Divorce Contract C60

Chapter 60

Seo Dohyeon was anxious. There was so much he needed to explain once Go Igyeol woke up, but when he finally opened his eyes, he showed no curiosity at all. He was just the same as before—before he knew everything. If only he would at least pour out some resentment, demanding why such things had been done to him, that would have been better. But now, Go Igyeol looked as though nothing mattered anymore.

“Go Igyeol-ssi.”

His eyes, swollen and heavy, blinked several times as if they felt dry and stiff. Soon, he endured the prickling pain and dryness with practiced familiarity and turned his head toward the voice that had called his name. His eyelids lifted and fell sluggishly. With a thin hand, he rubbed his eyes and parted his cracked lips.

“…When can I be discharged?”

The first thing he asked upon waking was merely about discharge. His body, ravaged by a difficult pregnancy and a premature birth, had yet to recover properly, yet all he wanted was to escape the hospital as soon as possible. He curled into himself, but one foot slipped out from under the blanket, pitifully exposed. Seo Dohyeon’s gaze fell upon the pale toes, and lowering his eyes, he answered quietly.

“Even if you’re discharged, you’ll be going to the postpartum care center.”

“Why would I… go there?”

The chestnut-colored eyes turned to him, filled with a gentle light. It wasn’t sarcasm or mockery, but a pure, honest question. Though the question hadn’t been unexpected, hearing it out loud left Seo Dohyeon speechless. He parted his lips, then ran a hand through his unkempt hair, sweeping it back to reveal his neat forehead.

“I think… we have something to talk about.”

“Talk…? About what…?”

“The child.”

“…Back then, you told me not to even ask whether it was alive, or if it was okay… So why bring it up now, with you of all people? That child isn’t even yours.”

Go Igyeol reacted as though he already sensed what Seo Dohyeon was about to say. He looked at the man sitting upright before him with a puzzled expression. In the past, whenever he faced Seo Dohyeon, he would shrink into himself, shoulders hunched. The memory of that alone made his chest ache.

“I misunderstood at the time.”

“Misunderstood, misunderstood… So what now? What answer do you want from me? Am I supposed to thank you for realizing it even this late?”

His voice carried no tremor, nor did his eyes waver or glisten. The dryness of Go Igyeol’s response left Seo Dohyeon feeling stifled and lost, struggling to gather his thoughts. While he hesitated on how to begin, Go Igyeol pushed himself upright, shaking off the hand that reached to help him, and murmured softly.

“I just… want to go home.”

His voice, utterly devoid of emotion, sounded as though he was sick to death of everything that had happened to him. Seo Dohyeon’s vision went dark.

“The baby… though born prematurely, has no major problems. Its condition is stable. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when you asked.”

“Thank you for telling me now. I’m glad to hear it’s doing well.”

Running a hand through his tousled hair, Go Igyeol gave his answer flatly. That only deepened Seo Dohyeon’s unease. His anxious eyes searched Go Igyeol’s expression. And then, when he called his name again, “Go Igyeol-ssi—”

“…But when did you find out?”

The moment he had been dreading finally came, but the reaction was not what he had expected. Go Igyeol was too exhausted, too worn down to even get angry.

“…The day you were moved to a different ward. I found out then.”

Go Igyeol gave a faint, weary smile. He stared into space for a moment as if counting the days, then wiped the hollow expression from his face and asked again.

“Then how long… were you planning to pretend you didn’t know?”

He hadn’t meant to pretend. His plan was to tell him once his body had recovered. Now, of course, it all sounded like excuses. Still, he had never intended to keep it hidden forever. Just as Seo Dohyeon opened his mouth to defend himself, Go Igyeol furrowed his brow. His pale face and hesitant voice carried an edge of unease.

“…But do you believe the result?”

“……”

“What I mean is, you never believed my words, so why did you so easily believe a piece of paper? Just curious. What if that document had been fabricated too? What would you have done, believing it so readily…?”

