Divorce Contract C57

Chapter 57

At Seo Dohyeon’s firm reply, Yoon Jaeseon widened his eyes, leaning in as though to question with his gaze what he dared not say aloud. Why was he speaking that way?

“He was born too early, so he’s in the incubator. About this big, I’d say.”

“…Good heavens. That small…?”

Seo Dohyeon measured the size with his hands, recalling the baby’s head that was even smaller than his fist. Even inside the tiny incubator, there seemed to be so much empty space left over. Without realizing it, his brow furrowed. Even in his eyes, devoid of affection, the baby had seemed pitiful. To show that sight to Go Igyeol?

“His arms are thinner than my fingers, with IV needles in them, and since he can’t breathe on his own, he’s been intubated. If he sees the baby like that, won’t his resentment toward me only grow deeper? Call it selfish, but it can’t be helped. It would only shock him more, and then he’ll be reminded why the baby had to be born early in the first place. That will only worsen our relationship.”

“…I don’t know. It’s difficult to judge.”

“And how do you think it is for me, the person directly involved?”

Seo Dohyeon’s face hardened into neutrality. If only he had entrusted Go Igyeol’s words a little more back then—would things between them have been different now?

Both Seo Dohyeon and Go Igyeol withered with each passing day. Sharing the same space, they couldn’t even manage a proper conversation. At times, Go Igyeol would fix his gaze on nothing, suddenly seized with fear before breaking into tears. Even when Seo Dohyeon asked the reason, he never received an answer. All he could do was watch helplessly until the man convulsed and fainted.

Though the time of discharge was approaching, Seo Dohyeon had not been able to tell Go Igyeol that he would be transferred to a postnatal care center, and time ticked by anxiously.

“…No… no.”

That was when a faint voice reached his ears, though his mind was elsewhere while his eyes remained on a tablet.

“Heh, no, nooo…”

Curled up as he watched raindrops fall outside, Go Igyeol clasped his ears and began to mumble. His ear, never free of affliction, was layered with ointment and gauze, yet it never healed since he kept touching it.

When Seo Dohyeon rose from his seat, Go Igyeol shrank further into himself. The hands covering his ears began scratching again, digging back into the scabbed ear canal.

“Igyeol.”

“Hhhhk, nn-no, no, it’s not. It’s not… Huhh, I… I want to wash. I want to wash, huuuh, you keep saying I’m dirty…”

“Who said that?”

“You did. You said I was dirty, Seo Dohyeon. And right now… hhhu, it’s… it’s too much… I didn’t even do anything… hhhk, I’ll wash—I’ll wash, then I’ll be clean? N-no? Then… then what will I do now?”

Pulling away from his grasp, Go Igyeol struggled to get off the bed. Insisting desperately that he had to wash immediately, the IV needle connected to his thin arm came loose. Blood streamed down the emaciated forearm.

“Ah, the smell of blood… this too, this too is filthy, isn’t it? If I wash quickly, then—”

“Igyeola.”

“Hhh, ahh—what do I do, what do I do…”

Staggering back, Go Igyeol dashed into the bathroom before Seo Dohyeon could grab him. From inside, he locked the door, ignoring Seo Dohyeon’s urgent knocking and calls, and went straight into the shower stall.

Stripping off the hospital gown, he turned on the water. A torrent of cold water poured onto his body. Ragged gasps escaped his lips as icy streams shocked his skin. Confused about which way to turn the faucet to bring warm water, he simply let the cascade of cold wash over him.

He squeezed body wash into his hands liberally and scrubbed every part of himself. Arms, legs, torso, between his fingers and toes, even the wounds that never healed. And yet something felt wrong. Though nothing spilled out from within, pain rippled through his belly. Groping at his clenched entrance, he pushed his fingers inside as something warm and viscous seemed to seep out. Leaning his head against the wall, he thought maybe it was better if he just died like this.

“You wear it well—being filthy.”

It was water wetting his face, yet the sensation felt different. Sticky, clinging patches coated his skin, and his eyes refused to open.

“Isn’t it true you like it? Even knowing what’s being done to you, getting hard over it just makes you look cheaper.”

