SAFBIAN Ch 29

Chapter 29

 

The deposition and reinstatement of the crown prince happened once.

Haban leaned against the railing and closed his eyes. Lady Mun died without ever knowing anything, but the rumors that Haban saw ghosts or had gone mad were, in truth, about half true.

Anyone would lose their mind if forced to witness their past mistakes every single day.

It all began after he drank poison due to Lady Mun’s schemes and barely returned from the brink of death. Still, in the beginning, he could forget everything the moment he awoke from sleep.

His tear-soaked eyes and the unbearable pain that made even breathing difficult. Only the sense of loss, as if he had lost something precious, remained. The young Haban, not knowing the reason, frantically scribbled something on a blank sheet of paper.

But as one year passed, then another—

With time, the dreams became increasingly vivid.

‘Haban.’

The moment he saw ‘his own’ struck by an arrow and die.

Mine. My fox. My Dori.

…Ah, you’ve returned.

Haban remembered everything. And in the pitch-black darkness, he resolved to become emperor.

“Your Majesty. The night is cold. Please come down now.”

Court attendant Kim, who had been silently standing by, draped a thick fur cloak over his shoulders. Even though he was wearing several layers, Kim always carried it with him, worried about the cold.

“It’s warm enough already. How long are you going to keep carrying that around? Put it away now.”

“It is my duty, Your Majesty. You needn’t concern yourself.”

“You look like you can’t even lift a spoon, yet you always have to talk back.”

Haban furrowed his brows and opened his eyes. At some point, Kim had discarded the cold tea and poured a fresh one.

A blue fragrance said to clear the mind.

It was a tea the previous emperor had made him drink after people began to suspect Haban of madness. But after recalling ‘his own,’ Haban had also started drinking the tea intentionally.

As he held it in his mouth, a pleasant aroma spread.

‘It hasn’t appeared since then.’

Was it greedy of him to want to embrace even just an illusion?

Seeing the helpless figure lying there, he had reached out, and it had felt as though something was in his hand. Instead of passing through as before, he could grasp the shoulder firmly.

At that moment, he woke up as if being sucked back to reality. Even the thing he had desperately clung to until the end had all been a dream.

‘Perhaps it’s for the better.’

If it ever appears before him again, he would never let it go.

That was why he kept the white fox confined.

Just in case,

On the off chance…

The sun had sunk below his shoulders. The crimson light blurred the boundary between sky and earth, dyeing the world a deep red. The sunset, draped over the wall like a sash and letting its hair fall, was a breathtaking sight.

As night fell in an instant, lanterns began to light up one by one in the palace. Haban turned his gaze away from the window. By imperial command, the study still remained unlit.

Haban approached the desk and checked the papers laid out. The shapes the ink had made all resembled a fox.

His fingers slowly traced the drawings.

He gently brushed the white forehead, the bridge of the nose, and the chin, then turned to the next sheet. It was another fox. Excluding the ones stacked on top of each other, there were countless fox drawings kept in the emperor’s study.

‘Did it always have this expression?’

Frightened eyes. Feet twitching to flee and a completely hidden tail.

‘Mine wasn’t like this.’

The brazen fox confined near his bedroom would bounce under the table like it was demanding meat, nudge things with its snout as if coveting treasures, or even stick its nose into Haban’s teacup the moment he looked away.

It looked exactly like ‘his own,’ but its behavior was entirely different.

‘I should have treated it better.’

Every time he saw the fox’s insolent ways, he regretted it.

If only he had fed ‘his own’ good food, dressed it in fine clothes, shown it only beautiful things, and asked it to stay by his side—perhaps it would have stayed.

After ‘his own’ left, life alone was unbearable. The blood growing cold in his arms haunted even his dreams.

Ignoring his people, Haban locked himself in the palace and stared endlessly at the fox bead. When the rage of starving citizens turned into blades and the tip of the sword pierced his back, he remained seated, facing the fox bead.

Gush!

As the sword that had pierced his chest was pulled out in one stroke, the bright red blood he vomited splattered over the fox bead and the cushion beneath him.

‘…Ri-ya.’

With trembling hands, Haban carefully wiped the blood from the fox bead.

‘Now I can finally go to you…’

It was said foxes had a god. If one placed a sincere wish into a pure fox bead, the fox god would grant it.

In the moment of death, perhaps ‘his own’ had prayed never to meet him again. That must have been why Haban prayed—to be sent to wherever ‘his own’ was.

