dreams spun in berries & fluff
    Chapter Index

    Rate on NU

    Chapter 12

    Go Igyeol waved his hand. As Na Seonwoo turned his body toward the office, Go Igyeol watched him for a moment, then stepped onto the crosswalk to cross the street—and suddenly felt an arm grab him. Staggering from the sudden pull, he was steadied by Na Seonwoo’s two hands, and Seonwoo’s lips came close to his ear.

    “If you need pheromones at all, tell me.”

    “
What?”

    “I heard alpha pheromones are essential when someone’s pregnant. But you said you’d keep it secret until it’s stable. If that’s the case, I can help.”

    “
What do you mean by that?”

    The light changed and people began crossing; Na Seonwoo pulled Go Igyeol inward off the curb to avoid them. The stopped cars and the bustling crowds no longer registered—Na Seonwoo’s gaze had been on Go Igyeol and Go Igyeol alone from the start.

    “It’s best to get your spouse’s pheromones, but if that’s not possible
 I heard some people temporarily receive pheromones from another alpha. I might be wrong, but right now you—”

    “Na Seonwoo. Thanks for worrying, but I’ll tell him soon.”

    Go Igyeol spoke plainly, trying to mask the embarrassment that would have shown had Na Seonwoo really known what he was hiding.

    “It’s not what you’re thinking. Seo Dohyeon and I have been waiting for this child too; I didn’t tell him because I’m afraid he’d be upset if anything went wrong. There’s no other reason.”

    “

”

    “We’ll handle our own business.”

    He chose words that would draw a clear boundary to the probing Na Seonwoo; his tone was steady and he showed no tremor or anxious look, so there was nothing for Seonwoo to latch onto beyond his assumption.

    “How many weeks is it now? When does it become stable?”

    “
Huh?”

    “If you still haven’t told your spouse by then, how am I supposed to take that?”

    “What do you mean? I don’t get why you—frankly, how would you even know whether I told him or not?”

    Go Igyeol was bewildered. Hiding it from Seo Dohyeon alone was making his head spin—so why was Na Seonwoo acting like this?

    “How many weeks along are you?”

    “Do I have to tell you?”

    “You don’t want to say? Then I don’t want to keep my promise either. How would I know? I thought your spouse and Seunghui hyung were connected somehow. Does that explain it?”

    Go Igyeol understood, in his head at least, that Na Seonwoo was acting out of concern. But the attitude was intrusive and uncomfortable.

    “Nine weeks. After twelve weeks the risk of miscarriage goes down, so it’s considered the stable period. I’ll tell him then.”

    Go Igyeol answered curtly, as if baffled at why he and Na Seonwoo were having this conversation at all.

    “Take care. See you.”

    “

”

    “See you, Go Igyeol.”

    The light changed, and the strength left Na Seonwoo’s hand. As Go Igyeol crossed the street, hopped into a taxi, and rode back to the parking lot, he sat staring blankly out the window the whole way. How did things get like this? He should have just not eaten earlier—yet the udon had been so good. His thoughts kept skittering off in odd directions despite the seriousness of his situation.

    “Ha
.”

    “Sir? Would you like me to stop up ahead?”

    “Oh, yes. Thanks. Please let me out at the entrance.”

    Go Igyeol paid the taxi driver in cash, thanked him with a small nod, and climbed out, checking the time as he walked into the lot.

    “It’s already—”

    It felt like he’d only just left, and yet the clock had long since passed three. Lately it was as if blocks of time kept being stolen away; hours cleaved off in chunks. He set the heater higher and sat quietly for a moment with his hands on the wheel.

    “What should I do.”

    He leaned on the steering wheel and thought. His mind spun through dozens of plans every day. Should he tell Seo Dohyeon and leave everything to him? Ask Seo Dohyeon’s grandfather for help? No—that would reveal their contract and create more problems. Maybe he should find a clinic that could perform a reversible procedure. His hand rested on his flat lower belly, smoothing over it gently as if cradling something fragile, and he let out a faint sigh.

    There were only reasons not to give birth—yet because it would be Seo Dohyeon’s child, he wanted to keep it.

    “How did you even end up with me
?”

    A melancholy voice filled the quiet space. No matter how he thought about it, there was no answer. He felt powerless; no way he could find to keep them together safely. The udon had been delicious—he’d even wanted to have it for dinner—but the thought felt absurdly out of place.

    That evening Seo Dohyeon came home earlier than he had expected. Go Igyeol, mid-dry of his hair, stopped in surprise when the man passed by with only a wordless nod; then, suddenly, Seo Dohyeon grabbed his arm and turned him around.