It was something Seo Dohyeon never expected him to say in a moment like this, but he realized it couldn’t be delayed anymore. Recalling the countless times Go Igyeol had said such things to him, Seo Dohyeon finally understood what it meant to feel truly shameless.

“It’s my fault. I’m sorry for everything.”

“…Ah. You’re sorry….”

At those words of apology, Go Igyeol twisted his face into a smile. He stared at his ragged, bitten nails, thinking how absurd and out of place those words sounded coming from Seo Dohyeon’s lips.

“Sorry? How sorry are you, exactly?”

“……”

“But then… does saying sorry change anything? If you say you misunderstood, that you’re sorry… does it make it as if none of it ever happened? Either way, it never really mattered to you, did it? Whether the child was yours or not. Honestly, you’re not even truly sorry for me.”

Lifting his gaze from where it had fallen, Go Igyeol locked eyes with him. The soft brown of his eyes pierced straight through, as though seeing his true heart.

“You ask why I didn’t tell you. I had plenty of chances to confess before running away. If I had told you then, this misunderstanding never would’ve happened. I would’ve found a way. Whether I kept the baby or ended the pregnancy, I would’ve decided myself.”

“At the time—”

“You did think it. You thought, why couldn’t he just tell me? Without considering my reasons, you pinned it on me. And you’re right—everything you thought was right. You must have wondered why I would cause all this by choosing to have a child you didn’t even want. So I took the punishment you gave me.”

When Seo Dohyeon tried to explain, Go Igyeol covered his ears. He squeezed his eyes shut, pulled up his knees, and hid his face. Saying it was all just a misunderstanding, apologizing now—it couldn’t erase the cruelty of that day.

“So don’t apologize to me. You’re not that kind of person, are you?”

He lifted his head abruptly, his face contorted in pain as he spoke on.

“You should’ve hidden it to the end, pretended you didn’t know. Why? Now that you know, you’re sorry? When I said it wasn’t yours, you were quick to deny it, but once the baby was born, does it suddenly seem like your child? So what then? What am I supposed to do with that?”

His voice rose, sharp with rage. His small hands, clutching the crumpled blanket, trembled violently. In his bloodshot eyes, moisture slowly pooled. Tears traced long paths down his cheeks, clinging to his jaw before dripping onto his hand.

“Do you know what I feel like right now?”

“……”

“I want to die right in front of you. That way, you’d never be able to forget it. At the very least, every time you remembered me, you’d feel sorry. I’d linger in your mind, in some corner of your heart, as guilt…!”

Breath hitching, Go Igyeol rubbed his parched lips, his trembling hand scrubbing at his tear-streaked cheeks as he blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision.

“But… but I can’t even die. If I die… then I can’t divorce you.”

“……”

“So don’t apologize just to ease your conscience.”

Finally, Go Igyeol let his head fall, muttering that he couldn’t bear it, begging him not to. Seo Dohyeon could say nothing more to someone who so clearly rejected conversation.

“…I won’t forgive you. You told me to do that, remember? So don’t do this to me….”

Dropping his gaze, Go Igyeol buried his face against his knees, struggling to steady himself. As always, he whispered that this too would pass. No matter how hard, every hardship eventually came to an end. Just as he had endured the winter of sixteen when he accepted his parents’ death, so too would his end with Seo Dohyeon come soon.

The papers were all prepared, so it was only a matter of waiting. And waiting—that was something he was good at. If he endured a little longer, it would be over. It was fortunate, at least, that patience and waiting were the few things he excelled at. But the moment sorrow welled up, it broke him down.

“Hhh… hhhk…”

His muffled sobs, caught by the thin fabric, were faint and weak. Even crying silently felt like it was all his fault. Seo Dohyeon, his hand frozen halfway through the air, could only watch as Go Igyeol wept himself into exhaustion and finally drifted into sleep.