IH Ch 36
by berryChapter 36
Maybe finding this guy there hadnât been a coincidence either. He could very well be a dangerous ember left behind by that now-dead old cult leader in one last act of defiance. Things like that had a way of surviving no matter how hard you stomped them out, always finding a way to crawl back under your skin. Hwang Jae-i had known another person like that.
The memory soured his mood, and he pressed a thumb firmly against his eyelid before letting it fall and glancing again at Dohwa. The boy, fiddling with his spoon, slowly began to chew again.
Earlier, he’d seemed uneasy with Jae-iâs constant staring and had chewed quickly to get it over with, but now he was noticeably slower. It felt too deliberate, like he was trying to buy time, and Jae-i frowned as he spoke.
âIf youâre dragging this out on purposeâŠâ
âI stayed there at first because of my mom, and later, I was just alone.â
The detached tone made Jae-i pause. Dohwa, gripping his spoon tightly, hesitated before opening his mouth again.
âAfter my mom was gone, they said I had to take over what she was doing⊠But I was still young, so I spent most of my time receiving different kinds of training.â
It wasnât a direct answer about whether he was an Awakened, but it was all he was willing to say for now. Still, if Jae-i kept pressing, he might end up having to tell the truth.
Dohwa glanced at him. But Hwang Jae-iâs expression, arms still crossed, was anything but pleasant. Something in what he said mustâve rubbed him the wrong way. Dohwa pressed his lips together, then parted them again to continue.
âThe higher-ups wanted to make me do all sorts of things, but I didnât follow along well. So they used solitary confinement as a form of punishment, and eventually⊠it just became routineâŠâ
âWhat exactly were they trying to make you do in place of your mom?â
Dohwa didnât answer right away. After a long hesitation, he looked into Jae-iâs eyes and murmured in a voice barely audible.
A doll.
Lee Myunghwan had used various methods to expand his influence, and body solicitation was one of the most common. Hard to believe it still worked nowadays, perhaps, but those thoroughly trained under him molded themselves to match their targets’ preferences from head to toe. Not just appearances, but conversation skills, manners, knowledgeâeven sexual technique. Every aspect was tailored to the client.
In a world abruptly changed by the emergence of gates, people suffered from all manner of stress and depression. The dolls that Lee Myunghwan provided were both psychological and physical sedatives for them.
Jae-i had a rough understanding of what that cult bastard had done. Theyâd even engaged in intermarriage and childbirth among themselves to increase their numbersâusing dolls seemed almost tame in comparison. But hearing that word from this guyâs mouth filled him with intense disgust. Still wearing a hardened expression, Jae-i turned at the sound of a door opening.
Dohwa, emerging hesitantly, froze the moment their eyes met.
ââŠâŠâ
His long hair, down to his waist, was damp from not being properly dried. In that disheveled state, wearing a shirt with visible stains, he grasped the hem briefly before letting it go and speaking.
â…While cleaning yesterday, I moved the box with the letters somewhere else. I thought you might be looking for it.â
ââŠâŠâ
Letters? That hadnât even crossed his mind.
Near the end of their meal, Dohwa had accidentally knocked over the bowl of soybean paste soup. That was how the stains got on his shirt, and why soup had splashed into his hair. Jae-i had immediately sent him off to clean up. Told him not to bother and just go shower. But now he had come out again without drying his hair properly, wearing the same dirty clothesâand then brought up the letters.
Jae-i let out a heavy sigh and rose to his feet. His strides as he approached were intimidating, but Dohwa stood still. Towering like a wall before him, Jae-i lowered his eyes and spoke.
âWhy are you wearing those clothes again?â
âBecause I donât have anything else?â
ââŠâŠâ
Dohwa blinked as if the question wasnât even worth pondering and answered right away.
It left Jae-i at a loss for words, but he wasnât about to accept it so easily. His scowl deepened, and he stepped back slightly to look Dohwa over from head to toe.
ââŠThen youâve been wearing the same underwear this whole time too?â
ââŠâŠâ
The answer was already obvious. Jae-iâs expression made it clear he thought, disgusting bastard.
