IKC C18

by berry

Chapter 18

The closer the camera zoomed in on me, the more I flinched back.

My breathing grew too rough, and I covered my mouth with both hands. Already, the second verse solo had begun.

“Ah…!”

Against the backdrop of an endless sky, there I was—singing and dancing freely.

Even as I watched it with my own eyes, it didn’t feel real.

The dancers joined playfully, sneaking in with grins, trading glances with each other, until at last they fell back into formation—leaving me at center.

It wasn’t until the harmonies I had piled up so carefully burst out beyond the video that I realized it.

I was crying.

“Ha, fuck…!”

I had longed to sing like this. Not harsh, artificial high notes that didn’t suit me, but a song flowing with emotion, beautiful and raw.

Both Geonwoo-hyung and I had strained after charisma we didn’t have, losing what mattered most.

And now I could finally admit—we’d been trapped in the single thought of wanting to beat Seong Sehan.

“Taegyeong-hyung!”

The conference room door slammed open before I lifted my tired head.

“Hyung? Why are you on the floor?”

Seeing me sitting on the ground instead of on a chair, Jeongmin rushed over, scanning me in panic.

“Are you okay? Do you feel sick?”

“I’m not sick… I just feel a little drained, that’s all, Maknae.”

Every ounce of emotion spent, I’d slumped down. Leaning against the wall, I managed a crooked grin, making him loosen with relief.

“Hyung! You were amazing, Taegyeong-hyung! The best! I almost cried watching!”

I already cried, you brat.

“You looked even cooler than in real life! You’re way better on camera! Right?”

“What? This kid…”

I wanted to ruffle his neck but didn’t have the strength to stand.

“Taegyeong-hyung!”

“Hyung!”

Behind him, Suin and Hosu peeked in. Seeing the three crowded together warmed my chest despite everything.

“Hyung, look! It’s not even an hour since upload, but the views already broke 20,000! And tons of comments too—70 already!”

…What?

I stared blankly at Suin waving his phone, then shot up and lunged for the desk, cracking open my laptop.

Just minutes ago, I thought views and comments didn’t matter. But hearing “over 20,000 already” set my heart hammering.

27,368. The number ticked up live before my eyes. I couldn’t blink, that hypnotic movement holding me.

“Hyung, look!”

Excited, Hosu shoved his phone before me.

“Perfect’s Seong Sehan commented!”

I unconsciously licked chapped lips, scrolling fast with tacky, nervous fingers.

@Ssehan – 5 minutes ago:

“Just as expected of Lee Taegyeong”

1:47

2:50

3:36

⌄ 8 replies

“…Yeah. It’s really him.”

Sehan actually left a comment? I was startled, conflicted—relieved and nauseous all at once. Sweat spread across my palm. The kids were watching, and I didn’t know what face to make.

“Hyung, lucky! Think Sehan-hyung will comment on my video too?”

“Wow, so cool you’re close to him, Taegyeong-hyung.”

They patted me with envy. My head spun, and I covered my forehead.

“Hyung, read the comments—they’re all praise! Fans are falling for you!”

“Taegyeong-hyung, you’re amazing!”

The room buzzed with their excitement, but I still couldn’t bring myself to scroll further.

“Just as expected of Lee Taegyeong.”

That alone was enough. If Sehan said I was enough—then it felt like everything was okay.

But it wasn’t so simple.

“Agh! Damn it, what the hell?”

Not even an hour after Sehan’s comment, articles exploded.

<‘Just as expected of Lee Taegyeong’—Can Global’s new idol group rival Perfect Puzzle?>

Did reporters do nothing but chase Sehan all day? Why blow a single harmless comment out of proportion like this?

(video)

(photo)

“Global Ent’s rising star, Taegyeong.”

(photo, via company)

“Wow… me, the company’s rising star?”

I laughed hollowly—it was the first I’d heard of it. Clearly the company had grabbed screenshots for the press since we didn’t even have profile pics yet.

“This is insane.”

Thanks to Sehan’s stray comment, I had press. Videos surging with views. Reality felt blurry, my mind empty.

Just then, my phone rang loud. Team Leader Jang Joomi’s name flashed.

“Yes, Team Leader.”

―“Taegyeong, did you come in today? Why’s it so hard to spot you at all?”

“Ah, I’m in the practice room. But, honestly… I was hiding. Sorry!”

―“Hahaha! I get it. It’s natural to want time alone.”

Her bright laugh eased me. I’d been wary, the senior staff’s eyes often cold on me.

―“Your video’s receiving great feedback. Doesn’t it feel like our group will succeed? Let’s work hard.”

“Yes! I’ll give it my all!”

I sprang up with a bow, even though she couldn’t see me.

The call shook me awake again.

I needed to focus—both on practice and lessons. We hadn’t even debuted, I couldn’t lose focus already.

If we were going to grind late into the night, I had to eat right. Time to herd the boys to the cafeteria.

Before leaving, I opened the video again, staring at Sehan’s pinned comment one last time.

⌣ Global Ent – Pinned

@Ssehan – 5 hours ago:

“Just as expected of Lee Taegyeong”

1:47

2:50

3:36

839 replies

“Reaction’s amazing. Congratulations!”

“Eat plenty!”

At the cafeteria that evening, staff clapped us on the shoulders warmly.

“Thank you! We’ll keep working hard!”

“Working hard!”

“Haha, don’t stand, just eat.”

I sat again, dazed. Even with a prior debut, I’d never felt this level of warmth from company staff.

Back then… the atmosphere had been rotten.

“Eat up, Taegyeong.”

I’d drifted blank until Geonwoo-hyung pulled me back. I picked up my spoon again.

“But why didn’t Sehan comment on Gun-hyung’s video? They were in the same lineup.”

At Hosu’s careless jab, my lip twitched. Ah, right. He wasn’t the best with sensitivity.

“He probably forgot. He’s not that meticulous.”

“I didn’t get along with Sehan.”

At Geonwoo’s words, silence cut in. He ladled more soup, feigning indifference.

“Two composers in one team—it meant constant arguments. Taegyeong was the one caught between us.”

Hyung tried to phrase it calmly, but his face flushed redder.

“I was… jealous. Always holding him in check…”

“Hyung…”

These days he seemed determined to speak all past sins aloud. It was good for him as a leader, perhaps—but not in front of the young ones.

“I was worse. People don’t know, but living beside a genius makes it hellish for those nearest to him.”

“That’s true, hyung. I used to envy Sehan too.”

“Of course. Who wouldn’t?”

They quickly shifted to chatter about view counts again. Hyung forced himself to focus on eating.

He was trying to erase any consciousness of Sehan, but I knew—like me—it wasn’t easy.

If not for the status window, I doubt I’d have found the courage to ever face him.

Clang! Clatter!

“Hyung?”

“Taegyeong?”

I blanked out. My spoon had clattered to the floor, all of them staring shocked.

“You okay?”

“Hyung, your face is white! Are you sick?”

“…I’m fine.”

The truth: the status window only appeared because Sehan had died. He had died. From an accident.

“Hyung, pinch me.”

I thrust my arm at Geonwoo, his face baffled.

“Jeongmin—pinch me hard. I need to know this isn’t a dream.”

Was Sehan alive right now? Was us preparing for debut real? I had to know.

“Yow! Ow ow ow ow…!”

Jeongmin pinched so brutally I had to leap up, stomping around to bleed the pain.

“Hyung, you just can’t believe the views and reaction, right? It’s not a dream.”

“Agh—thanks, brat.”

Ring-ring—my phone rattled on the table.