    “You said you were meeting a friend.”

    “
Huh? Oh, that Na Seonwoo I mentioned from university—why?”

    “The friend who’s that Seunghui’s cousin?”

    “Yes. Sunwoo. Na Seonwoo.”

    Seo Dohyeon’s head dipped. He breathed in close to the soft scent at the base of Go Igyeol’s neck—still faintly damp from the shower.

    “Was that friend an alpha?”

    “I—I didn’t know his secondary trait, but I found out today.”

    “You smelled like pheromones—didn’t you notice?”

    “To me? Whose pheromones? I washed
.”

    Go Igyeol tugged his T-shirt up, sniffed at it, poked at his wrist and shoulder, checking for any foreign scent. He couldn’t detect anything. Seo Dohyeon watched him with a long sigh, expression narrowed in suspicion.

    “If you look at our contract, there’s a clause forbidding illicit relations. You remember that, right, Go Igyeol?”

    “

”

    “Meeting friends is fine, but only if it’s not that.”

    “It’s not like that. Really. I don’t know why the pheromones stuck, but it’s not what you think.”

    A small hand fluttered through the air, protesting. His lips, his expression, his eyes as he denied it—nothing in them seemed like a lie. Still, Seo Dohyeon didn’t hide his doubt and stared at him.

    “Well, there are stupid alphas who can’t control pheromones.”

    “

”

    “Let’s have Seunghui and everyone meet together next time.”

    “Na Seonwoo?”

    Go Igyeol’s voice rose in surprise. Seo Dohyeon straightened the collar at the back of Go Igyeol’s neck and looked at him, reading the obvious discomfort.

    “Why such surprise?”

    “No, it’s not that
”

    “I’m just suggesting we have a meal together with that cousin of Seunghui’s and your friend from college. Is that so shocking?”

    “Oh
 no, it’s not that.”

    Go Igyeol felt a flush of dread. He was the only person who knew about the pregnancy; the suggestion made him uneasy. What if someone said the wrong thing in front of everyone—what if something slipped?

    “If it’s inconvenient, you don’t have to make time. I’m fine—really, it’s fine.”

    “We’ll all have a meal soon. I’m curious who this friend is that you’re willing to meet.”

    The low, almost chilling tone made Go Igyeol nod before he could refuse. Seo Dohyeon stepped away. “Dry your hair properly,” he said as he turned, and Go Igyeol barely managed to answer, “Okay.”

    Breathing in sharply, Go Igyeol left the dressing room and walked into the bedroom. The wall clock showed there was still plenty of time before Seo Dohyeon would truly be home. As he had for days, he thought of skipping dinner because his stomach felt off—but now that plan had fallen through.

    He tossed the towel that had dried his hair into the laundry basket and headed straight to the dining room. Was there anything to eat? He hadn’t checked the fridge yet. Standing before it with his nose wrinkled, he touched the smart screen and pulled up the inventory note to pick something for dinner.

    From the kitchen he heard a sound that made him poke his head out—and Seo Dohyeon was there. The man frowned at the sight of Go Igyeol bounding toward him and shook his head.

    “I told you to dry your hair properly.”

    “Ah
 did you eat?”

    “No.”

    “Will you eat with me?”

    The question—so blunt and not exactly stupid—brought a cold hardening to Seo Dohyeon’s face. He exhaled in what looked to be annoyance at asking such a thing.

    “Do you want to eat separately?”

    “No? If it’s uncomfortable for you, then that’s fine
.”

    “What?”

    Seo Dohyeon’s curt tone made Go Igyeol flinch. That wasn’t it—this was probably an invitation to eat together. He managed a small, wheedling voice.

    “I’ll prepare something right away.”

    “Don’t make anything. Eat what’s there.”

    “Yes, understood.”

    Remembering how Go Igyeol had once nearly wrecked the kitchen trying to cook early in their marriage, Seo Dohyeon shook his head and left the dining room. From that point, Go Igyeol hurried about: he put the soup from the fridge on the induction stove, laid out side dishes neatly, and set the table.

    He didn’t even open containers of strongly scented items—he put them back in the fridge. He was nervous when he took leftover bulgogi out to fry, but the smell wasn’t offensive this time, and he felt a small measure of relief.

    “Ah, hot—”

    Sauce splattered on the back of his hand while he was frying the meat. Startled, a few pieces jumped off the pan. He stepped back without realizing it, then glanced around sheepishly. He’d only been reheating what was there, but it felt like a commotion. While he thought he should have tidied as he went, Seo Dohyeon walked in.

     

    Note