SAFBIAN Ch 146

Chapter 146

“Are you trying to open it again?”

Haban asked with a tone of surprise, a hint of amusement at the end.

He teased Dori for his daily routine of taking out the items from the jewelry box one by one, inspecting them, and putting them back. The box’s surface was polished smooth from his careful caresses.

Pouting, Dori said nothing but tapped Haban’s back repeatedly with his finger to express his discontent.

“Leave them be; it’s better than asking to take them out again later.”

Haban said this, then instinctively turned his head.

Before Dori could pull away, he kissed his lips. The soft flesh pressed together, their wide eyes met, and Dori’s white skin flushed bright red in an instant.

“You should accept the price of your request.”

Haban bit his lip, licked it, then nonchalantly lowered his gaze to the memorial tablet.

“Uh… um…”

Dori slyly hid behind Haban again, feeling awkward as the gazes of Lady Jang and the young eunuchs focused on them.

Rustle, wiggle. The warm presence behind him made it hard for Haban to concentrate.

“Do you need your eyes gouged out to learn your lesson?”

The chill in Haban’s voice made the eunuchs quickly turn their faces and hasten their packing.

Indeed, to boldly gawk at the emperor and his favored one was against protocol and could cost one their head instantly.

Yet, seeing the emperor so doting on someone was unsettling.

That one was as white as the moon, as glistening as jade, and even the small forepaw when transformed into a fox was adorable but unfamiliar. Lady Jang struggled to suppress her laughter so hard her cheeks twitched.

Thanks to the young eunuchs’ hurried efforts, the room’s cleaning was nearly done. The shelves hung spotless, and drawers in the cabinets were emptied.

The eunuchs packed up and left. Lady Jang bowed deeply for a moment, then backed away.

Tap.

With a light sound of friction, Dori, left alone with Haban in the room, blinked. Oddly, his heart felt empty. Though the belongings were removed, the room felt hollow.

‘It’s like they’re erasing all traces of me.’

Saddened by the thought, Dori slid his back down along Haban’s, like a drunk collapsing limply but securely.

Haban’s back was as sturdy as his well-built muscles. Except when troubled at night, he was a strong presence to lean on. Every time Haban unfolded his memorial tablet, the back supporting him expanded and shrank in turn.

Dori shifted his hips to lie down halfway. The low table chair was made smaller than those in the palace but styled after them.

To prevent Dori from rolling off while asleep in fox form, armrests and soft padding were installed, making it no different from a bed.

In that position, Dori closed his eyes.

“If you’re sleepy, just close them comfortably.”

“I won’t sleep.”

“Because if I do, I gain weight.”

At Dori’s small remark, Haban silently laughed, though the vibrations of his leaning would certainly be felt.

“Why are you laughing?”

Dori opened one eye crookedly and lightly smacked somewhere on Haban’s body with his arm. Though weak and half-hearted, it wouldn’t have hurt.

“Foxes usually store up nutrients before winter. Constant hunger is natural; don’t worry. I think you’re still quite undernourished, though.”

Haban rolled up the memorial tablet and set it aside. He unfolded another scroll.

Dori rolled halfway and crawled to rest his face on Haban’s thigh.

…Ah. What a presence.

Dori immediately turned his face away, and Haban’s gaze lowered.

Dori held onto Haban’s sleeve, brush in hand.

“How much longer will it take? Is it far?”

“Hmm.”

Haban’s eyes scanned the low desk, then spotted a scroll wrapped in yellow thread. He hid it deeper among other scrolls.

“Are you bored?”

Haban asked gently as if to soothe him.

Though Dori’s pleading was cute, it was difficult to spare any time. The memorial tablets being read were those submitted by provinces, needing the emperor’s direct reading and responses.

“No, I have something to ask.”

“Then why wait until finished? Just ask.”

Fortunately, Dori wasn’t urging him to leave. As if unaware of his weight, Haban wrote a short “불” (No/Not) at the bottom of the tablet.

Dori hesitated long enough before finally opening his lips.