A voice whispered against his ear, yet resounded as if booming throughout the bathroom. The words forced into his ear echoed endlessly, refusing to vanish.

“If you say it’s not, does that somehow make the kid inside you mine instead?”

He had said no—he’d said no again and again. And yet, crouched in the corner under the falling spray, Go Igyeol trembled violently, his face ghostly pale in terror. At some point the rattling at the bathroom door fell silent. Then, in a rush, Seo Dohyeon burst through, finding him huddled in the corner of the shower stall, soaked and miserable.

“I… is the baby—okay? If you just let me raise him… it’s not, not your baby, Seo Dohyeon. Hhhk, it’s not. I didn’t mean that. I was wrong. It’s not…”

“……”

“No, it’s not… It doesn’t seem like it… the baby… the baby… hhuhhh, but—no, I don’t want to know. I’m sorry, I was wrong. Just please, please, don’t tell the baby I’m the one who—who gave birth—”

“Why did you wash with freezing water?”

Shutting off the faucet, Seo Dohyeon wrapped the large towel over his body. He felt frozen through, as if made of ice. Still trembling, Go Igyeol struggled not to touch him.

“When can I—go home? I want… I want to go home. Why am I here? Everyone keeps saying… I’m shameless, asking why I’m still here… Hhhk, please, please send me home. I shouldn’t be here.”

Go Igyeol clutched at Seo Dohyeon’s clothes, muttering apology after apology, dripping icy water. Raising the heat in the room, Dohyeon carefully sat him on the bed and began to dry him off.

Go Igyeol thought it strange—that Seo Dohyeon was drying his body for him. He’d just washed, yet he still smelled something foul. Goosebumps raced across his skin, and almost immediately, itching trickled across his body. Clenching his hands to resist, he finally broke and scratched: thighs, hands, arms, everywhere.

As soon as Seo Dohyeon registered the symptoms, he pulled his hands away. Still damp, Go Igyeol hurriedly threw on his hospital gown. Drops falling from his wet hair soaked the neckline of his clothes through.

His hair should at least be dried. His body was so weakened that even a short while like this could bring on a cold. Seo Dohyeon wondered whether to medicate him preventively when the hospital door suddenly banged open with a thunderous crash. Surprised at the unlikelihood of any visitor at that hour, he turned.

“Igyeol!”

Stomping across the room, a man grabbed at Go Igyeol’s collar without so much as a word, raising his hand immediately. Crack! A palm, massive and thick as an iron pot lid, came down savagely across his small face.

“You! Do you think there’s no limit to shaming your family?!”

Again, crack! The sound jolted Seo Dohyeon to his senses, and he tore the man’s rough grip away from Go Igyeol. Breathing hard, eyes bloodshot, the intruder glared at Go Igyeol. But upon recognizing Seo Dohyeon beside him, his demeanor shifted. He released the collar with a shake.

Reeling, Go Igyeol collapsed weakly to the ground the moment he was freed. His pale face flushed red, blood moistening his mouth and seeping past his lips. Grimacing at the discomfort, he suddenly bled a torrent from his nose.

“What do you think you are doing!” Seo Dohyeon roared.

“I heard from Madam. That Igyeol birthed a child that wasn’t even yours, but another man’s bastard! After such disgraceful filth, how dare he sit here so brazenly! Did I raise you to be this way? Hhhk… I can’t even put it into words!”

“Ah.”

“I can’t even lift my head in shame! I’ll take responsibility on his behalf—so please reconsider the divorce. Please, Director Seo. And you! What are you doing, huh? When you should be groveling, bowing all day long until you collapse in penance! And you sit here, slack— Stand up at once!”

At the thunderous rage shaking the ward, the drained figure of Go Igyeol faltered onto his knees on the floor. Wiping blood from under his nose with the back of his hand, he murmured, pressing his palms together even though he had done no wrong.

“…I was wrong. I… I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

Each sob forced another stream of blood below his nose. His face and hospital gown were drenched in red. Seeing that pitiful sight, Seo Dohyeon desperately wished what he was witnessing wasn’t real.