TGIC Ch 121

Chapter 121

“…Must you really receive guiding today? You were just discharged yesterday, and on top of that, you went all the way to the gate. You must be exhausted…”

Avoiding his gaze as he replied, Gidam looked unmistakably reluctant about guiding. Vasily felt sorry for him, but this time he had no intention of letting it slide.

This was a chance he had been anticipating for quite some time — his first opportunity to properly receive guiding from Gidam after the suppression chip had been removed.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make it quick today.”

The moment Gidam realized Vasily had no intention of backing down, his expression darkened further. Vasily continued, as though offering a concession.

“Instead, I’ll let Guide Kwon Gidam choose where we do it. Where would you like it to be?”

“…Then I’ll prepare and come to your room, Esper-nim.”

“Alright. I’ll be waiting, so don’t take too long.”

“….”

Leaving Gidam’s room, Vasily could not suppress the smile spreading over his lips as he walked away.

Unlike the Gidam of before, who had rejected him and allowed only the bare minimum of guiding, the man before him now carried memories of having been bound to him under a formal contract from the moment he awakened as a guide, spending long years together. Surely, this guiding would be utterly different from all those that had come before.

The thought alone made his thirst rise. The anticipation of seeing how different it might feel was almost unbearable.

Even now, he wanted to push Gidam down and take in guiding to his heart’s content — yet Vasily decided to wait just a little longer. After all, there was nowhere Gidam could escape to.

After stepping out from the shower, Vasily glanced around the room, buoyed by his swelling expectations. But the air in the room was still and empty.

Could he be intending to avoid it entirely? If so, Vasily thought, he would have to drag Gidam out this instant — but just as the thought crossed his mind, the door latch clicked, and Gidam walked in.

“Ah.”

Catching sight of Vasily, fresh out of the bath, Gidam flicked his gaze away. Unlike the usual reaction, in which he would shout at him to put on some clothes, this response was uncharacteristically docile.

After six years as his guide, one might think he’d be used to seeing a bare body — yet it seemed he was still prone to embarrassment, unable to meet Vasily’s eyes. At that, Vasily’s sharp-edged mood softened somewhat.

“Don’t just stand there. Come here.”

“…Yes.”

Well then — shall we begin the guiding?

Seating Gidam on the bed, Vasily slowly brushed a hand along his cheek. At the touch of his fingertips, Gidam squeezed his eyes tightly shut, as if bracing for what would follow, and that alone was enough to stir him below.

Intending to meet his expectations, Vasily leaned in to press their lips together — but just before contact, he realized something was wrong.

Gidam’s breathing was uneven, and the trembling transmitted through Vasily’s fingertips was growing steadily worse.

Looking down again, the first thing to catch his eye was the lip bitten hard enough to turn red, and a jaw locked stiffly tight. Gidam’s hands, clenched into hard fists, shook violently, his face pale as a sheet.

It was neither nervousness nor anticipation.

That fear, laid bare before his eyes, was one Vasily knew well.

Just like someone moments away from dying by his hands, Gidam was simply trembling — frozen by overwhelming terror, unable even to flee.

“…”

Vasily’s gaze chilled as he looked down at Gidam, quivering like a leaf in the wind.

How foolish he had been to look forward to this guiding. The Gidam who had returned from the past was the same guide who had, first thing, implanted a suppression chip. How could he have imagined that such a man would have ever been on good terms with him?

In an instant, his mood plummeted. All desire to take in guiding faded swiftly away.

As the cold air seeping from his body spread through the room, Gidam flinched even further, hunching his shoulders in fright. Watching the renewed trembling worsen, Vasily finally spoke.

“Leave.”

“…Pardon?”

“I’ve changed my mind. I don’t need guiding. Get out.”

With an icy tone, Vasily jerked his chin toward the door.

Hearing that he would not be guided, Gidam was far more taken aback than he had expected. Even as his body shook, he glanced up furtively, as though seeking forgiveness — and that only deepened the chill in Vasily’s mood.

“Tch…!”

Vasily seized Gidam’s wrist roughly and hauled him to his feet. Whether from shock or the weakness of his legs, Gidam staggered, barely managing to stand upright.

Vasily dragged him straight to the doorway. The moment he released him, Gidam stumbled back, collapsing onto the floor. Seeing this, Vasily slammed the door shut.

Bang!

Standing before the closed door, he let out a slow breath. Ice began to spread outward from beneath his palm resting against the wood.

Had he let go any later, Gidam’s wrist might have frozen solid. He watched the frost creep outward with a blank expression — until a voice reached him through the door.

“You’re really letting me go…?”

The murmur, laden with disbelief, filtered faintly in through the narrow gap.

At dawn, Vasily took Gidam straight to the Association.

“…”

In the silent confines of the car, not a single word passed between them. As though nothing at all had transpired the night before, neither Vasily nor Gidam so much as broached the subject.

He could feel Gidam’s uneasy glances in the oppressive hush where even their breaths seemed swallowed — but Vasily kept his lips firmly shut to the end.

Upon arriving at the Association, Vasily headed straight for the laboratory where their assigned physician worked. Opening the door, he found the doctor rising from his seat in surprise.

“Ah, Esper Vasily. I was under the impression you would not be coming to the Association for some time — what brings you here without contacting us?”

“Guide Kwon Gidam has lost his memory.”

“…What?”

“How do we get it back?”

At that, the man’s face drained of color. Glancing in turn between Vasily and the Gidam who had followed in behind him, the doctor spoke, voice flustered.

“Has he been without memory ever since awakening?”

“Yes. From the moment he woke, he’s had no recent memories.”

“But — I was told you’d been discharged with no issues whatsoever…!”

“At the time, I didn’t think it was a serious problem.”

In a panic, the doctor began making calls at once. Vasily, leaving him to it, lowered himself onto a nearby chair.

He shifted his gaze toward Gidam. Even under these circumstances, Gidam stood well away from him, staring off at some distant point rather than at Vasily himself.

“…Unpleasant.”

Only some time ago, Vasily had found his subdued demeanor agreeable — but now this blatant distance irked him.

After some time and many phone calls, the doctor finally returned to speak.

“I believe we’ll need to take another brain scan. Guide Kwon Gidam, would you accompany me?”

The doctor gestured toward the door, but Gidam remained rooted to the spot. Instead, he cast a sidelong glance at Vasily and murmured his name softly.

“Esper Vasily.”

“…Go on.”

It was as though he were seeking permission. Only then did Gidam follow the doctor out of the lab.

Watching him depart in such a manner made Vasily frown. Did he require consent for every little thing? It was all too clear how Gidam must have behaved as his guide.

Left alone in the empty lab, Vasily leaned back in his chair, mulling over why, exactly, his mood felt so soured.

A while later, Gidam and the doctor returned.

Vasily stepped out into the corridor with the physician, making sure Gidam would not overhear. He had no intention of revealing the matter of the suppression chip just yet, so he intended to first learn the results himself, then pass on only what was necessary.

“Fortunately, there’s nothing abnormal about his brain. However, as you said, he does not recall precisely what happened, nor does he seem to know of the suppression chip. It’s likely that the shock from the chip’s explosion caused him to lose parts of his memory.”

“So how do we get it back?”

“I’m afraid there’s no certain answer to that. Sometimes it returns naturally over time; more rarely, a blow to the head can restore it — but… it’s also possible it will never return.”

“Never?”

Vasily’s brows drew together. The uncertainty of when the memories might resurface was already displeasing enough — but to hear they might never return at all was something he had not even considered. His expression twisted despite himself.