There werenât even spare clothes, so underwear wouldnât have been any different. Though he had washed and dried them onceâwhen Jae-i had gone out yesterday. But with that stern gaze pinned on him, he couldnât bring himself to say anything. Dohwa clamped his mouth shut like a clam and looked away. Jae-i sighed heavily.
ââŠStay right there.â
Then he headed to his own room.
Inside was a dressing room larger than the bedroom itself. Though roughly organized, it was still piled with clothes, many of them with tags still on. He grabbed a few things at randomâshirt, pants, and a pair of underwear.
His palms itched at the thought of giving away clothes heâd bought for himself. But he had given him something once before, too. Telling himself it was just lending something he wasnât using right now, he stuffed the clothes into Dohwaâs arms. Watching Dohwaâs eyes widen as he took them with both hands, Jae-i told him to go change.
Dohwa, after a momentâs hesitation, quickly returned in the changed clothes. But everything was too big. The short-sleeved shirt turned out to be more like a three-quarter sleeve, covering even the backs of his hands, and the pants looked like a skirt. His waistband was so thick from being rolled over multiple times that Jae-iâs gaze lifted only to find Dohwaâs hair still wet.
Why didnât he dry it properly? Recalling how his hair had been damp after his last shower too, Jae-i abruptly stood again.
âFollow me.â
ââŠâŠâ
Dohwa watched Jae-i take the lead, then shuffled along behind. As soon as they entered Dohwaâs room, Jae-iâs expression darkened further. Because he caught the faint scent lingering in the air.
He couldnât place it, but it smelled a little like sweet milk. Taking long strides, he went straight into the bathroom and picked up the hair dryer. Heâd attached a battery to it that lasted ten years so he wouldnât have to plug it in every time, and as soon as he hit the button, warm air began to blow.
Looking at Dohwa standing awkwardly at the entrance to the room, Jae-i held the dryer out toward him.
âDry your hair with this.â
Dohwa looked between Jae-iâs face and the large hand holding the dryer, then stepped forward. Hesitantly, he accepted it and bent his head beneath the nozzle. But just standing there with his head down made Jae-i feel increasingly frustrated, so he snatched the dryer from the small hand.
He pressed one finger to the back of the small head that tried to lift, saying firmly, âStay still,â and began moving the dryer around, focusing on the wet scalp. The soft, well-kept hair dried quickly and fluttered in the warm air. At first he aimed only at the roots, but soon moved down to the long strands trailing over his shoulders.
The quiet hum of the low-noise dryer filled the room. As he waved it gently in one hand, Jae-i looked at the small head in front of him.
ââŠâŠâ
A doll, huh. Were they trying to make him do what his mother did?
These days, being gay wasnât unusual, nor was it something people got shamed for. Maybe they thought they could make use of that. Or maybe not. They could have paired him with a woman instead.
But could someone like this even satisfy anyone? Even though he was technically male, there was nothing about him that gave off that impression, and he didnât seem capable of much in bed either. Rather than someone who embraced others, he seemed more like someone meant to be held. The image of Dohwa nestled in someoneâs large arms made Jae-iâs stomach churn.
Smack.
ââŠOw.â
Startled by the light thud and accompanying sound, Jae-i looked down.
Dohwa, who had been quietly offering his head the whole time, raised one hand to touch it. His eyes, visible through strands of hair, clearly conveyed the complaint: Whyâd you hit me? Seemed heâd gotten lost in thought and accidentally bonked him with the dryer. It hadnât been intentional. Realizing this, Jae-i gripped the dryer more firmly.
âWhat are you looking at? Keep your head down.â
Then he grabbed the middle of the long hair and gave it a shake.
âIf youâre going to keep neglecting your hair like this, just cut it. Whatâs the point of growing it out like that?â
He lowered the dryer again. Whirrr. As the air blew and his hair swayed, Dohwa moved the hand that had been rubbing his head away. Seeing that, Jae-i looked at the dryer in his hand. The tip was pointy, but the material wasnât especially hard. It probably hadnât hurt that muchâ
As he aimed the airflow back at the scalp, he lightly pressed a fingertip to the skin beneath the fine strands. Dohwaâs scalp was pale and clean, densely covered with thin hair. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. As he withdrew his hand, Jae-i recalled the way Johan and Ahn Yuna had reacted the moment they saw Dohwa.