IH Ch 13

Chapter 13

He was in there. Originally, Hwang Jae-i had only intended to feed him porridge and send him back to the Association. But the clumsy fool had spilled porridge on his clothes while eating the second serving, then scraped at the pot as if trying to gouge a hole into it, all without even realizing. So for a moment, Hwang Jae-i considered giving him more, but then wondered if the boy was overeating for his frame. He’d given him porridge because he’d thrown up—too much of even that could upset the stomach. Not wanting to clean up after another mess, he’d told him to just go wash up.

At that, the boy looked up at him with a face full of disappointment, still holding the empty pot and spoon, and Hwang Jae-i instantly scowled. The boy flinched and dashed into the bathroom like he was running away. A moment later, the sound of running water came, and Hwang Jae-i began searching again for something for the boy to wear. But the whole thing started to feel like too much trouble.

In the end, he just threw whatever was within reach in front of the bathroom. As a result, the boy ended up wearing clothes even larger than before—an ivory shirt and pants so long they could have mopped the floor. The length didn’t fit, the size was too big, and maybe because the material was so soft and fluffy, he looked even more like a child who had stolen an adult’s clothes.

Glancing shyly at Hwang Jae-i, the boy pulled his hair forward to hide his face, then bolted off. His pants nearly fell mid-run, making him stumble, but unlike before, he didn’t just shrug them off like a shed skin. He clumsily held them up and scurried away, and seeing that, Hwang Jae-i didn’t feel inclined to call him back. So he just let him go.

“……”

This time, I’ll actually open the door and drag him out.

Resolving himself, Hwang Jae-i raised his hand, but unlike before, he couldn’t push it open wide. Staring at the closed door with a hardened expression, he eventually stomped away in frustration.

Dohwa carefully placed the note found among the gifts back into the box, then lifted his head. The room, which had been too cluttered to step into earlier, was now somewhat organized, and the sight gave him a small sense of pride despite the effort it took.

While tidying, he felt like he’d seen everything he’d ever see in his life. At the same time, he realized just how amazing Hwang Jae-i must be to receive all this. Based on his behavior, he seemed violent and mean, but he wasn’t a truly bad person—after all, the Association had given him tasty milk. It was so good that he’d been savoring it slowly, but then Hwang Jae-i had swatted it away, and he hadn’t been able to drink more. That had hurt a little. He also remembered how he’d been desperately needing the bathroom, but had been forced to hold it and had made a mess while standing. The memory made his expression darken, and he dropped his gaze.

In front of him was a box filled with letters and postcards, and among them, a heart-shaped note caught his eye.

“……”

Carefully picking it up, he read:

“Hunter Hwang Jae-i, thank you. I love you.”

The writing was crooked, pressed in hard with uneven strokes.

Most of the letters said similar things: thank you, I’m a fan, I love you, please stay healthy, and so on. Countless strangers—faces he’d never seen—loved Hwang Jae-i. With that much affection, why was he the way he was?

Fingering the heart-shaped note with both hands, Dohwa’s lips moved faintly.

“…Dohwa.”

He didn’t know how long it had been since he’d last spoken his own name aloud. It was so precious to him that he hadn’t wanted to share it with anyone else. And yet—

“You don’t have a name, so I’ll call you Blackie.”

That’s not true. I have a name.

Remembering the careless way Hwang Jae-i had said that, he frowned. If he let it go, he’d be stuck being called Blackie or something else strange. If Hwang Jae-i called him that again, he would have to assert confidently that his name was Dohwa. But to do that, he first needed to get used to hearing it himself.

He placed the heart-shaped note back into the box, took a couple deep breaths, and opened his mouth.

“Dohwa.”

It was a soft murmur, similar to before. So quiet, he couldn’t even hear it himself. He bit his lip, then tried saying it louder.

“Do—”

Bang!!

“……!!”

Dohwa’s eyes went wide as he stared at the door. At first, he thought he’d misheard, but the door shook again with another loud bang, as if to confirm he hadn’t imagined it.

He moved the box aside and looked around. Somewhere to hide. A safe place. But of course, there wasn’t one. What should he do? Panicking, he looked around again, then back at the door.

He knew exactly who was outside making that noise. Hwang Jae-i. When he came this way, he often made loud footsteps or kicked the door. Maybe if he waited, Hwang Jae-i would throw the door open and walk in.

He kept staring at the door, but this time, it remained quiet.

“…?”

