TCBW C85

Chapter 85

He quickly rose from his seat, took the tablet that lay beside him, and approached Suhoe. Tilting his head slightly, he placed the device carefully into his husband’s hands.

“W–what’s this?”

Suhoe accepted it but looked utterly puzzled. He didn’t even know how to turn it on. Dowoon realized his mistake and leaned over to unlock the screen for him.

“It’s a gift.”

“…A gift? But you’ve already given me so many for my birthday.”

Suhoe’s expression grew even more confused.

“Before,” Dowoon said simply.

“Yes?”

When he began to speak again, Suhoe immediately fell quiet, his attention caught by the man’s movements. The broad, elegant curve of Dowoon’s forefinger glided across the glass, commanding his gaze like a magnet.

“You said you wanted to see the sea. But we never went.”

“That’s true…”

Dowoon opened a folder and showed him several pictures. There were people walking along the sand, and a newly built Ferris wheel gleaming in bright, saturated colors under the sun. Yet strangely, there wasn’t a single photo of the ocean itself.

“What about the sea…?”

Why wasn’t he showing the one thing he’d wanted to see most? Were these the gift? As Suhoe looked up at him with wide, questioning eyes, Dowoon reached out and gently brushed his fingertips along his soft cheek.

“I was thinking,” he said quietly, “we could go on the day you’re discharged.”

At his low, steady voice, Suhoe fell silent. The words should have excited him — but instead, a strange stillness settled inside. He couldn’t find any joy in it.

The tenderness in Dowoon’s expression only made it worse.

Because Suhoe knew. No matter how genuine he looked, it was a promise that shimmered like a mirage — beautiful, unreachable, and gone before one could touch it.

Too many disappointments, too many abandoned hopes had already worn him down. He was afraid to believe again. Even though the discharge date was circled on the small desk calendar by the window, Suhoe hadn’t looked at it once.

He didn’t want to be swayed again.

As he hesitated, unsure how to answer, Dowoon pinched his cheek firmly, snapping him out of thought.

“Ow—!”

“This time, it’s real. So say you’ll go.”

How could he believe that? After so many broken promises?

Suhoe held his aching cheek, wincing as he looked up at him. Even without seeing, he knew it must have turned red — his soft, pale skin tender beneath Dowoon’s strong fingers.

“Ah dah ruh lyo?” he mumbled, his words distorted by the pinched cheek.

Dowoon stared for a beat, then caught both of Suhoe’s cheeks in his palms, leaning in close. He parted his lips, the movement slow and deliberate, until it seemed he might press them against that flushed skin.

“Hmm?”

He lightly caught the edge of Suhoe’s cheek between his lips — not painful, but teasing, affectionate. It was the kind of gesture he had never done before, and it left Suhoe utterly flustered.

“Wh–what are you doing…?”

“Mm. I meant what I said. About the sea. If you don’t believe me, we can go right now.”

There was a faint tension in Dowoon’s face, as though he too was nervous. Perhaps he understood the root of Suhoe’s unease, and perhaps he believed — naively or earnestly — that he could fix it if he tried hard enough.

“So just say you’ll come.”

He gazed down at Suhoe’s rosy cheeks, his hand rising slowly to rest atop the younger man’s head. His thick fingers slipped gently through the strands of soft hair, brushing the sensitive skin beneath.

“Ah—!”

Suhoe flinched, shoulders trembling. It had been so long since they’d touched like this; the sudden closeness was overwhelming.

Dowoon looked at him quietly, then drew him into his arms.

“Decide,” he murmured. “I’d rather you didn’t say no — though I’ll try to accept it if you do.”

He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. Every breath filled his lungs with the faint scent of peach that always clung to Suhoe. He didn’t think about it much — not the pheromones, not the memories tied to that scent. The only thing that mattered was the person in his arms.

“…Dowoon.”

Pressed against that broad, solid chest, Suhoe clutched the fabric of his shirt, his heart racing.

He had enjoyed the calm between them lately — their quiet, uneventful days. But there had been an emptiness too. Now, feeling Dowoon’s warmth so close, the thought of refusing never even crossed his mind.

Especially when that faint, clean scent — the one that always lingered after Dowoon bathed at their Balhwa-dong home — mingled with his natural smell, wrapping around him in something achingly familiar.

“Do you really mean it…?” he whispered.

“What?”

Eyes still closed, Dowoon’s voice came out low and even.

