SAFBIAN Ch 162

Chapter 162 (Extra 1.6)

“Ugh, hhrrngh…”

Dori groaned and twisted in his sleep.

Haban, who had been watching him with a dark expression, quietly pulled the quilt back up over him.

His whole body was curled up, drenched in sweat, a sight that was almost painful to watch.

It had already been several days like this — Dori groaning and whimpering in his sleep.

Haban’s heart weighed on him like a stone.

If only he would blame me instead.

When asked what kind of dreams they were, Dori said he remembered nothing.

Yet the way his eyes widened in fright the second he opened them and saw Haban, or the way he hastily clutched at his own ankles, made it painfully obvious. His pale face was filled with fear.

It wasn’t the sort of memory one could easily forget.

Haban slowly closed his eyes, then opened them again.

Dori’s body slowly grew stronger with each passing day, but when he wasn’t in sight, Haban was still overcome with anxiety. When Haban had insisted on sleeping in the same bed, the court physician (의관)1 had objected at first — but stepped down after seeing Haban stay awake night after night without sleeping at all.

But should he have arranged for Dori to sleep separately, no matter what Dori said? Haban had thought it would be better than waking alone.

What if instead, sleeping by his side was actually worse?

He was priceless, precious, and Haban did not know what to do now that Dori seemed only to fear him.

“Hahh! A–ahhh… don’t…”

Once again, Dori’s body shook as though seized by a fit. Haban held him in his arms and soothed him — until at last, his breathing slowed and grew quiet. Only then did Haban unwrap his embrace.

Sitting up, he glanced down and saw that in all his struggling, Dori’s ankle had slipped out from the quilt, pale against the bedding. His skin was smooth, flawless, without a trace of injury.

As though bewitched, Haban reached out, clasped the slim, delicate ankle — the very place he had once struck with an arrow — and pressed his lips to it.

From now on, no one will ever harm him. Not even me.

Haban stretched out Dori’s legs properly beneath the quilt and tucked it down tightly, not allowing the slightest draft.

“…Mmm.”

But in doing so, Dori stirred awake.

“…Haban?”

He groped at the space beside him and, finding it empty, murmured softly. Still half-submerged in sleep, he didn’t realize the great shadow was now sitting at his feet.

“Mmhh… You’re not asleep yet? Can’t sleep again?”

As always, though he had clearly endured a nightmare, he never mentioned it. Instead, even then, he worried about Haban.

Haban, muttering that it was nothing, lay back down. Dori, nestling naturally against his side, drifted back into slumber in an instant.

Even if they condemned him for selfishness — how could he ever discard this warmth? That night, once more, Haban sat wide awake, watching Dori.

A few days later.

Haban drifted into a shallow sleep and then woke in alarm. It was already deep into the night. The sliding window had been left slightly open, and moonlight faintly seeped in through the thin paper panes.

A shudder of dread dropped heavy in Haban’s chest.

Normally, by now, Dori would have been writhing in a nightmare.

And each night, he would soothe and comfort him until he fell back asleep again. For that reason alone, Haban always remained awake until this hour.

But tonight — why was he so perfectly still?

What if he has left me, body abandoned?

His trembling hand reached out, desperate, to touch Dori’s arm. Warmth, alive. He pressed his hand just beneath Dori’s nose — phoo, phoo, steady breaths strong enough he wondered how he could have ever doubted.

And yet Haban moved once more, lowering his ear to check his heartbeat. Thump, thump-thump, thump-thump. The beat quickened, spirited, brimming with the vitality of life. It felt as though this pulsation tied Dori irrevocably to this world.

Only then did Haban lie back against his pillow.

Perhaps tonight, at last, Dori would dream peacefully.

Haban closed his heavy eyes.

“….”

Meanwhile, Dori swallowed the saliva pooled in his mouth, careful not to be noticed.

The moment Haban had jolted upright in panic earlier, Dori had already been awake. He hadn’t opened his eyes, believing Haban would soon calm and sleep again.

Even half-asleep, Haban’s restless, frantic movements had been clear.

Twitch.

The corner of Dori’s lips slowly curled up. Their uneven breaths gradually fell into rhythm, intermingling softly.

Soon, the atmosphere between the two became filled only with a gentle closeness.

…That must hurt.