Dohwa tilted his head, then slowly stood up.

He walked to the door and cautiously opened it, peeking outside—only to find Hwang Jae-i standing there with his head lowered.

His well-kept hair had fallen over his face as if to hide it, gleaming even in the dim light. Dohwa opened the door a bit more. At that moment, Hwang Jae-i slowly raised his head. Between the tousled strands of hair, his eyes appeared, sunken and heavy.

His lips moved. But the murmured words didn’t come through clearly. Wondering what he was trying to say, Dohwa raised his face—and was met with Hwang Jae-i’s crimson eyes staring directly at him.

“……”

After a brief moment of eye contact, Hwang Jae-i suddenly wavered. Surprised, Dohwa’s eyes widened, and he reached out instinctively. But before he could catch him, Hwang Jae-i collapsed onto him, heavy and large like a falling pillar. Stumbling backward in alarm, Dohwa’s knees buckled under Hwang Jae-i’s weight.

He nearly fell backward, but just in time, a large hand supported his back. As a result, Dohwa found himself gently eased down, not too painfully, into Hwang Jae-i’s arms. Startled by being held in his embrace, Dohwa froze.

There was no way he was in his right mind. Just last night, Dohwa had woken up in his arms with no memory of how he got there—it had clearly been Hwang Jae-i. Yet as soon as he woke, he’d shoved Dohwa away coldly. It felt like this would turn out the same. So cautiously, Dohwa tapped his waist.

“Um…”

When he tapped his waist a few more times, Hwang Jae-i’s arms tightened.

“……!”

Now squeezed as if about to be crushed, Dohwa’s face hardened. The pressure was so intense, it felt like he might burst. He couldn’t breathe like this…

Clenching his fists, Dohwa took a deep breath and spoke.

“It hurts.”

A whisper, barely audible. But a few seconds later, Hwang Jae-i flinched and relaxed his arms. Feeling him slowly retreating, Dohwa blinked, wondering if he had really heard him.

Even after pulling back, Hwang Jae-i still kept him loosely in his arms. He lifted his head. Seeing his half-lidded eyes looking at him, Dohwa cautiously asked,

“Um, are you…”

Are you not in your right mind right now? Are you dreaming? Is that why you suddenly got up and are doing this? He was about to ask, but his nose tickled.

No matter how much he cleaned, the room’s air was thick with dust from the many stored items. Even with ventilation, the dust lingered. He’d sneezed multiple times while tidying up—and now again. With Hwang Jae-i so close, he tried to hold it back but failed, letting out a small sneeze.

“Achoo! Hup!”

After several sneezes, Dohwa nervously glanced at Hwang Jae-i. What if he got angry for sneezing in his face? But then…

“Are you cold?”

“……”

Hwang Jae-i was smiling.

He usually looked so sullen, like he was constantly irritated. But now, his half-lidded eyes had softened, his lips curved into a gentle smile. He even closed his eyes completely and chuckled softly, as if in a good mood. Then he suddenly leaned back and took off his shirt.

Startled, Dohwa’s eyes dropped as the shirt slipped off Hwang Jae-i’s head. The bare skin filling his vision made him panic, unsure where to look. Then suddenly, Hwang Jae-i draped the shirt over him.

“……!”

The soft fabric brushed across his face, and a moment later, his head popped out through the top. As he blinked in surprise, Hwang Jae-i, still smiling, cupped Dohwa’s cheeks with both hands. For a second, Dohwa thought he might crush his head—but instead, Hwang Jae-i pressed his forehead to his and asked with a beaming smile so wide it hid his eyes:

“Now you’re not cold, right?”

“……”

“I’ll keep you even warmer, kitty.”

And with that, he pulled Dohwa tightly against him again and flopped back onto the floor. As Dohwa squirmed in his arms, Hwang Jae-i only held him tighter. Taking shallow breaths, chest rising and falling, Dohwa looked up. What he saw was Hwang Jae-i, neck uncomfortably bent because of his broad shoulders, fast asleep.

“……”

He wanted to slip something under his head. But more than that—was it really okay for him to fall asleep like this? Dohwa was about to wake him, but stopped.

Because Hwang Jae-i was sleeping with a smile still on his face. Much better than that usual scowl, so Dohwa relaxed in his arms.

Staring absentmindedly at the high ceiling, he glanced back at Hwang Jae-i. That ever-so-slightly upturned mouth—so pretty—he couldn’t help but gaze at it, mesmerized.