“The emperor goes to the northern villa in the summer when it gets too hot, right?”

Haban paused, dipping his brush anew, a droplet of ink falling onto the paper as his dark pupils deepened.

[Bound behind, gagged, Dori looked only with his eyes to his partner. Flat animal ears and a tail soaked in fluids. Breath shallow and nearly cut off. The exhausted fox had lost all strength after some intimacy. Thick liquid dripped from an open wound.

Haban swirled the cup in his hand before swallowing the liquor in one gulp. The bottle kept in ice cooled the hot liquor on its path down.

“I should go to the northern villa next summer.”

The exhausted fox panting with tongue out could barely bear even abundant ice in his wash basin. It was the same when transformed into human form.

This year, the fox did not go for fear of failing the long journey, but next summer he would return as before.]

“…Where did you hear that?”

“I happened to overhear it at the palace. You know I have good ears.”

Dori pointed to his own ears with his finger.

Instead of saying that his acute hearing never dulled when needed, Haban put down his brush and looked steadily at Dori.

“Is that all?”

“Why?”

“Curious if there’s another reason.”

Faintly recalling something, Haban feigned calm to hide his anxiety. His insides burned hot like swallowing fire.

“No.”

Luckily, Dori’s face was clear and bright in response. If he remembered his past life, he wouldn’t have looked so innocent. Haban finally exhaled slowly.

“The altar is afar; do you still want to go?”

“Of course. Isn’t that allowed?”

“No. It will be cold now, but summer is perfect. I’ll take you out briefly.”

Haban placed a pillow under Dori’s head and stood up. Gathering the scrolls on the tray, he hurried out, feeling as if fleeing.

Suddenly left alone, Dori sat up, ruffled.

‘Why is he acting like that?’

Did Haban confuse me with the original Dori? He deliberately dropped hints from the novel to see if that was the case. Or was the original story intervening, letting me only remember up to the Lantern Festival? Why?

“So complicated.”

Dori groaned and got down from the chair. Approaching the table with the jewelry box, he opened it wide.

Inside were numerous ornaments, each carefully polished smooth. Since Haban had packed the house, these things needed to be sorted too. Though briefly feeling resentful about how they’d been gathered, it soon passed.

They had never been truly his. They belonged to the original Dori. Thinking this comforted him.

‘Is this the end?’

Dori touched where he’d been hit by an arrow in a dream.

‘…It must hurt a lot.’

Even a needle prick brought him to tears; how much worse would a large, sharp arrow be?

Dori’s legs gave way and he collapsed onto a chair. Touching the ornaments, they were polished with care.

A pang of regret.

He took out only a bracelet to wear on his wrist and closed the box again.

If he returned to the real world, leaving the original Dori behind, that would be fine. If he died as in the novel, leaving these as keepsakes for those he cared for was his wish.

Hong and Cheong, and Haewon.

If he died, he would never safely return to the palace and had no hope of seeing them again.

“…I’m sleepy again now.”

He was tired of showing everything.

Dori stomped the floor with an exhausted face and opened the door to go outside, where Haban and Jipyeong were talking.

They did not look well. Maybe something serious was in the memorial tablets. To avoid disturbing, Dori quietly sat on the floor.

Then a chick fluttered to his feet, wobbling unsteadily as though about to fall.

“Riri.”

As if answering his call, the small beak poked at the toes without shoes.

“Playing well?”

Seeing Riri softened his heart. Only she remained in the yard. Since they had to return to the imperial palace, the other chickens and chicks had been sent early to villagers nearby.

Riri had been timid among the other siblings, but now roamed the entire yard as if it belonged to her alone.

The guards carefully hopped to avoid stepping on the tiny chick, while the eunuchs secretly fed her grain—until Lady Jang caught them and they were scolded. Dori was also scolded alongside while holding a grain pouch.

“Actually, I should send you away too.”

Even beasts that cannot speak must feel sadness at parting. A heavy feeling weighed in Dori’s heart.