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    Chapter 11

    A lie. Na Seonwoo sensed immediately from the trembling voice, the shifting eyes, the restless hands—every part of him betrayed the flimsy falsehood. The whole body was giving it away.

    Go Igyeol could not hide his unease and agitation. With a face that looked as though he might faint at any moment, he begged Na Seonwoo to pretend he didn’t know, and Na Seonwoo kept answering, nodding again and again as he promised.

    “All right. Okay, okay—are you okay?”

    “

”

    “You look really pale. Were you scared? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I swear I won’t.”

    Na Seonwoo repeated the same reassurance until Go Igyeol’s expression loosened a little.

    “Want some water? Warm water. Barley tea is okay? Or just filtered water?”

    “Cold water is fine. Sorry.”

    “Why are you apologizing? I said it’s fine.”

    Go Igyeol kept clutching at his hands as they grew colder, unable to let go—they trembled too much. He avoided meeting Na Seonwoo’s eyes for fear his anxiety would show.

    “They say if you’re pregnant you should keep getting pheromone showers. Wouldn’t it be better to tell him soon?”

    “My spouse gives plenty of pheromones, so it’s okay.”

    His voice quavered. This might actually be true. What overwhelmed Na Seonwoo was not the faint omega scent but the thick alpha pheromone that seemed to mask everything else. While trying to parse truth from falsehood in Go Igyeol’s words, Na Seonwoo found himself unable to ask why he was so desperate to hide it. They weren’t that close—if he pressed too hard, he worried Go Igyeol might never want to see him again.

    “Aren’t you just throwing up from something you ate?”

    “No. I was just startled.”

    “You know, I liked you before. You had no idea, right?”

    Trying to lighten the mood, Na Seonwoo blurted the unexpected confession and Go Igyeol snorted water out of his mouth. Na Seonwoo’s face was splattered and soaked by the sudden spray. Embarrassed, Go Igyeol fumbled and grabbed a tissue from the table to wipe his friend’s face.

    “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean—why would you say that
?”

    His small hands were busy, patting at the wet spots and murmuring apologies. Na Seonwoo couldn’t hold back his laughter; he bowed his head, shoulders trembling with suppressed chuckles.

    “I was afraid I’d never tell anyone if I didn’t say it. But actually, it felt good to say it aloud.”

    “Really
 sorry. I honestly didn’t know.”

    “I figured as much. You can’t expect the other person to know; that’s how unrequited feelings go. They never know unless you decide to tell them.”

    Hearing that, Go Igyeol looked at him, relieved that Na Seonwoo wasn’t upset at being ignored. He didn’t seem to resent the unreciprocated feelings, which put Go Igyeol at ease.

    “Now that you say it, I guess that’s true.”

    “Huh?”

    “The other person never knows. I’m soaked. What am I going to do
?”

    Worrying he might catch a cold, Na Seonwoo, who had been smiling, suddenly spotted the owner approaching with a tray of udon and became flurried.

    “You two are so engrossed you might not even notice if one of you dropped dead while eating.”

    “Isn’t that a bit frightening?”

    “Anyway, try it and you’ll see.”

    As Na Seonwoo had promised, the udon was delicious, and Go Igyeol was able to eat without trouble. The noodles had a pleasant chew and bounce, and the broth was exquisite. Having been unable to eat properly for a while, Go Igyeol buried his face over the bowl and slurped the noodles hungrily.

    “Is it good?”

    “Yeah, it’s really
 really good.”

    Na Seonwoo’s eyes went wide—he hadn’t expected Go Igyeol, who’d been struggling with morning sickness, to be able to eat so well. Go Igyeol chewed with his cheeks puffed out like a squirrel stuffing its cheek pouches full of acorns.

    “Want me to order another bowl?”

    Before Na Seonwoo could finish asking, Go Igyeol nodded. Na Seonwoo couldn’t stop smiling. The complimentary pumpkin tempura was all devoured by Go Igyeol as well.

    “Are the fried things okay?”

    “Yeah, they’re really good. The best I’ve had in a while.”

    “Good. I was worried you wouldn’t be able to eat.”

    “
Thank you, really.”

    Wiping the gloss of oil from his lips, Go Igyeol offered his thanks. He’d worried the udon would be ruined if the kitchen suddenly closed, but that anxiety was needless. Seeing Go Igyeol ready to tackle a second bowl, Na Seonwoo was surprised, felt sorry for him, and—unable to help himself—said softly,

    “You’re so cute.”

    That should’ve been the end of it, but Go Igyeol knew he shouldn’t harbor feelings like that for this person.

    “Sorry, I just ate so much.”

    “No, it’s nice to see you eat. Want more?”

    It was remarkable that two bowls of udon could fit into that small belly. Go Igyeol rubbed his mouth and shook his head gently.

    “No, um—no, I’m full. Really.”

    “You don’t look full. If I hadn’t stopped you, you’d have eaten the bowl too.”

    At the tease, Go Igyeol flushed and refused, insisting he was fine. After checking he’d rinsed his mouth with water a couple of times, Na Seonwoo finally stood up.

