AAGULT Ch 120

Chapter 120

“Aiden… Aiden-ssi? Are you crying?”

Jaeha was unusually flustered. He had seen him cry a few times before, but usually… it was in a way that resembled a character out of a shoujo manga—no, like a female protagonist. He would cry prettily, letting teardrops fall like beads.

But this time…

[God, I look hideous right now. Shit…]

“I only want to guide you, Jaeha-ssi. I’m good at guiding, aren’t I?”

[I seriously look awful. How do people even cry prettily again?]

“You like my guiding too, don’t you…? Then why are you trying to send me to someone else? Are you sick of me? Do you hate me now?”

His scattered thoughts overlapped with his spoken words, and Jaeha had to slowly decipher each one.

Jaeha was at a loss for words, but he first reached out stiffly to wipe Aiden’s face. Aiden quickly tilted his head and leaned his damp, clammy face into Jaeha’s hand. With his thoughts pouring out and shared, it was clear just how hard he was trying to appear beautiful in front of Jaeha.

[I have to look good. Song Jaeha likes pretty things. Fuck, my face must be so fucking puffy right now!]

“…You still look beautiful.”

“Liar…”

He sniffled. The way he turned his head to hide his swollen eyes made Jaeha’s heart ache a little.

“I mean it…”

“Then why are you trying to send me to someone else?”

“It’s not that I’m sending you… um, it’s just that you should respond to the request, whether you accept it or not.”

He explained calmly, patting him gently to soothe him. He carefully brushed aside his hair. Judging from how red and swollen his eyes were, he must’ve been crying for quite a while—how did he manage to cry so silently that he hadn’t noticed until now?

“…Jaeha-ssi, are you mad? I’m sorry.”

“I told you, you don’t have to apologize. I’m not mad.”

Even when Aiden offered an incoherent and contextless apology, Jaeha calmly responded, which only made Aiden’s face crumple even more.

“…It’s been days since I last got guided by you.”

“Hmm…”

They used to live together, so Aiden had received small bits of guiding every day. But now, it had been quite a while since the last time. In truth, it was ever since “that incident.” Sure, they’d both been busy, but this was still an unusual situation.

“You used to call me every day, cling to me, beg me to guide you, beg me not to guide anyone else, and even say you wanted me so badly that you might rape me…”

“Uh, um, sorry?”

“Don’t apologize—just actually do it!”

Wouldn’t that be kind of problematic, though? Aiden hadn’t forgotten a single word Jaeha had said during the guiding compatibility test and repeated it all back now. Feeling slightly embarrassed and awkward, Jaeha gave a sheepish laugh and apologized again, which made Aiden snap with a choked, indignant reply.

[Ugh, fuck. Why is everything I say coming out so childish? Do I look like a goddamn kid right now? How do normal people even talk?]

But for some reason, it didn’t come across as annoying or ridiculous. Jaeha, having read Aiden’s thoughts, gave a breathy chuckle. Compared to how perfect and kind he had seemed at first, or even how slightly annoying he’d become midway through their relationship, Aiden now seemed childish… but also cute. Jaeha felt a faint pang of guilt, wondering if it was wrong to think someone panicking was “cute,” but regardless, he couldn’t help it.

Still, maybe it was because he’d seen it all that he couldn’t help but think this:

…What if this is also part of some kind of honey trap? That unavoidable suspicion.

Because, as he’d thought before, Aiden had no real reason to be so desperately attached to him. From the association’s point of view, Jaeha was already a spent resource. He had nothing more to offer in terms of testimony about the director. He had already given nearly everything as a sample for developing a cure for the suppression drug. And although his ranking had started to recover, he was still just a mediocre Esper compared to Aiden.

“…Did I make you angry by yelling? I’m sorry.”

Aiden had raised his voice out of frustration, but seeing that Jaeha didn’t respond, he immediately slumped and glanced nervously at him. Jaeha silently stared back.

He really had no reason to be like this.

“I’m not mad.”

[He looks mad. What do I do? I’m really such a piece of shit…]

“I’m really not mad.”

“Jaeha-ssi, your ability is sometimes really uncomfortable.”

Now that he could read thoughts even without seeing eyes, it was pointless for Aiden to bury his face in the blanket and groan. And Aiden, who knew that, muttered to himself, prompting only one response from Jaeha. He rolled his eyes and said it again.

“…Sorry for reading your mind.”

“No? Please read it. Please, read everything.”

As if he had never buried his head in the blanket, Aiden abruptly lifted his face and replied. Jaeha gave a faint laugh at that and, at the same time, felt a twinge of discomfort. Still, after finally having something resembling small talk for the first time in days, it was easier to bring up the real topic.

“Well, um… about the guiding request. It’s not really something I have the right to intervene in. I think you should just do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“……”

Back to the main point—when Jaeha calmly brought it up again, Aiden fell silent. His expression made it obvious what he wanted to say. It screamed, “Does it really not bother you?” Jaeha pretended not to notice, then slowly let out a sigh.