Suhoe drew back slightly, his face pink. “When you said, if I couldn’t believe you, you’d take me today… you meant that?”

“Of course. If that’s what you want, I’ll call the doctors and arrange it.”

He meant it. With discharge only days away, it wasn’t impossible. Dowoon had extended Suhoe’s stay only out of caution, to ensure his recovery.

And if seeing the ocean — the place he’d longed for — could soothe even a fraction of his anxiety, then perhaps that was worth it.

What he didn’t say was that he, too, hadn’t been well.

Since sensing that strange pulse of fear from Suhoe, he had felt something foreign growing inside him — a cold tremor, almost like their emotions were bleeding together. They hadn’t even completed their bond, yet somehow, her fear had found its way into him.

He didn’t show it. But it was there, quiet and heavy.

So now, anything Suhoe wanted, he would give. Anything he asked to see, to touch, to do — as long as it was within his sight, he would allow it.

“So,” he asked softly, “do you want to go?”

He pulled Suhoe close again, ignoring how the younger man had pushed him away moments earlier. His warm brown eyes shimmered faintly as they met Suhoe’s, waiting for an answer.

Suhoe’s face flushed scarlet.

He thought bitterly — You don’t even remember the night of your rut. You don’t know I love you. And yet… you still draw me in like you do.

Tears stung his eyes, and a small droplet clung to his lashes.

It wasn’t fair.

I can’t even ask you…

Why had he been in pain that night in the hallway? Why did he look so broken?

There were so many things he wanted to ask, but he couldn’t. He never had. Not once in their marriage had he questioned Dowoon when the man was sober — not out of fear, but because he didn’t want to burden him.

He had always chosen silence — restraint disguised as care.

But Dowoon, no matter how much distance he put between them, always found a way to draw him back in.

It felt inevitable, as though this fate had been decided long before either of them were born. Perhaps his love, too, was something he had been destined to surrender to.

Suhoe wrapped his arms around him tightly, as if his small body could hold the world together.

“I’ll go.”

It didn’t matter where. The sea, the city, or anywhere else — as long as Dowoon was there.

When he first said he wanted to see the ocean, he had imagined going with Unhyo. But now, Dowoon was all he could think of.

Lord Gaegeum, Lord Unhyo, Dragon of the Heavens, he prayed silently, I know you told me not to reach for what isn’t mine… but I love this man.

He didn’t even know what kind of scent wrapped around Dowoon that night — only that he wanted to breathe it in forever. He held him close, thinking maybe someday, when he looked back on this day, he would remember it without regret.

Even if I never see the sea again… let me stay by him. Let this man and the child inside me be my only wish.

Dowoon, seeing the resolve in Suhoe’s embrace, exhaled deeply — as though solidifying a decision of his own.

The black sports car sliced through the open road like a blade through wind. On either side, the colors of summer stretched endlessly — vivid blues and greens lined in rippling rows that shimmered under the sunlight.

In the passenger seat, Suhoe’s eyes sparkled as he gazed out the window, watching the landscape unfold — the mountains, trees, and fields rushing past in a wash of color.

The speed made it impossible to take in every detail, yet the blur of motion itself was beautiful, like a film playing before his eyes.

“It’s downhill,” Dowoon warned quietly. “Sit properly.”

“You’re driving yourself?” Suhoe asked, turning toward him in surprise. “I’ve never seen you drive before.”

He smiled faintly.

“And I didn’t know you had more than one car either.”

His slender hand pressed lightly into the pale beige leather of the seat, leaving a tiny mark. He had only ever seen the black sedan Dowoon used for work.

“I rarely need to,” Dowoon said. “This one’s just… something I kept from when I was younger.”

“Younger? Like your twenties?”

He nodded once.

Suhoe grinned, bouncing his shoulders with visible excitement. This — being alone together, on the way to the sea — felt rare and precious.

Dowoon glanced sideways at him, watching the way he talked endlessly, filling the car with his bright voice. A small smile tugged at his lips.

The car glided smoothly down the long coastal road, swift and silent as a ship on calm waters, until they reached a quiet stretch of beach.

As soon as the tires stilled, Suhoe burst out of the passenger seat, his face alight with childlike glee. Dowoon followed after, stepping into the sea breeze that carried the scent of salt and sun.

It was still early in the season, yet a few surfers dotted the waves — dark silhouettes dancing against the shining blue.