    “Let’s go.”

    “Um
”

    “There’s a coffee shop in the next building that’s really something. The beans are amazing. The desserts are good too.”

    Na Seonwoo steered the conversation away and smiled. Go Igyeol offered to pay, but Na Seonwoo snatched out his card first.

    “After coming all this way, I’m not letting you buy anything. I’ll get the coffee.”

    “Thanks, I really enjoyed it. But aren’t you going back late? It’s past one now
.”

    Go Igyeol checked the time. Na Seonwoo reassured him that it was fine—he was alone at the office and the paperwork was nearly done—then opened the door.

    “Take care, come by again, Seonwoo’s friend.”

    “Thank you for the meal.”

    “Hyungnim, I’m heading out! I’ll be back later!”

    In the short time it took to descend the stairs, Go Igyeol heard that-style of “be careful” a dozen times, then headed to a non-franchise coffee shop with Na Seonwoo. The sign—CAFE. GAUDIUM🌿—was pretty in green on white. He realized, watching people leave the udon shop clutching coffee cups, that the drinks had been from this very place.

    “Hello, do you have decaf?”

    “Oh? Hello! Wow, I don’t think I’ve seen you during the day before! You mean—your udon place is open during the day?”

    The man, putting cakes into the showcase, straightened and beamed. He seemed amused by Seonwoo’s presence and greeted him warmly.

    “Nice to see you in the daytime, Seonwoo.”

    “Same here. Do you have decaf?”

    “Of course. But Seonwoo, don’t you usually add an extra shot?”

    “No, it’s for my friend. He can’t have caffeine.”

    Only then did the barista seem to notice the slim figure behind Na Seonwoo; his eyes widened and he bowed, cheeks reddening.

    “Sorry, I was spacing out.”

    “No problem.”

    “What’ll it be?”

    “I’ll have a latte. Warm.”

    Na Seonwoo turned to choose and nodded when he saw Go Igyeol’s choice.

    “Then I’ll get something cold—an iced Americano.”

    “One decaf latte and one iced Americano, right?”

    “Yes, that’s right. Here.”

    Just as Na Seonwoo offered his card, Go Igyeol’s hand flew out and covered it. His small, pale hand overlapped Na Seonwoo’s.

    “I’ll pay. Here.”

    The barista’s gaze shifted to Na Seonwoo, who was flushed to the tips of his ears.

    “Ah, yes. Since your friend’s paying, please charge it to them.”

    Na Seonwoo stared at the hand on his, tongue-tied. Go Igyeol smiled, relieved he could pay, then looked at Na Seonwoo with a puppy-like, gratitude-seeking expression.

    “Thanks. I’ll enjoy it, Igyeol.”

    “Mm!”

    Na Seonwoo’s arm reached out before he realized it, and his large palm smoothed over Go Igyeol’s soft hair. Between his fingers, those strands felt like silk. Go Igyeol, embarrassed by the brotherly affection, pulled his head back, scratching his cheek and finally asking,

    “Where do you want to sit?”

    “Over there, by the window. I’ll bring the drinks—go and sit. I want to wipe my hands.”

    “All right.”

    Go Igyeol turned and walked lightly; the pheromones riding on the warm breeze from his swinging hair mixed with sweet shampoo scent and made Na Seonwoo wrinkle his nose.

    “Seonwoo?”

    A bright voice cut through his brooding tone.

    “Oh, boss.”

    “This is a cake I made earlier—try it. It isn’t too sweet and it’s really good.”

    “Um
 that’s okay, you didn’t have to—”

    The owner offered the plate with a smile; embarrassed by the refusal, he looked awkward.

    “I can’t put it back once it’s out. I made it to give, plus I want objective feedback
”

    “
Thank you. I’ll accept it this time and buy it next time.”

    With that clumsy excuse of a new menu, Na Seonwoo kept thanking him and then moved toward Go Igyeol. Sitting in the spot bathed in spring sunlight, gazing absentmindedly out the window, made the moment feel unreal in a way that stirred his heart.

    The decaf latte tasted so good Go Igyeol couldn’t tell it from regular coffee. Full and content, and with delicious coffee in hand, Go Igyeol laughed easily at Na Seonwoo’s trivial jokes.

    “Shall we head out now?”

    “You still like going to bookstores?”

    “Huh? Ah
”

    Go Igyeol hesitated. He had loved bookstores—after marriage he hadn’t gone even once. In lean times they were the only place he could visit without money, and they had been a solace: the dry scent of paper, the whispering voices, the rustle of pages. He wasn’t sure if he’d still find it comforting now.

    “Just
”

    “Just?”

    “I haven’t been in a long time.”

    He forced a bitter smile, set the empty cup on the tray, and tidied up his place. He motioned toward the entrance and walked ahead. At the service table he cleared trash and cups, and didn’t forget to thank the owner for the cake.

    “Take care.”

    “See you again.”

    “If you’re free, come again.”

    Go Igyeol headed out, the soft light making even routine moments feel oddly significant as they walked toward the bookstore.

     

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