AAGULT Ch 23

Chapter 23

 

“…….”

“Jaeha.”

He opened his eyes at the call. The man was right in front of him. Normally, when someone gets that close, their flaws become a little more noticeable and they stop looking so good—but it was strange. Do Guides just not have any blemishes? Once again, Jaeha was captivated and answered back.

“……Yeah.”

“You’ll see me on Christmas, right?”

“Yeah…….”

He ended up replying automatically, giving the answer the man wanted, before coming to his senses. Huh, wait…… He didn’t exactly have other plans for Christmas, but he hadn’t meant to just let it slide like this either.

Not that he disliked the idea of seeing him on Christmas enough to correct himself. Quite the opposite—that was the problem.

Jaeha’s resigned expression contrasted starkly with Aiden’s satisfied one. The man, still holding onto Jaeha’s new scarf, wrapped it snugly around his neck and tied a knot. For a scarf, it was tied quite tightly, making him feel oddly choked, but Jaeha didn’t loosen it. His heart was already pounding, blood rushing to his face—he didn’t have room to worry about the pressure.

“Here, your hand.”

“…….”

Like an obedient dog, Jaeha placed his hand atop the one extended toward him. Still, he was careful—conscious of the possibility that Aiden might guide unintentionally, or that a radial guiding might touch and pull energy from him—so he made sure their skin barely touched.

The man stared at that hand for a moment, then lifted the corners of his lips before suddenly grabbing it firmly.

“……!”

Then, he guided.

It wasn’t like the gentle peace offered by radial guiding. No, this was something done with clear intent—a deliberate pushing of that peace deep into Jaeha’s body. His eyes widened in shock.

“E-Aiden……!”

“Yes~”

“This… this is guiding……!”

But how could he dare to shake off that hand? All he could do was grip it tightly, his expression slightly twisted in discomfort, silently begging him to stop. However, rather than letting go, the man intertwined their fingers even more deeply.

The soft webs between their fingers touched. Aiden was wearing gloves, so the smooth, hard texture of leather rubbing against his sensitive skin felt strange. He was thankful it wasn’t bare skin. If it had been, and the guiding had come through direct contact—along with the visual stimulation—he would’ve truly lost his composure.

His disrupted wavelength, weakened days ago by a certain ‘contact’ with Aiden, had healed surprisingly quickly today. Whether it was because he’d stuck close to him for several hours, or because of a kiss and a held hand—his heart pounded from the terrifying sensation of his wavelength cracking back into place. Though… was it really fear? Not excitement?

“Guiding… Isn’t this hard for you too, Aiden……?”

He shut his eyes tightly. The nausea from the aftereffects of overdose suppressants brought his mind back into focus. He tried to pull his hand away, he had to. He was a frail Guide, someone who had just been threatened by a big, scary Esper. If he started longing for Aiden’s touch in this state……

“Don’t avoid me.”

“…….”

Aiden, sensing exactly what Jaeha was thinking, gave a soft warning with a faint smile.

That one sentence made Jaeha freeze. The little strength he’d gathered quickly melted away. He could only stare at Aiden in bewilderment.

“I’m doing this because I want to guide.”

“…….”

A flood of thoughts and emotions drifted through Jaeha’s mind. Most of them were learned fears and anxieties.

I shouldn’t be doing this.

I’m not supposed to be receiving guiding.

What if the boss finds out……

Jaeha had always been unlucky, and so he could only think in those terms. You can’t crave ice cream in the summer if you’ve never even tasted it before. If you’ve never had anything sweet—never even sucked on an ice cube during summer—you wouldn’t know to want it.

Was this all just a test I brought on myself by wanting too much?

But the funny thing was, once he crossed the line, he didn’t want to go back. Jaeha rationalized to himself.

There’s no way the boss would find out. He wouldn’t be back for several months at least. The assistant director, who visited occasionally, was an ordinary person who couldn’t sense things like guiding or wavelengths.

And, coincidentally, he’d met Aiden at a time when he was reaching his limit. He couldn’t endure it anymore. Why else would he be doing this? Despite his loyalty and affection for his boss—despite pushing down the guilt of his own crimes just to stay in that shelter—if this much wasn’t okay, then what was?

This much… should be fine, right?

“How often do you usually get guided?”

“……I’m F-rank, so, um, once every three months…….”

“You should go more often.”

How often do F-rank Espers normally get guided? He’d taken a guess at a reasonable interval—and still got this kind of response. Apparently, they received it far more frequently. For some reason, he felt unfairly treated.