Even though he had understood and accepted what Aiden had done to him, it was undeniable that their relationship could no longer be the same. Because now, he had begun to view Aiden’s actions with suspicion. Was that really sincere?

And once a crack like that formed between two people, he knew pretending not to see it wasn’t the answer. But Jaeha avoided confronting that crack—because he was afraid it would hurt too much.

He knew what Aiden wanted. Aiden had always hoped to be in a romantic relationship with him, and Jaeha—who instinctively knew Aiden didn’t truly love him—had always rejected that.

Now that he finally understood Aiden’s reasons and motivations… was dating him supposed to help the association’s agenda somehow? Or was there another goal entirely?

Whatever the case, Jaeha had tried to ignore it—afraid that getting involved would only leave him more hurt. But if it was starting to affect his reality this much… then he could no longer turn a blind eye.

Jaeha scratched his cheek, feeling a bit awkward.

And then, almost impulsively, he asked,

“…Do you want to date?”

He’d lived a life so unlucky he’d never even had a proper relationship. He had no plans to act coy now with someone he’d already guided multiple times. But he had wanted his first relationship to begin from a place of mutual affection. That’s why he kept turning Aiden down… but at this point, did it even matter? So even though it was an impulsive question, he didn’t try to take it back or regret it. He just calmly waited for a response.

“……”

It was a sudden confession, and Aiden was dumbfounded. For a moment, he couldn’t comprehend what he’d heard and blinked, his mouth falling slightly open in shock. Jaeha had never seen that expression—or emotion—on him before. That shocked look stayed for just a moment before a faint smile tugged at Aiden’s lips.

Then Jaeha read his next thought.

[I’m screwed.]

“……”

[Fuck. I’m fucked. Seriously fucked…]

It was a startling reaction from someone who’d repeatedly begged to date him. Yet Jaeha didn’t feel particularly hurt or disappointed by it.

His first thought was simply, Of course.

Aiden did think he was seriously fucked.

There was a time when Aiden thought it might be nice to get a confession from Song Jaeha. But not a confession like that.

Aiden had grown up a clever, cunning child. He instinctively understood others’ psychology—and knew how to use it. Life had been easier that way. With looks and abilities to back it up, things had always gone his way, and it became second nature to manipulate others without guilt.

Song Jaeha was no different.

An Esper who was kind of cute and decent-looking.

A guy with a good enough face.

Maybe worth dating once?

That was all. So he had tried to seduce him—and, like always, it hadn’t been that difficult.

…Was that the problem?

“…Do you want to date?”

Aiden was good at reading people—and their intentions.

He also knew Jaeha well. If Jaeha were genuinely confessing, he would never have worn that expression. He would’ve trembled, turned red with embarrassment, and if he were overwhelmed, he might’ve even shed a tear. He might’ve shut his eyes tightly, unable to look at Aiden directly. He was old-fashioned enough that he might even prepare a flower, offering it with trembling hands.

“I’m screwed.”

That’s why this confession from Jaeha… could only have come from someone who had zero trust in him.

Jaeha’s face wasn’t red. It was calm overall, with a faint smile tinged in resignation—far removed from anything resembling romantic excitement.

It was no different from saying: “I know you don’t like me. So if you’re going to keep bothering me, just take this and get lost.”

“Fuck. I’m seriously fucked…”

Aiden’s face went pale.

He couldn’t accept this confession. If he did, it would be the point of no return in his relationship with Jaeha. The moment he accepted, Jaeha would think, “See? I knew it,” and swiftly sever whatever feelings he had left.

He briefly considered accepting the confession and trying to seduce Jaeha all over again from within the relationship. But the moment he had that thought, he knew he had to abandon it.

Jaeha was kind and hated hurting others—but he was also firmly gentle. The moment Aiden accepted, no matter what feelings Jaeha might still harbor, he would eventually convince himself: “Yeah, he really was that kind of guy.” Shit, Aiden had thought that kind of resolve was sexy just a few days ago—he hadn’t expected it to come back at him like this.

But not accepting the confession would complicate things too. What would Jaeha think if he got rejected?

Then again, Aiden didn’t even get to make the choice.

“Um, forget what I just said. I’m sorry.”

“……”

And just like that, Jaeha, who had apparently read Aiden’s most recent thoughts, said it with an awkward expression. Aiden had no reply. If he was going to read minds, he could at least read all these tangled subconscious thoughts too. Just picking up the obvious ones felt unfair and infuriating.

Aiden had truly met a formidable opponent—so much so that he didn’t know what to say. His mind went completely blank.

As Jaeha got up to leave, Aiden reached out and grabbed him again. His hand trembled. He hadn’t let himself get swept up in emotion like this since elementary school. He felt utterly stupid.

What was he supposed to say? I love you? He wouldn’t believe it. Aiden wouldn’t believe it if he were Jaeha. Please, just trust me? Who the hell would trust a scammer…

In the end, the only thing he could say was:

“…Get guided before you go.”