Divorce Contract C146

Chapter 146

His trembling voice brimmed with anxiety and fear. Seo Dohyeon reached out and gently wiped the corners of Go Igyeol’s eyes before speaking.

“If I hadn’t fallen for you, Go Igyeol-ssi, your life wouldn’t have become this painful.”

“……”

“I swing back and forth dozens of times a day — wanting to cling to you pathetically, then thinking we should separate when I see you hurting. What drives me mad is that I understand everything in my head, but my heart refuses to let go. I like you. Far more than you think. I know my feelings aren’t something you can welcome, and I know I’m shameless. I hate myself for being like this.”

Crushed beneath emotions too heavy to bear, Dohyeon faltered, yet continued speaking, lips trembling. His gaze on Igyeol was unsteady — fervent, like a flame ready to consume. Under the intensity of that gaze, Igyeol could barely breathe; only his lashes shivered faintly.

“…Sometimes, I’d rather die. Then at least I’d remain in your heart forever.”

At such raw sincerity, Igyeol bit his lip hard and turned his gaze aside. It sounded painfully similar to the confession he once made — wanting to die so the guilt would keep him in Dohyeon’s memory. Back then, just seeing Dohyeon had driven him to madness. Now…

He pressed his lips together, searching for words buried in tangled feelings, and spoke haltingly.

“…I resent you, Seo Dohyeon-ssi. I hate you. I’m fine sometimes, but when I remember that time, it becomes unbearable. It hurts. I sink. Even if memories dull, what I lived through doesn’t vanish.”

“Igyeol.”

“I said I wouldn’t forgive you… that I never would.”

At last, tears spilled, falling hard and fast. Dohyeon pulled him into an embrace, thumb brushing the wet tracks on his cheeks.

“You don’t have to forgive me. Hate me for the rest of your life. You’re allowed.”

“Hh— I… I don’t think we’ll ever be happy.”

“……”

“That ‘happily ever after’ stuff… it won’t happen for us. Real life isn’t a fairy tale.”

Hearing those quiet, heartbreaking words, Dohyeon slowly stroked his thin back. His trembling body eased little by little under the warmth of the touch. Dohyeon gently pulled away enough to face him. The soft brown of Igyeol’s eyes shimmered like jewels through tears.

“Give me all of it — your guilt, your regret, even your unhappiness.”

“……”

“Even if it isn’t with me, you’ll be happy. A happy ending doesn’t have to belong to both people.”

If he could stay by Igyeol’s side, it didn’t matter if the world was hell, or if his life was misery. If Igyeol could be happy, he would walk a road of thorns barefoot without hesitation.

“I can take everything. As long as you’re alright, Go Igyeol-ssi.”

“……”

“I will bend however you want. Anything you want.”

Lowering himself came so naturally it was as if he had been born to do it. Dohyeon wiped his tear-streaked face gently, then led him out of the dressing room and sat him down on the bed. Igyeol’s breathing remained uneven, a tremor of sorrow threading through his exhalations. Dohyeon cupped his flushed cheeks; Igyeol’s eyes closed. As the warm pheromones mixed between them, Dohyeon slowly released his own.

His hand framed Igyeol’s small face as he kissed him softly. When his tongue slipped past those yielding lips, brushing fever-warmed inner flesh, Igyeol’s hand clutched the front of his shirt. His lashes fluttered violently, trembling like rippling water. Each sweet, shaky breath that scattered against Dohyeon’s mouth left him aching for more. He bit gently, savoring the soft swell beneath his lips, drawing every drop of gathered warmth and breath. The deepening kiss filled the room with a damp, decadent sound.

Every reason they had come upstairs evaporated. For a moment, it felt as if the world had narrowed to just the two of them. When it became clear this kiss would not end at merely a kiss, Igyeol pushed weakly at Dohyeon’s chest.

“S–stop…”

His trembling hand was so desperate it could barely be called resistance. Dohyeon let him go at once. While catching his breath, he continued to place soft kisses over Igyeol’s damp lips, reluctant to part. Each brush and retreat amplified the longing.

