AAGULT Ch 31

Chapter 31

 

Even the hospital’s designated visiting hours were, in truth, under the sway of authority. Though they acted kindly, there was an undercurrent of pressure that even Jaeha could sense, making him all the more conscious of their presence for some reason. If they thought poorly of Aiden, he felt he might be a little sad.

“Well, um… then…”

But they acted as if they weren’t exerting any pressure at all. Maybe he was just overly self-conscious and imagining it. Whatever the case, they were left alone in the hospital room.

With the soft click of the door closing…

Jaeha tensed.

“……”

“……”

What… what should he say? In truth, he had only intended to confirm with his own eyes that Aiden was safe, apologize, and leave immediately. But after hearing what could only be taken as a confession—not directly, but clearly enough—his mind had gone blank, and that plan was ruined.

“Um…”

“Jaeha.”

“…Yes.”

He had opened his mouth to say anything, but at the sound of Aiden’s composed voice—its hint of sadness now gone—he immediately shut it again. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Aiden’s face, only staring at the IV needle in his arm. Somehow, it looked a bit… a bit thinner than the last time he had seen it. He must have had a hard time inside the gate… Of course, Jaeha had no way of knowing that Aiden had deliberately worn a loose hospital gown to appear more fragile and had not eaten properly inside the gate either—and he would never find out.

“Look at me.”

“……”

“Yes?”

“…Yes.”

Because Aiden spoke so gently, as if coaxing a child, Jaeha lifted his eyes with difficulty. For someone who had just realized he was in love, it was quite a feat.

Their eyes met. Maybe it was because his mental fatigue had lifted, or because he desperately wished to read Aiden’s heart—he wasn’t sure—but he could see Aiden’s thoughts.

[So cute…]

“……”

Jaeha wanted to squeeze his eyes shut. Aiden, please, just be quiet. Well, he was being quiet, but his thoughts were loud and embarrassing.

“I missed you.”

“……”

“Did I do something wrong? I waited that time…”

“Th… that…”

December 25th, Christmas, and the Christmas market they had visited a few days before flashed before his eyes. The sparkling scenery, the soft green muffler, the way Aiden had guided him with his hand… Jaeha hesitantly clasped his own hands together.

“There were… circumstances. It wasn’t really your fault, Aiden.”

“I see.”

With that downcast reply, Aiden gave a faint smile. He reached out and placed his hand over Jaeha’s. Gently, he patted it. Only then did Jaeha realize just how tightly he had been gripping his own hands and slowly relaxed his fingers.

“Am I… a burden to you?”

“……”

“What I said earlier, I hadn’t meant to say it like that, but it’s all true.”

His mind went blank. If Aiden were just a normal person, hearing those words might have made his heart flutter. But Aiden was a member of the Association, and Jaeha was a criminal.

Moreover, he was not someone worthy of Aiden. Their relationship had begun with Jaeha coveting Aiden’s guiding abilities—he was just like the other espers that Aiden feared. He couldn’t understand why Aiden had confessed to loving him in the first place. But asking why wouldn’t change anything.

He had to reject him.

“…I’m sorry.”

Even if he loved Aiden, he couldn’t recklessly accept that confession. In this situation, dating was out of the question. And most of all, Aiden deserved someone far better than him.

He very carefully, slowly removed Aiden’s hand and gently laid it back on the sheet. It wasn’t the injured arm, but it was the one bruised from the IV being pulled out earlier, so he had been extra cautious, not wanting to cause pain.

“I just… don’t think of you that way, Aiden.”

He didn’t have the courage to look at Aiden’s face, but to give a sense of sincerity, he lifted his head. Their eyes met.

[Lie.]

“You’re lying.”

Aiden said exactly what he was thinking. He gave a faint smile, scrunching his nose slightly. Then, turning his head as if in denial, he spoke again, causing his fine hair to brush lightly over his eyebrow.

“…It’s true.”

“Then why did you kiss me that time?”

“……”

Jaeha knew all too well which moment Aiden meant. When Aiden had said, “Because I like you, Jaeha,” and wrapped that worn scarf around him, Jaeha, flustered and unsure of what to do, had mustered up his courage and kissed Aiden’s lips. The bustling noise of the Christmas market, the vivid touch of winter air—it all came rushing back.

…Right. What was he supposed to say? “I did it because I like you too.” That wouldn’t do. “Because I was drawn to your guiding ability”? God no, he didn’t want Aiden associating his fears with Jaeha.

“I just… uh, like kissing.”

