Divorce Contract C63

Chapter 63

Seo Dohyeon’s gaze lingered on Go Igyeol, who was scrubbing at his tear-soaked face, when he called his name.

“Go Igyeol-ssi.”

“Hhhu, hhhk… Y-yes, yes…”

Go Igyeol, his hair damp with sweat from his frenzied crying, pushed it back and tried to rise, only to sink back down again. Bracing himself against the floor, he lowered his head. The baby being so small was undoubtedly his fault. He hadn’t eaten, only slept, so of course the child could not have grown properly. He should have forced himself to eat, forced himself to swallow. Why had he refused fruit he had wanted just because of Seo Dohyeon’s insults, why had he so fussily rejected every meal? Those memories scattered through his mind.

Seo Dohyeon, standing silently at his side, kept his lips sealed. When Go Igyeol balled his small fist and pounded his chest as if to punish himself, Seo Dohyeon caught his hand to stop him. Tear-filled eyes turned toward him.

“Hhh, hhhuhhh… Wh-why, why… why are you showing me the baby?”

“I changed my mind.”

“…Changed your… why.”

“If I were you, I’d want to see the baby.”

Seo Dohyeon lifted him upright, brushing the dust from his palm. The hand, reddened from where it had hit the floor when he fell, did not seem in need of treatment, so after looking closely he let it go. Go Igyeol clutched at the spot where Seo Dohyeon had touched and turned his head away. Thick streams of tears slid down from the corners of his eyes.

“That’s all.”

Hearing the calm voice, Go Igyeol thought he wanted Seo Dohyeon to be hurt too, to be wounded even more deeply than he was. He wanted him to suffer worse than he had, to hear insults crueler than those he had endured, to break apart. But that would never happen. Perhaps not in life, perhaps not even after death, would Seo Dohyeon ever understand what he had felt.

“Why did you do it… Why did you do that to me… You told me to have the baby, so why… why didn’t you listen to me then? Did you hate me that much? Was I so loathsome? Still… still, you shouldn’t have done that.”

“……”

“You shouldn’t have… hhh, hhhu, hhuhhh…”

Go Igyeol bowed his head deeply. Covering his drenched face, his body trembled. Wiping the wetness from his flushed cheeks, he moved past Seo Dohyeon. Sniffling, he shuffled toward the elevator, only to suddenly collapse.

“Go Igyeol! Go Igyeol!”

Seo Dohyeon rushed forward, catching his swaying body. Light and limp, his frame hung in his arms. Weakened beyond measure, Go Igyeol had been struck by the sight of his baby in the incubator and fainted from the shock.

IV drips and nutrient bags dangled in clusters from the stand. His arm, thinner than a branch, was mottled with bruises. As Seo Dohyeon let out a sigh and adjusted the blanket over the sleeping Go Igyeol, a phone rang. Looking around the table, he realized it was coming from the drawer, where the phone buzzed insistently.

He checked the caller ID and was about to answer when Go Igyeol stirred awake. Blinking sleep-heavy eyes, he scanned the hospital room, then frowned at Seo Dohyeon.

“Why… why am I here…?”

“…Go Igyeol-ssi.”

“The baby… my stomach feels strange. Why is my stomach—”

Frantically, Go Igyeol rubbed his hollowed belly. Murmuring “oh, oh” in alarm, his hand froze and he quickly sat up.

“The baby, why is the baby… why isn’t it here? Why…?”

“What do you mean? Of course the baby isn’t there—you gave birth—”

“It’s still… still too soon, it wasn’t time yet, why is the baby—”

“Go Igyeol-ssi.”

Seo Dohyeon steadied his trembling body as he rose, lifting his tear-streaked face. He did not touch the drops falling across his cheeks but carefully drew his gaze toward his own. Clouded eyes wavered as if chasing a phantom.

“It’s alright. Look at me.”

“…Hhh, hhhu, hhhhk…”

“The baby was born earlier than expected. We went to see the baby yesterday. Don’t you remember?”

