BW C222

Chapter 222

It would have been right to take better care of them, but Jeokudae was scheduled to leave this place at dawn tomorrow, so they couldn’t just leave them behind. They had to escort them to a nearby town, and that task was assigned to Gilsang. While he was there, he also needed to warn the town to prepare for a possible Shikgoe attack.

Hoeun greeted Gilsang as well.

“Please be careful on your way, Sergeant.”

“Yes. I’ll see you soon.”

“And Seongim, please take care too.”

“……”

Seongim, standing beside Gilsang, gave a small nod.

Then Hoeun stepped toward the Mongolian people gathered behind them. He unfolded a sheet of paper he had prepared in advance.

[Please travel safely. I’m sorry we couldn’t take better care of you.]

The woman holding her daughter read it, then smiled softly and bowed. The other Mongolians also bowed deeply. Hoeun bowed in return.

And just then—

“The gates are opening!”

A soldier guarding the gate shouted.

At once, Byeonguk, Gilsang, Seongim, the Mongolian refugees, and the other soldiers assigned by Taemuk hurried out through the gate.

Thud-thud-thud.

Thud-thud-thud-thud.

The sound of hooves echoed loudly, and the Jeokudae flag and the Taegeuk flag fluttered wildly in the wind.

Hoeun stood still, quietly watching their backs until the gates closed.

“Haah……”

Staring at the lantern flickering as if it might go out at any moment, Hoeun let out a deep sigh.

Lost in heavy thoughts—no, worries—he didn’t even realize how loud that sigh was. So he exhaled again.

Then suddenly, the thick arm wrapped around his waist tightened.

“Can’t sleep?”

A deep, low voice vibrated against his ear.

Startled, Hoeun flinched and shrank his neck.

“Ah, you’re awake? I’m sorry. I’ll sleep now.”

He quickly shut his eyes.

But instead, Taemuk opened his.

His dark eyes were clear and sharp—as if he had never been asleep at all.

He turned Hoeun’s body to face him. Hoeun slowly opened his eyes again.

“What’s wrong. Are you hurt?”

Taemuk placed a hand on his forehead, checked under his nose for blood, and even pulled down his lower lip to see if he had mouth sores.

At the busy inspection, Hoeun let out a soft laugh.

“No. How could I be in pain when I’m held by you like this?”

He wriggled closer into Taemuk’s arms.

Taemuk naturally slid his arm under Hoeun’s head as a pillow.

“Then why can’t you sleep? You need rest. We leave early tomorrow.”

“I think my thoughts are… tangled.”

“What’s bothering you?”

“……”

“Are you worried we might lose? That our country might fall like the others?”

“…Yes.”

Hoeun nodded faintly.

Anxiety and fear swirled heavily across his face.

Seeing that, Taemuk narrowed his eyes slightly.

Then Hoeun asked in a trembling voice,

“That won’t happen… right? Jeokudae is strong…”

“It won’t.”

Even with Taemuk’s firm answer, Hoeun couldn’t let go of his worry.

After sighing several times, he stared blankly at Taemuk’s throat and spoke.

“I feel like I’ve lived very foolishly.”

“Why?”

“Before becoming a guide, I never even feared the Shikgoe… I barely thought about them. I only lay around sick all day, lamenting when this useless body of mine might ever become useful.”

He lightly ran a hand down his thin arm.

Taemuk didn’t agree or deny it—he simply pulled the blanket up over him.

“How could someone like that have ever worried about the country?”

“……”

“Even when Wei fell, when Qing fell… I never once worried about ours.”

Hoeun continued in a dry tone, then suddenly looked up at Taemuk and smiled faintly, his eyes curving. He slowly traced down Taemuk’s broad chest.

“Of course, it’s also because we have someone as strong as you, and Jeokudae protecting the country… but also… Hanyang was always peaceful, the walls were strong, there were many people… I had never even seen a Shikgoe… So, shamefully, I never thought about such things.”

At that, Taemuk’s lips curled slightly.

When he lived in the town, when he feared the young masters more than Shikgoe, he too had never thought about the country or monsters.

Back then, he was young—but even if he had grown up there without Shikgoe ever appearing, he would likely have lived with thoughts not so different from Hoeun’s.

