Chapter 159

“Why…?”

He couldn’t make sense of it, though part of him had believed the man cared in his own twisted way. Even as he asked, Jaeha wasn’t shocked like before; perhaps because there had already been a time when the man had tried to kill him.

“To clear.”

It was the boss who answered—brazen, considering he was the one who had forced them to come inside together.

“If I’m dispensable, why did you ask me to come with you?”

“No. You’re necessary.”

“…You chose the clear over my life.”

It felt wasteful to spend these five minutes on this conversation.

“Do I… mean anything to you?”

But he couldn’t help asking, wanting to know what lay inside him.

“Well. It’s better for you not to know how I think of you.”

He smiled slowly.

“And even if the ‘Jaeha here’ disappears,”

“……”

“I can just start over with the ‘Jaeha there.’”

He jerked his chin toward the left-hand gate.

Gooseflesh rippled over Jaeha’s skin. He forced his stiff neck to turn toward the gate. White light flickered there, vivid. “The Jaeha there”? The past version of himself?

“As long as it’s you, I don’t care which you.”

As his gaze brushed the gate, the corners of his mouth lifted.

“A child, an old man, now or far later.”

“……”

“Broken or shining.”

Would he really take that child—ignorant of everything—and start it all over?

Jaeha already knew. The game in the boss’s illusion had taught him well. If something changed, then the “Jaeha here” and the “Jaeha there” were wholly different beings. If he had believed them the same, he could never have won against the boss’s game.

But the man did not think so. He sorted him simply into Jaeha 1 and Jaeha 2. As long as it was “him,” nothing else mattered.

“Baek Beomwoo. Your turn.”

Time was short. The boss called him. Baek Beomwoo glanced at the boss, then turned back to face them. They weren’t close, and Jaeha had no desire to let him come any closer.

“Boss…”

“……”

“You’re insane.”

Jaeha replied very slowly, very low, like someone lifting a foot off a landmine. The man snorted, then turned silently away.

He had likely read refusal in Jaeha’s words—and accepted it without regret. No—more precisely, he had swiftly let go of “the Jaeha in this world.”

He was going to meet a new Jaeha now.

“Boss.”

“……”

“Do you…”

Jaeha couldn’t finish. He hadn’t decided what to ask. It was like last time. What had he asked then? “Do you want to sleep with me?” But now, he wanted to ask something else.

Do you love me?

“Yeah.”

Ridiculous though it was—he answered positively even without the question spoken, still facing away.

Then, standing before the gate, he added—like an afterthought:

“Control and suppression didn’t work, so I’ll try a different method.”

“……”

Jaeha’s face twisted. He sounded as if switching strategies in a game—callously ignoring the years Jaeha had been “trained” under him, never once considering Jaeha’s position.

“For reference, Jaeha.”

He turned his head at the gate. Backlit by the glow, wind from beyond ruffled his hair. He tilted his head slightly.

“I don’t regret anything I’ve done.”

“……”

And he meant it. If he went back, he would repeat the training and the pressing down.

“Didn’t work, so try a different way”?

Even if he chose another way, it would be a lie.

“He would, though.”

His eyes—so black that even light couldn’t pierce—rolled indifferently. At those words, Aiden’s face twisted at once.

And with that, the boss turned back to the gate beyond, like a man sure his desire lay on the other side.

Jaeha knew this was the last of him.

That was the end.

“……”

“……”

After Baek Beomwoo left, only silence settled between the two.

He had thought it would take a lifetime of effort to escape the boss’s shadow—yet with the man gone first, the shadow evaporated, and a strange feeling rushed in.

“……”

“Jaeha-ssi.”

He had been staring, numbed by unreality. At the voice calling him, he turned a beat late. As he turned, a faint shiver rose on his skin—freedom’s touch felt unfamiliar.

“Yes…”

“……”

“…Aiden-ssi?”

He finally saw Aiden’s face. He looked pained.

“Are you… okay?”

Was it because they hadn’t been able to treat the injuries? First aid had been done, but the pain must be sharp. Jaeha reached to check on him gently. Aiden, brow furrowed, chewing his lip, spoke slowly.

“I hate that it’ll look like I’m admitting it just because that bastard said it—but…”

“……”

“Baek Beomwoo is right.”

“…About what?”

Aiden raised his unbroken arm and cupped Jaeha’s cheek, carefully—skin not quite touching, just the warmth brushing like a tickle.

“I have regrets.”

“……”

“Really—damn it. I regret everything.”

“…What do you regret?”

He couldn’t bring himself to fully touch; he clenched his fist and let his hand fall.

“From the start…”

“……”

“I should’ve been honest.”

Jaeha didn’t use his power. Unlike before, when he couldn’t control it, now he could—and…

“…If I had, maybe I wouldn’t have crossed a line.”

“It would’ve been better than deceiving you.”

“……”

…He didn’t want to use it.

“I admit I was a bastard.”

“……”

“I knew how you felt and still toyed with it. I knew it was wrong, but I just—acted however the hell I wanted.”

He had heard apologies like this before. But this time, Jaeha chose to receive it differently.

“Am I… worth that much?”

Had he ever had reason to apologize? Why be sorry? He’d only done what he had to… It wasn’t a crime; it wasn’t evil… He now realized why he had thought this for so long.

Because he hadn’t believed he was worth it.

“Is that even a question?”

“……”

“Good lord, Jaeha-ssi.”

Aiden let out a hollow laugh. The smile that had climbed honestly fell apart, and the laughter faded.

“I love you, Jaeha-ssi.”

“……”

“Damn it, I love you so much. I really… really love you.”

He hesitated, then reached—though, for all the fierceness in his voice, his fingers only caught the sleeve, timid. He ducked his head, a tiny, wet sound escaping him.

“Are… are you crying?”

“Just read me.”

“Lift your head. You’re really crying…?”

“I know I’ve acted like an idiot till now. But just once—trust me and read me. You’re the only thing in my head right now.”

“……”

He obeyed, lifting his head. Tears brimmed—unlike before, he wasn’t using them. It was obvious he was fighting hard not to cry.

Jaeha reached out and, with his sleeve, gently wiped them away.

“…Did you read it?”

“…No.”

“You don’t believe me? It’s real. Really… it’s only you in my head; I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“…You’re already a little crazy.”

“That’s a separate issue.”

It didn’t fit the moment, but a smile tugged at him; he held it back. He spoke carefully—because he thought he understood.

“So… is this because you want me to go with you?”

‘I’ll be brief.’

‘Come with me?’

Was he afraid Jaeha might be swayed by the boss’s offer?

Jaeha breathed a soft laugh, ready to reassure him there was no need for such worry. He opened his mouth—

“No.”

Aiden answered firmly, honest despite the pain. The unexpected answer blanked Jaeha’s mind.

“My confession doesn’t come with conditions. I’m not going to say, Since I like you, come with me.”

“…Then what?”

He spoke very slowly, with difficulty—and his voice was gentle, and sad.

“Go.”

The words turned Jaeha’s mind stark white.