BW C166
by berryChapter 166
Without even a momentâs hesitation, Taemuk continued walking and soon arrived at an unnamed mountain stream. The roar of the rushing water was as loud as thunder.
He set Hoeun down on a rock, then crouched before the stream and began washing his hands. Perhaps because he had carried Hoeun all the way here, the hole in his palm had already healed halfway. There was no blood left. Once again, it was a moment that made one keenly realize just how extraordinary an iin(guide)âs presence truly was.
Hoeun sat neatly on the rock and waited for Taemuk, a handkerchief embroidered with flowers resting in his hands. It was meant for drying Taemukâs hands.
âHaahâŠâ
As he gazed at the forest blanketed in white, Hoeun let out a sigh. Not long after, he sighed againâthen once more. Taemuk frowned and turned back toward him.
âWhy do you keep sighing?â
âWell⊠I was thinking that finding the shikgoeâs stronghold wonât be easy.â
At that, Taemuk gave a short scoff.
âDid you think it would be easy? If it were somewhere easy to find, theyâd have been wiped out ages ago.â
ââŠThatâs true.â
It was surely hiddenâdeeply concealed, somewhere extremely secretive. He understood that well, yet disappointment was unavoidable. He felt impatient, wanting to find it as soon as possible. Even at this very moment, countless people were surely being killed or injured by shikgoe. Only by eradicating the stronghold could the day come when everyone might live freely.
Hoeun lightly kicked at the snow with the tip of his foot, lost in thought over how one might locate the shikgoeâs base.
Shikgoe couldnât speak, so capturing and torturing them would yield nothing. There were no villages or people nearby to question, since this was an area where shikgoe appeared in unusually large numbers. Antennae only revealed intelligence levels, not the location of a stronghold. Ah⊠if only it were possible to secretly follow oneâŠ
ââŠOh.â
Hoeun abruptly lifted his head.
Follow them?
Yesâwhy not follow them? Their stronghold would be their home. Surely they would return there eventually. For instance⊠when their lives were in danger, when they were left alone, or when their leader was killed and they lost all controlâŠ
When the antennaed shikgoeâthe leaderâwas slain, the others froze briefly like stone, then fled. And where would they flee to? Naturally, home. Their stronghold.
Hoeunâs eyes rolled rapidly as he turned to Taemuk.
âGeneral.â
âWhat.â
âHave you ever tried following a fleeing shikgoe?â
âNo.â
âI suppose notâŠâ
At Taemukâs curt reply, Hoeun nodded as though he had expected it. Jeokudae killed every shikgoe they couldâthere was likely never a chance for any to escape.
Then what if they let them escape? And followed them?
At last, having found a possible answer, Hoeun slowly lifted the corners of his mouth.
âThat wasnât an option back then.â
Taemuk added the strange remark.
âYou mean⊠you didnât have the strength?â
Hoeun frowned. Lacking strength hardly suited Taemukâa man who crushed shikgoe skulls with his bare hands.
Yet Taemuk continued evenly.
âYou werenât there.â
ââŠWhat do you mean?â
âWhen you werenât with me, I wasnât as strong as I am now.â
ââŠReally?â
Hoeun leaned forward unconsciously. A weak Taemuk was unthinkable. From the very beginning, Taemuk had always been strongâto Hoeunâs eyes, impossibly so. He had lifted Deok-u with one hand, shattered walls barehanded, pinned house-sized shikgoe to trees. The idea of a âpowerless Taemukâ sounded as absurd as a moon rising at noon or a sun shining at night.
âThatâs right. I couldnât even chase fleeing onesâthere were times when I had to run instead.â
ââŠâŠâ
âIâve crawled across the ground with my arms and legs severed.â
ââŠâŠâ
âThere were times I had to flee, leaving my dying subordinates behind.â
Taemuk spoke of horrors with unsettling calmâhis voice even laced with a faint trace of amusement. Blood diffused through the stream water like a mirage, yet his expression as he watched it remained unreadable.
ââŠâŠâ
Hoeun held his breath. His chest throbbed as though someone had stomped on it. Even imagining Taemuk with severed fingers was unbearableâarms and legs torn away was beyond that. His eyes squeezed shut on their own.
Then Taemuk suddenly withdrew his hands from the water.
âBut after I met you, shikgoe started dying with a single punch.â
ââŠâŠâ
âThe exhilaration I felt thenâŠâ
As if reliving it, he clenched his fist. The large hand curled tightly; the hole that had once pierced it was now reduced to a faint scar, veins bulging prominently across the back. It was unmistakably a hand of iron.