But the world cruelly brought him back to this land. Just before he opened his eyes, a voice had clearly spoken.

‘This is your last chance. If you repeat the same mistake, you will never meet again.’

Was that the god the fox believed in?

Or just a hallucination of his own making?

Why had he returned? And why, in this world he had returned to, did ‘his own’ not exist? Haban still didn’t know.

As he left the study and headed toward his quarters, the palace attendants guarding the entrance cautiously stepped aside.

The inside was still silent. Haban, having extinguished even the candles, followed a faint sound of breathing in the pitch-dark room.

Soon, as his eyes adjusted to the dark, he could make out the small bulge on the cushion.

‘That insolent thing.’

Not even human, yet sleeping naturally in his bed.

Its back slowly rose and fell. Unlike earlier, when it had been rigid, its ears occasionally twitched as it flicked away sounds.

It wore an expression of comfort, as if the bed were its den. Even its breathing was soft and rhythmic.

‘So much for being cautious.’

Haban was dumbfounded.

The physician had said the fox would be scared in the unfamiliar palace, but instead of being sensitive, it didn’t even react to nearby sounds.

‘Shall I wake it?’

If it opened its eyes and saw him, it would surely leap up in fright. It wouldn’t be able to hide under the bed and would probably just bury its head under a pillow.

Haban pulled a thin blanket over the curled-up fox. Despite being well-fed, it was still so small.

‘Tch.’

He quickly dismissed the thoughts that had come to mind and gently patted its fluffy back.

Only then did the fox stir, its eyelids slowly lifting. The usually jewel-like golden eyes were hazy, clouded with sleep.

Shadows gathered beneath the long, dense eyelashes. Then, the eyes closed again.

Haban felt oddly displeased.

“Keep this place well-guarded. If even a single hair of the fox disappears, you will all be held accountable.”

Without looking back, Haban gave a short command as he exited the building. Following the physician’s advice that it was a wary animal, he cleared the surrounding area.

Yet the atmosphere outside was even more tense.

At the sight of the grim-faced emperor in a foul mood, the palace maids hurried to shut the doors and stood with their backs turned. Under the window locked from outside, each eunuch crouched quietly.

The emperor never misspeaks. If the white fox were to escape the palace, the heads of all those palace attendants would truly roll.

As Haban exited the palace, the heavy wooden doors shut with a thud, and soldiers surrounded the palace. Their sharp spears glinted threateningly, as if to pierce the heavens.

Until he gave permission, it would not open again.

As Haban moved forward, Jipyeong followed close behind.

Shortly after the emperor left—

The fox turned translucent into a human form before reverting again to its animal form.

Ssshh! As oil was poured onto a wide griddle, the hot surface sizzled with heat.

A palace maid named Cheong dipped thin slices of flour-coated meat into egg wash before placing them on the griddle. As the color turned golden brown, a fish as thick as a forearm was being grilled over a wire rack beside her.

Stretching her back for a moment, Cheong glanced around, then spoke quietly.

“Wherever they caught it from, it’s huge. Hong-ah, is that also for the fox?”

“Watch your mouth. What if Chief Attendant Jang hears you? Last time, one of the maids who called it a fox got transferred.”

“What? That was real? I thought it was just a rumor.”

“Where in this palace is there smoke without fire?”

“Then is it true someone was beheaded for trying to seduce His Majesty?”

“That has nothing to do with us. Anyway, stop distracting me, I can’t concentrate.”

Hong was busy keeping the fish from burning, her nerves on edge. The maids behind her were also preoccupied, chopping vegetables into bite-sized pieces and washing fruits thoroughly.

‘Hmm.’

The fox’s meal, which had once been subtly added to His Majesty’s tray, was now becoming the main course.

Cheong found it rather strange.

“Hong, don’t you think His Majesty cherishes the fox too much?”

“You’re only realizing that now?”

Hong replied sharply, her tone crisp. Then she jabbed Cheong’s elbow, signaling her to stop being a nuisance before the strict Chief Attendant Jang spotted them.

Cheong quickly gathered her skirt, crouched down, and flipped the pancakes. The savory smell was delightful. She could easily imagine the fox wagging its tail excitedly upon seeing this.

‘Then His Majesty will try to cut it into bite-sized pieces again, only to get angry at the fox’s eager little paw.’