“…Ahh, hhh, ahhh… hhhu, hhhuhh…”

At the quiet reminder, Go Igyeol’s lashes quivered pitifully. Each time his eyes squeezed shut and opened again, fresh tears streamed down. As Seo Dohyeon repeated his words, the blurred pupils slowly cleared.

“Yesterday, we went together. Downstairs, with me.”

“Hhh, hhhu… hhhu…”

Clutching at his chest, his eyes grew clear as if waking from a dream. He remembered the baby he had seen the day before. Crying again, he shoved Seo Dohyeon away as he came closer, pressing his face into his forearm with trembling hands.

Choked sobs spilled out. For a moment, the broken memory reassembled, vivid again—the baby in the incubator. Unlike the soft, rosy infants he had seen in passing at clinics, exuding warmth and a sweet scent, his baby was tiny, thin, and red.

“Hhh, hhhu… wh-why… why, when you said the baby was fine, said it was alright… why…”

Now he might never see the child again. If that was the last time, then the baby would remain forever in his heart as it was in that moment. Why had he been shown such a sight, why condemned to carry that image like a nail driven into his chest for life? His tear-drenched gaze turned on Seo Dohyeon. Too weary even to cry properly, his frail body swayed.

“The baby… the baby isn’t sick, right? Because of me—because I gave birth too soon, it’s all my fault… The baby… the baby’s so small, how… how can it… hhhu, what do I do, the baby… how can I send it away, how can I…”

Clutching at his clothes, Go Igyeol wept. To soothe him, Seo Dohyeon carefully drew him into his arms, wrapping his thin frame in an embrace. Since the birth, it was the first time he had held him close. Beneath the flimsy hospital gown, his back was all sharp bones, so frail he seemed. Held quietly in his arms, crying, Go Igyeol shifted. Kneeling on the bed, he pressed his hands together and began to plead desperately. Even through his sobs, he forced himself to articulate clearly.

“…The baby, can’t I… hhhu, can’t I raise the baby? I’ll never, never come to you again. Hhhhu, I’ll go far away with the baby. I’ll never appear before you again, not until I die. I won’t hold you back, I won’t ask for help. Hhh, ahh, please… please, what… what do you want me to do…”

His desperate sobbing threatened to make him faint again. Seo Dohyeon gently lifted his face and wiped his burning cheeks. Yet each blink brought fresh streams, soaking him anew.

“Go Igyeol-ssi.”

“Y-yes, hhhu, yes…”

“Do you want to raise the baby?”

Eyes blurred with tears fixed on him, waiting breathlessly for his next words.

“I’ll let you raise the baby. On one condition.”

“……”

“There will be no divorce.”

He wished the heavens would fall instead. Exhaling the breath he had been holding, Go Igyeol shut his eyes.

“There is no better environment to raise the child. You know that too, Go Igyeol-ssi.”

“How can you… how can you do this to me… you, how can you…”

Releasing his grip on Seo Dohyeon’s collar, Go Igyeol stumbled back. All his resolve to accept the contract’s terms, to send the baby away and obey, crumbled the moment he had seen the child. He had thought he could do anything, endure anything, as long as it meant being with the baby. His face twisted with shock.

“It’s my child too.”

“How can you—how can you say that to me…”

“There is no other option.”

Rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand, Go Igyeol turned his head. Seo Dohyeon hadn’t even wanted the baby—so why? Was refusing divorce only to punish him? Because he had borne an unwanted child, was he now to be forced to stay, suffering alongside him? Seo Dohyeon was incomprehensible.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“My heart changed. That’s all.”

“……”

Go Igyeol could not answer. Even now, Seo Dohyeon’s voice mocked him, stinging his ears. The thought of cutting off the hand that had touched him flashed across his mind. How could he endure this in his right mind? Waiting only for the day of departure, Seo Dohyeon had instead become another trial to bear.