“Oh…”

In the end, a truly trashy excuse stumbled out of his mouth. Aiden bit his lip with a hurt expression. Jaeha clenched his fist, unable to respond.

“I see.”

“……”

“I see…”

A chilling silence filled the room. Aiden muttered as if coming to some realization, and Jaeha, giving up on escaping the room, braced himself to hear the conclusion—like a sentence being handed down in court.

“Figures.”

“……”

He laughed quietly. Though there was a smile in his voice, it was unmistakably pained.

“Jaeha, when I asked if we were lovers or just sex partners, you immediately denied the first.”

“……”

Wait a minute… something’s off…

“So it’s not me you like, but sex with me, huh.”

“W-What…?”

Why was the conversation going this way? Jaeha felt a chill, like he’d been caught in a trap. Forget that Aiden was hurt—if this kept going, the topic would take a turn for the worse.

“Hold on…”

“Then let’s just do that.”

“What?”

Before he could regain control of the conversation, Aiden defined their relationship like a judge handing down a life sentence to a criminal. Jaeha had no say. And truthfully, he didn’t want to end things with Aiden either.

“I’m good at it.”

“I know—no, that’s not the point.”

“Ha.”

Aiden laughed. Then he reached out and gently cupped Jaeha’s cheek. His hand was cold. Come to think of it, he’d forgotten to close the window. Aiden was injured—what if he caught a cold…?

Because Aiden had suffered from lack of guiding while Jaeha was gone, even though they weren’t guiding right now, the residual scent felt like it was seeping in through the touch. Without thinking, Jaeha tilted his head slightly, as if to follow it. Since his boss couldn’t read guiding completely, he didn’t feel too guilty about this reaction. Though… if he let his guard down too much, he’d get caught eventually…

“Sigh…”

Suddenly, sleep washed over him. Jaeha realized, a bit belatedly, that he had only slept nine hours in the past week. His whole body felt heavy, and he wanted to lean into Aiden’s touch. He tried to stay alert and moved his eyes around. Looking into Aiden’s eyes, he saw his thoughts—not just heard, but saw them.

[Should I just push him down right now?]

“……”

[He seems like he’d fall for it if I played it right…]

He’d felt it the other time, when Aiden had pulled him into an alley—no matter how sweet or gentle he looked, the guy was still a pervert… How could he be thinking this even in a hospital room… Jaeha, lost in that thought, suddenly realized Aiden’s face was much closer.

“Too… close.”

It wasn’t just the gentle brush of fine hairs; he could actually smell the guiding scent—dense and intoxicating—so he couldn’t pull away. Speaking those words in a small voice was the most resistance he could manage.

Aiden replied,

“I know.”

Their eyes met. Jaeha saw himself—not his reflection in Aiden’s eyes, but the version of himself that existed in Aiden’s imagination, unfolding before him like a vision. On his knees in the alley… in front of Aiden…

He couldn’t read any further. His ears burned. He remembered the painful stretching of his throat, the small tear at the corner of his lips. His neck began to ache.

“Ugh…!”

Maybe Aiden took his closed eyes as permission, because he tilted his head and pressed his lips down. The soft, smooth touch sparked a flutter in Jaeha’s stomach. Though Aiden’s lips were cold, somehow they made him feel hot and flustered.

Smooch, smooch…

It was a gentle, respectful kiss, reminiscent of their first. But Jaeha, knowing how rough Aiden could become, stayed stiff with tension. Last time, he had focused on the guiding sensation that physical contact brought—but this time, the sheer fact of sharing skin made his heart pound so wildly that he couldn’t even register the guiding traces that seeped in like mist.

Aiden parted his lips slightly and licked Jaeha’s dry lower lip. Then, he slowly slipped his tongue inside, and things turned rough.

His tongue couldn’t possibly be larger than that, and yet having someone else’s tongue in his mouth felt like he had to open his jaws wide enough to ache. As his brows furrowed instinctively, Aiden’s cool hand left his cheek and gently cradled the back of his neck, fingers curling to stroke the skin and raise goosebumps.

“Haa, ha…”

“Breathe through your nose, I told you.”

When Jaeha gasped for breath after they parted, Aiden laughed and teased him. Jaeha felt wronged.

“I was nervous…”

He slowly opened his eyes, which he had shut tight. There was a strange pressure tightening around his neck, so he had to straighten up a bit more. Their eyes met again. He saw Aiden’s thoughts—no, he saw them.

He was already lying facedown on the hospital bed… crying loudly, his face flushed…