softened him unexpectedly. Turning his head, he checked the microwave. Still a bit more time.

Jae-i stood with arms crossed in front of the microwave. The second it beeped, he pulled out the lunchboxes, removed the lids, and placed them side by side. Then, still watching the guy just standing there, he said briefly:

“Eat.”

“……”

The eyes that had been staring only at the food wavered sharply, then shifted to look at Hwang Jae-i. He jerked his chin toward the warmed meal. But the guy still seemed confused, standing there blankly for a moment before hesitantly starting to move. His slow pace was frustrating. Normally, Jae-i would’ve said something—but this time, he didn’t. He just watched the guy inch forward like he was crawling.