“Hah…”

“…Ihyeon will be waiting.”

“Alright.”

He said so, yet his lips continued to press quick, tender kisses over Igyeol’s face until he finally drew back entirely. Face still flushed red, Igyeol wiped his lips and hurried out of the room as soon as Dohyeon released him.

Left behind, Dohyeon touched his own lips, feeling the lingering warmth. Joy swelled in him like a cloudburst — and yet it felt unbearably sinful.

By the time he cooled his racing pulse and came downstairs, Igyeol and Ihyeon were already ready to go. With Kwon Seunggyu’s help, Dohyeon put on the baby carrier and lifted Ihyeon into it. Even though only his hand had been injured, Igyeol still asked if he was truly alright, worry shadowing his eyes.

“Shall we go to the park we took Ihyeon to last time?”

“Yes — do you think it’ll be cold?”

“It’s warm today.”

Inside the carrier, Ihyeon smacked his lips and looked up at Dohyeon. When Dohyeon tapped his rosy cheek, the child squirmed and let out a tiny “Woo!” Then blinked his big eyes and curved them into crescents. Was this what Igyeol would look like as a baby? It felt unreal — as if Igyeol’s face had been shrunk and placed onto this tiny body.

Dohyeon stepped out first, Igyeol following behind. Dohyeon waited patiently as Igyeol put on his shoes, then opened the door. Feeling Igyeol’s nervous breath behind him, he reached his hand back; after a moment’s hesitation, Igyeol took it. Crossing the threshold, his grip tightened — fear lingering in his fingers.

But outside, nothing happened. The air was calm. The sky was clear. Despite deep winter, the weather wasn’t cold. Looking around at people in light coats, Igyeol remembered the forecast promising warmth all week.

“Are you okay, Go Igyeol-ssi?”

“…Yes. I’m okay.”

Seeing him relax, Dohyeon continued checking on him subtly. On the way to the park, they stopped at a cafe. Standing at the counter, they debated whether to drink inside or take their drinks to go — eventually choosing to drink there so Ihyeon could stay warm. Igyeol sat in a sunny corner while Dohyeon ordered. The peacefulness felt almost strange — new, and precious.

After some time in the warm sunlight, Dohyeon returned with drinks. People stole glances at him — not because they recognized him, but because a tall, striking man carrying a baby was a rare sight. Even Igyeol found it fascinating; one couldn’t deny that Dohyeon naturally drew attention.

“Would you like to sit?”

At Igyeol’s suggestion, Dohyeon tried sitting — but as soon as he lowered himself into the chair, Ihyeon fussed and whined.

“He cries when I sit. Why is that?”

“…Maybe he’s sleepy? Or uncomfortable somewhere.”

Dohyeon brushed tears from Ihyeon’s eyes, heart clenching with every whimper. He soothed him with gentle taps over the carrier; Ihyeon laughed briefly, then immediately began squirming again when movement stopped.

“Maybe he hates staying still.”

He paced slowly — then stopped in front of Igyeol. As soon as Ihyeon spotted him, his lips quivered, and he burst into tears, loud enough to fill the cafe and draw curious eyes. Guests turned to see who the adorable crying baby was.

“Should I take him?”

“No — let’s take the drinks to go. He’s happiest when moving.”

“I’ll grab them.”

Before Dohyeon could stop him, Igyeol hurried to fetch the drink carrier and cleaned their space. The patrons likely wanted to keep watching, but neither father noticed — fully focused on Ihyeon.

The moment they stepped outside, Ihyeon stopped fussing and relaxed against Dohyeon’s chest, pale cheeks soft and calm. His tiny hand groped at Dohyeon’s chest as though searching, then settled at his neck. Only then did he blink slowly, lips working, face scrunching adorably with a yawn before drifting to sleep. Small breaths fluttered warm against Dohyeon’s collarbone.

“Oh — that’s Ihyeon’s habit.”

“A habit?”