Dori’s nose wrinkled as he watched.

Every time the court physician pulled out a long acupuncture needle from Haban’s body, his feet involuntarily flinched. It felt as though someone were pulling out his own fur one by one. His claws flexed out reflexively and drew back again, over and over.

“All done.”

At last, the physician gathered his set of needles. His brow glistened with beads of sweat from such effort.

Lady Jang Sanggung2 stepped closer and handed him a cloth, and only when the man wiped his forehead did his breathing finally ease.

Dori, too, let his tightly lifted tail drop at last.

“Shall we begin serving His Majesty light meals (gyeongsik, 輕食)3 from tomorrow onward?” asked Lady Jang in a careful tone.

At first, Haban had been fed only a thin gruel, then a thicker porridge. But surely that, too, was insufficient now. It was time to vary the meals, even if only with soft dishes.

The physician pondered, then nodded in agreement.

“Yes. At this stage, it should suffice.”

“Thank goodness,” said Lady Jang, her expression easing.

“In that case, I’ll begin preparing the next decoction of medicine.”

“Physician, just a moment…”

Before he could rush off, Kim Naegwan4 caught him by the sleeve. He lowered his voice very deliberately, and the two began murmuring in hushed tones.

Unfortunately for them, the long-eared fox beside them still heard every word.

“To my knowledge… the male sex (雄性)…”

“I too have heard… of a male conceiving (배태, 胚胎)…”

The problem was simply that the words were too abstruse and archaic for Dori to make sense of them at all.

Unbeknownst to him, Kim Naegwan had deliberately chosen obscure terms so that the sharp-eared fox would not grasp the content, and the physician had responded in kind.

But Dori, after turning his attention away — reassured at least that Haban’s prognosis was good — distracted himself easily. By then, Lady Jang was having the attendants replace the basin of water and towels that had cooled.

“I see. Then I’ll make further inquiries.”

“I leave it in your hands.”

With this, the conversation ended at last and the physician left. The door closed softly.

The fox, sitting back on his haunches, flicked his ears with a hind paw, then suddenly sprang up.

patter–dak!

“Your Highness!” Lady Jang cried, trying to stop him, but too late. He leapt onto the bedding in a bound, landing atop the soft quilt and glanced back mischievously.

“Why do you always act so recklessly?”

Ka-aang…

You should climb more slowly. That is why a step-stool was placed here for you. What if you slip on the edge? Worse, what if you accidentally trample His Majesty while he rests?

Lady Jang’s earnest scolding continued.

“Now that His Majesty has awakened and will soon become yet more exalted, you must not let the servants see you behave without dignity. His majesty’s authority must be preserved.”

At that, Dori drooped his ears in meekness.

Lady Jang was especially strict about propriety. How to walk, how to speak, even how to breathe came with restrictions. Dori found it suffocating. That was, indeed, why he often wandered in his fox form.

Even now, with Haban dozing in shallow sleep after the acupuncture, Dori had sought a companion to be on his side.

But Hong-i and Cheong-i were preoccupied, busily selecting garments without acknowledging him — clothes Dori would have to wear once he returned to human form.

“Now is the time while His Majesty still rests,” Lady Jang admonished the fox, whose tail lashed side to side in protest.

Dori sulkily picked up one of the robes in his mouth and carried it behind the folding screen. Soon he emerged dressed fully, belt fastened with ornaments of glossy black stone.

But by then, Haban was awake, propped upright against the cushions.

…Suspicious.

Wasn’t he awake the whole time, just pretending?

Indeed, even an emperor would shy away from Lady Jang’s nagging. The suspicion was not unfounded. Dori’s nostrils flared.

“Come closer. This purple hue suits you well,” said Haban.

“Really? Isn’t it too flashy for me?”

Of course, with just one word of praise from Haban, Dori’s mood leapt sky-high.

When Haban extended his hand toward him, Dori obediently sat at his side. That tender hand stroked his hair, then drew around his shoulders.

Footnotes:

1. 의관 (uikwan) – court physician, a doctor serving the royal household. 
2. 상궁 (sanggung) – a senior court lady, often overseeing palace affairs and attendants. Lady Jang is one such high-ranked court woman. 
3. 경식 (gyeongsik, 輕食) – literally “light meal,” refers to easily digestible food given during recovery from illness.