“Most people are like that.”

“……”

“That’s why we fight—so they can live that way.”

Taemuk murmured, brushing his thumb under Hoeun’s eye.

Hoeun smiled faintly and rubbed his cheek against Taemuk’s palm.

Taemuk pressed his lips gently to Hoeun’s forehead.

“Are you really that afraid of the country falling?”

“Yes. I’ve never once imagined a world where the country disappears.”

Hoeun’s eyes trembled like the lantern flame.

Taemuk lowered his head and met his gaze.

Then, in an unwavering voice—

“It won’t disappear.”

“……”

“I’ll save it. This country.”

“……”

“If you want it, I could save it ten times over.”

“……”

At that, Hoeun blinked rapidly—then suddenly burst into soft laughter.

“Truly… if anyone else said that, I would think it empty arrogance. But when you say it… I feel at ease.”

Hoeun leaned into Taemuk’s chest, pressing his forehead against the firm, warm body.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The steady heartbeat echoed through him.

Taemuk gently stroked the back of his head.

Then, staring at the lantern behind Hoeun, he murmured softly,

“If it’s a country you’re in, then I have to save it somehow.”

Even if it’s a country filled with cruel nobles, where the lowly die every day—

“If it’s a country you cherish.”

Even if it’s a country that never cherished me—my body, my soul—

“I’ll save it.”

If you’re there.

If you care for it.

If you want it—then I can save it, no matter what.

He buried his nose into Hoeun’s hair.

Then he felt it.

A faint tremor.

The breath against his chest grew damp.

Frowning, Taemuk gently lifted Hoeun’s face.

As expected—his eyes were reddened, shimmering with tears.

“Why are you crying?”

“Ah…”

“Hoeun.”

At the low, gentle voice, Hoeun’s lips trembled. His lashes lowered heavily.

Taemuk looked at him with quiet concern.

Then Hoeun spoke in a strained, halting voice—

“When I think about you getting hurt again… suffering again… bleeding again… it feels like my heart is tearing apart.”

Even when he tried to believe they could win, one thought always tangled his mind—

How much would Taemuk have to suffer for that to happen?

How much blood would he have to shed?

He had already seen enough blood to fill a sea.

How much more would there be?

How much more pain would he have to witness?

It was terrifying.

There was no other way.

And that made it even more tragic.

“I wish you wouldn’t get hurt… I wish you wouldn’t shed even a drop of blood… but it feels impossible… like the country can only survive if you do… It feels like we’re trading your body to stay alive, and that makes my heart—”

His words broke apart.

Hoeun lowered his head.

Guilt and anguish clung to him like grime.

As Taemuk reached out to brush it away—

Suddenly, Hoeun lifted his head sharply, his voice tinged with something almost unhinged.

“Should we run away?”

“…What?”

“Let’s just run. Somewhere no one knows… just the two of us.”

His eyes shone, as if it were a brilliant idea.

“……”

Taemuk stared at him quietly.

His lips curved slightly—but his eyes were shattered, clouded like muddy water.

So Taemuk smiled—on purpose.

Because he knew exactly what Hoeun needed.

“You don’t even want that.”

“……”

“You wouldn’t be happy even if you ran.”

“……”

“You’re not that kind of cruel young master.”

Taemuk pinched Hoeun’s nose lightly and shook it playfully.

That was the trigger.

Hoeun’s stiff, unnatural expression slowly crumbled—then completely collapsed.

The dam broke.

“Uwaah…!”

Hoeun cried bitterly, pitifully.

His face crumpled, reddened, soaked in tears.

Taemuk pulled him close and patted his back.

“I don’t feel pain. When you’re here, I don’t feel anything.”

“General…”

“Even if this body tears a hundred times—what’s a few more?”

At that, Hoeun’s eyes snapped wide open, and he quickly covered Taemuk’s mouth.

It was improper—but he couldn’t bear to hear it.

“Don’t… don’t say things like that. Please…”

Tears streamed down his face as he spoke.

And somehow—he looked both heartbreaking and unbearably adorable.

Taemuk smiled, kissing the tips of the fingers covering his mouth.