Chapter 157

“…H-how? How did you know?”

His father knew he was going to die. How could he have known? Was it because Jaeha had acted too awkwardly? Had he shown the mark of someone raised without parents? Had his own foolishness given it away? Jaeha did what he always did—blamed himself.

“Jaeha. Let me ask just one thing.”

But he couldn’t avoid his father’s gaze. With a softened brow, his father smiled. He slowly cupped Jaeha’s cheek, and Jaeha clung to that touch like a lifeline.

“You said you played a game with the boss. Where did you play it?”

“…In the illusion the boss showed us.”

“What was that illusion like?”

“It was good.”

Confused, he still answered honestly. Meanwhile, the boss called another name. Thankfully, it wasn’t his father. He faintly heard someone step through the gate.

“In that illusion, was I alive?”

“……”

Jaeha didn’t answer. His father smiled faintly.

“You did well to choose to leave it. Brave of you.”

“…I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”

“Why didn’t you settle for it? Why did you wake up?”

Even as Jaeha rambled, his father pressed on, steady. Jaeha couldn’t predict or understand where this was going, but he answered anyway.

“Because I knew it was fake.”

“Isn’t there more than that?”

“……”

Jaeha shut his mouth, bewildered. He couldn’t tell what his father wanted to say.

“Even with me there, even with your mother there, it wasn’t only ideal, was it?”

“What… are you trying to say?”

“Jaeha. I’m a clumsy father; I don’t know how to say this. But listen, will you?”

“……”

He cupped both of Jaeha’s cheeks. Only then could Jaeha really see his face.

It was his father. But young. Thirty years old—his own age now.

Fear and worry shadowed his features. The hands on Jaeha’s cheeks were cold with tension, trembling slightly. The way he forced his lips into a small smile was plainly meant to soothe the other—even though he was just as afraid.

Jaeha wondered suddenly—did he inherit his own timidity from his father?

“Jaeha. I’m going to try not to die. Who wants to die and leave behind a five-year-old son?”

“……”

“I don’t know yet how I die, or why. But I heard that you’ve lived blaming yourself for our deaths.”

Jaeha’s face twisted; he almost understood now. Who had told him? Aiden-ssi? The team leader? Or… the boss?

Even so, that gentle hand kept stroking his cheek, filled with affection and endless love.

“That ‘strange thing’ you said earlier—it was probably the cause. Your mother and I made a choice because of those words, and that led to our deaths. Right?”

“……”

“That’s all I need to know.”

“…Why? Can’t I tell you more?”

His father shook his head, letting his hands fall from Jaeha’s cheeks to rest on his shoulders.

“If you go back outside the gate—and nothing changes—and your mother and I still aren’t there, you’ll blame yourself again. I know you will.”

“For just that…?”

“It’s not ‘just,’ Jaeha.”

His voice trembled a little, but he spoke as always—calm and grave.

“Because your mother and I failed you, you’ve probably already lived your whole life burdened with self-blame.”

“……”

“Even though your mother and I are only remnants in your past—you still couldn’t let us go. You couldn’t look ahead.”

Firm as it was, that voice shook slightly, and it still felt like a pillar.

“Maybe we became your mire. Maybe you missed happiness because of us. We can’t let that go on.”

“……”

Jaeha lost his words. He couldn’t muster the strength to open his mouth, let alone deny or agree. What his father said felt true—and felt false.

“So if you go out of the gate and don’t see us again…”

“……”

“That’s because your father was stubborn. Not because of you. Understand?”

“Father.”

Another name was called. Someone stepped through the gate. Panic pricked Jaeha.

“Jaeha. Your mother and I won’t just leave you behind and die. We’ll try to live.”

“……”

“But even if I fail, I won’t let your life fall apart. Understand?”

Is this the resolve all parents carry? No—he knew it wasn’t always so. Jaeha was a grown man who had lived twenty years alone. He had met all kinds of people. Look at Esper Kim Ji-won’s parents—he knew how harsh they were.

So this was…

“Be happy even without us. Do whatever you want. Even with regrets, keep looking forward.”

Live the way you want. Don’t let them pull your strings. If it’s Jaeha, he’ll help with anything.

Words only true love could say.

“Your mother and I will be watching you, wherever we are. I’m always on your side.”

Live however the hell… however you want.

What is a life? What do we want for those we love? The answer was clear. To live freely, happily, as one wishes. As the words he’d given to Aiden came back to him, filled with love meant only for him, Jaeha fell silent. He read, in them, love and worry meant just for him. His eyes burned; he couldn’t stop the redness from rising.

“……”

Tears fell hard, blurring his sight. With so little time left to look at his father, even the act of crying felt wasteful. He scrubbed at his eyes with his sleeve, but the sobs escaped anyway.

“I love you, son.”

His father pulled him into a full embrace. With a voice edged by tears, he murmured and squeezed tightly.

Jaeha held him with all his strength—but a heavy premonition seeped in that regret would remain, in some form, no matter what.

“I love you too.”

He cleared his tightening throat and spoke, to shave away even a little of that regret.

“Truly…”

And as he murmured that, from far off came the boss’s cheerful call:

“Song Juhyuk!”

The moment of parting had come at last.

His father stepped into the left gate. After him, people began to pass through one by one.

Sadly, about half of the Past Team weren’t mentally sound. Each time the boss called them, someone nearby would take their hand and help them into the gate. Blank-eyed, Jaeha watched it all and rested his head on Aiden’s shoulder beside him. Now that Aiden was an adult again, his shoulder sat just a little higher than Jaeha’s—easy to lean on.

“Is it very hard?”

“…I’m okay.”

His eyes were swollen, embarrassing, but he had no room to care. It still didn’t feel real—that he had said goodbye to his father like that.

“Do you think he’ll succeed?”

“He will.”

“……”

Aiden reached his unbroken arm to smooth Jaeha’s tousled hair, then spoke gently.

“If he isn’t there… we think like this.”

“…How?”

“You know the parallel universe idea? In movies—when someone goes back to the past and changes something, the original world stays as it is, and the timeline just branches, so there’s another world.”

“……”

Unfamiliar, but not incomprehensible. Did such things exist?

“Try trusting your father once.”

“…Okay.”

Jaeha swallowed a sigh and smiled awkwardly.

“It’s taking a long time. I just want to go home and rest.”

“Right. Now… let’s see…”

How many were left? He turned his head, scanning the surroundings. About four hours had passed since people began to leave; maybe around twenty remained. He hoped his name would be called soon—but he didn’t want to leave Aiden behind, so he didn’t mind waiting.

“Hmm…”

Aiden, also looking around, now frowned slightly, unlike Jaeha. Jaeha glanced at him.

“What is it?”

“…It seems espers are going out first.”

“…Are they?”

Was that a problem? Looking around, he saw that, indeed, more guides and ordinary staff were waiting than espers. Then his gaze snagged where Aiden’s had—

Only one esper remained watching the boss’s party: Esper Choi Mi-ae.

“……”

Their eyes met; she gave him a small wave and smile. He waved back—and a bad feeling crept in. He thought:

If Esper Choi Mi-ae is called before the boss or Seo Tae-geon—

If all the combat-type espers leave first…

Would they be left here with the boss—with no one to keep him under control?