âThat was the first time I ever laughed while fighting shikgoe.â
Taemuk gave a short, crooked smile and finished washing his hands. When even his nails were clean, he stood and walked naturally toward Hoeunâexpecting him to dry his hands.
But Hoeunâs expression had darkened.
âAh⊠back thenâŠâ
He was recalling that moment. It must have been in the bamboo grove. He had seen Taemuk smiling while killing shikgoe. At the time, drenched in blood and smiling, Taemuk had seemed disturbingly strange. Hoeun had even wondered if he was addicted to killing, if the rumors of him being a bloodthirsty madman were true.
But it wasnât that.
He had been stronger.
He could kill shikgoe easily.
He could avoid being hurt.
He could protect the soldiers of Jeokudae.
Realizing this made Hoeun feel deeply ashamed of his irreverent thoughts.
How foolish, how immature he had been.
His eyes darkened. He couldnât bring himself to face Taemuk, head drooping as guilt weighed on him.
ââŠâŠâ
Taemuk watched him silently, biting his lower lip at an angle before releasing it. He scratched the back of his head roughly, then clenched and unclenched his handâmirroring Hoeunâs self-reproachful stillness.
An odd silence settled between them. Then a cold wind swept past, brushing them both harshly, and only then did Hoeun realize Taemuk had finished washing his hands. He should have taken them alreadyâbut heâd spaced out again.
âIâll take your hand.â
Hoeun stood and absentmindedly braced himself against the rock. The thick layer of snow collapsed inwardâ
Prick!
A sharp pain pierced his palm.
âAhâŠâ
Caught off guard, Hoeunâs shoulders flinched.
âWhat is it?â
Taemuk was instantly before him. Hoeun looked down. A small, sharp stone was embedded in his palm.
âI was pricked by a stone.â
He said it calmly and pulled it outâbut it was sharper than it looked. As soon as it came free, a bright drop of blood welled up. Hoeun neither grimaced nor complained. He merely lowered his hand, expression still.
Taemuk, however, grabbed it abruptly and brought it close to his own face to inspect.
âYou should be more careful.â
âItâs nothing.â
âHow is this nothing? Youâre bleeding!â
Taemuk snapped, brow furrowing deeply. Hoeun stared up at him.
ââŠâŠâ
This man who spoke so casually of losing limbsâwho had just had his palm pierced by a fangâwhy was he angry over something so small?
Embarrassed by his own minor wound, Hoeun tried to pull his hand back.
âIâm really fine. First, your handââ
âStay still.â
Taemuk tightened his grip, then took the handkerchief from Hoeunâs other hand and carefully wiped away the blood. The white cloth stained red at once. Though only the edge was marked, Taemuk frowned as if it were drenched.
Hoeunâs wound looked unbearably painful. Noâit was painful. It felt as though a blade had been driven straight into Taemukâs chest.
Such a wound on such a beautiful hand.
A stone piercing it.
Blood spilling.
I shouldnât let him sit on rough rocks again. I should just hold him. Carry him. Keep him close.
We should hurry backâshow it to the physician, apply medicine, give him decoctions, lay him down in a warm room to restâ
Taemuk stiffened.
ââŠWhen did this hand become so precious?â
When had it become something to be spared, cherished, mourned?
Back then, he had handled it so carelessly.
Why only nowâdid he harbor these feelings?
Taemuk adjusted his grip on Hoeunâs hand, eyes still fixed on the wound.
âHoeun.â
ââŠYes?â
At the sudden use of his name, Hoeunâs eyes widened. Taemuk did call him that sometimesâbut only occasionally. Why nowâŠ?
Hoeun looked up at him, wide-eyed. Taemuk licked his lips, tension evident.
âBack then.â
ââŠBack then?â
âWhen we first met.â
âAh⊠yes.â
In an instant, the faint warmth lingering on Hoeunâs cheeks vanished. Memories surgedâof the Inyeonje ritual, the hotel, the tent, the forest, the newly arrived encampment. Countless momentsâcountless pains.
He had desperately pretended not to know, not to remember. Why bring it up now?
Hoeun found that time uncomfortable. Taemuk, bringing it up now, was uncomfortable too. His gaze wavered, unable to settle.
âIâŠâ
Taemuk began, then stopped. He swallowed once, then continued.
âIâm sorry⊠for hurting you.â