They moved away from the crowded street to a small corner beside the stall where they’d bought the scarf. It was cold, noisy, and chaotic with people, but paradoxically, for Jaeha, this was the calmest and most peaceful place he could be. To an outsider, it probably just looked like two men holding hands—odd maybe, but nothing attention-grabbing.

Unlike that first time he’d touched Aiden, guiding no longer felt scary. The torn and burnt paper of his psyche began to stick back together, returning to a blank white sheet. It tickled and made him nauseous, but also—suddenly—made him incredibly sleepy.

“Ugh……”

“You’re a little sleepy, huh? Your wavelength’s twisted. You shouldn’t skip visits to the guiding center just because you’re busy, Jaeha.”

“Yeah…….”

He wanted to lean on him.

He had always lived relying on someone, so he knew he had no expectations for his own life—but suddenly, he wanted to bury his face in Aiden’s shoulder. Even if it was shameless, this was too much. Jaeha was ashamed of himself.

He hadn’t seen Aiden for a few days, and his fingertips had already begun to ache—but now, warmth was returning. At that very moment—

“……W-Wait.”

Instead of peace and comfort, a cold shiver ran down his spine. He squinted, then tightly shut his eyes. He tried to let go of Aiden’s hand, but paradoxically, his grip tightened.

“We’re almost done. Your wavelength’s just unique, so it takes time to absorb.”

“No, it’s not that……”

Thinking it was just another of his usual protests, Aiden responded with a gentle voice, trying to calm him.

Jaeha began to tremble. Cold sweat trickled down his back.

[I want a bunny plushie. Will mom buy it?]

[Why isn’t Jisoo here yet…]

Something was wrong. Even though his eyes were shut, the noise was so loud it gave him a splitting headache. Unlike the voices and music of the street, these were voices that pierced directly into his mind—undoubtedly his own ability.

[Ah, f**. I just wanna go home.*]

[Crap, the manager’s calling again…]

This wasn’t normal. Why could he hear them? His head throbbed. He scrunched his face and shut his eyes tighter. It hurt. It hurt bad. A different kind of pain than when he vomited from suppressant side effects or got hit by the assistant director. He couldn’t even scream. His whole body shook violently. His grip on Aiden’s hand tightened painfully—but strangely, Aiden didn’t flinch or say a word.

“Ugh……”

Then, suddenly.

All the pain vanished.

So abruptly it was almost absurd—like cotton candy dissolving in water, gone in an instant.

And everything became quiet.

He couldn’t hear anything at all.

“Haa……”

The moment his body returned to normal—aside from the lingering suppressant aftereffects—his ears, which had been briefly resting, came back to life. The sounds of the street rushed back in. It was like being pulled out of water, and his mind snapped awake.

Jaeha gasped for air, completely dazed. What just happened…?

He was confused. His jaw ached—he must’ve clenched his teeth. He slowly opened his eyes. And there, he met Aiden’s gaze.

Aiden was smiling calmly.

“Ah.”

Jaeha came to his senses and hastily pulled his hand away. He even forgot to step back. His face paled in embarrassment.

“S-Sorry. Did that hurt a lot?”

Are you crazy, Song Jaeha? You saw how scared he was earlier, and now you’re doing the exact same thing. You’re supposed to protect a Guide, not attack him. He wanted to check Aiden’s hand, but he was afraid that reaching out might scare him even more. He couldn’t do anything.

“It’s okay.”

“……I’m glad……”

“I’m used to it.”

“…….”

It was an answer that pierced his guilt straight through. Even the relief he was trying to feel stabbed him like a giant thorn in the chest. He wanted to cry, but he didn’t deserve to—so he bit down on his lip.

“……I’m sorry.”

“Haha.”

Aiden stepped forward and grabbed Jaeha’s hand, who had stepped back. As if to say, don’t run. He pulled the hand toward himself and pressed it to his own cheek. The soft and tender skin on his cheek made Jaeha tense up.

Aiden rubbed his face against the palm, then looked up at him. In dramas, it was always the female lead who looked at the male lead with this expression. The eyes between those neat lashes were beautiful. If he were more eloquent, if he were a little smarter—could he have described that face better?

“If you’re sorry, do me a favor.”

“…….”

Every time he spoke, his breath touched Jaeha’s skin. It tickled. He suddenly became very aware of the scars and calluses on his unremarkable hand and felt embarrassed.

“I will……”

How could anyone say no to that face? His voice trembled—not sure if it was from nerves or excitement—as he answered, and Aiden whispered gently.

“Don’t go to the guiding center anymore.”

“……”

“I want to be the one to guide you, Jaeha.”