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    Chapter 155

     

    After that night, both Seo Dohyeon and Go Igyeol found ease in the way they treated each other. They spent more time together, and even small conversations no longer felt awkward. As winter neared its end, the nights grew unusually long, and with each passing day, the two drew closer. Most nights, Seo Dohyeon slept in Igyeol’s room, though sometimes Igyeol would go up to Seo Dohyeon’s room instead, and they would spend time there.

    Those days felt like a dream. Seo Dohyeon relished the thrill of it all. Hours slipped away without him noticing because he spent the entire day thinking about Go Igyeol. At work, curiosity gnawed at him—what was Igyeol doing right now? He called so often it bordered on clingy, and when they couldn’t speak on the phone, he sent messages instead. Yet even when Seo Dohyeon called once every hour, Igyeol never showed annoyance—only smiled shyly and answered every question he asked.

    Had he eaten, what was he doing now, what he would do next.

    Every time, Igyeol answered sincerely—but what he was doing was always the same.

    —What were you doing?

    “Mm
 just being here.”

    —Just?

    “Yes. Just
 being.”

    Thirty minutes ago, an hour ago—every phone call, he had been “just there.”

    Eventually, “just being” started weighing on Seo Dohyeon’s mind. Even at his desk, in meetings, or during the drive home, the thought lingered.

    He checked if Igyeol was eating, or wanted to eat, but no matter how the conversation started, the answer circled back to the same thing: just being.

    Restlessness crept in—soon joined by unease.

    “Secretary Yoon.”

    “Yes, Executive Director.”

    “What do you do when you rest?”

    “When I rest? I
 just exist.”

    Seo Dohyeon grew solemn at that. What exactly did “just existing” mean? Even Secretary Yoon said the same—so was there some hidden meaning he didn’t understand? He pressed his neatly clipped nails into his palm as anxious fidgeting overtook him.

    “What does ‘just existing’ even mean?”

    “
Sir? What do you mean
?”

    “Literally. I am asking what it means.”

    “‘Just existing’ is
 just being. Does it need to mean something else?”

    The answer was unbearably vague. His gaze sharpened, and in panic, Secretary Yoon began listing his usual days off.

    “Well, uh— I wake up late, wash up
 sort laundry, go out. Sometimes I walk or exercise, or read at a cafĂ© near home. Yes, I eat lunch or meet a friend. I
 just spend time that way.”

    “Then that’s not literally ‘just existing.’ Doesn’t ‘just existing’ mean doing nothing at all?”

    “
Forgive my saying so, but doesn’t ‘just existing’ usually mean you don’t feel like explaining in detail
?”

    The correction made Seo Dohyeon’s face shift through several expressions before finally falling flat in dismay. Too bothersome to explain? If that was the case, wasn’t that a bad sign?

    “May I ask why this came up?”

    “
Whenever I ask what Go Igyeol is doing, he always says he’s ‘just existing.’ At first I didn’t think much of it, but after hearing it repeatedly, I began wondering if he’s bored and lonely when I’m not around.”

    “That would indeed be concerning.”

    Secretary Yoon grew grave as well. The rest of the drive passed with nothing but sighs traded between them.

    The moment Seo Dohyeon returned home, Go Igyeol came forward with Seo Ihyeon in his arms. He welcomed him warmly, cheeks pink, and all of Seo Dohyeon’s worries vanished at once. He pressed a kiss to little Ihyeon’s head, then briefly held Igyeol’s shoulder before letting go. Heading upstairs, Igyeol handed the child to Kwon Seunggyu and followed.

    As soon as they entered the bedroom, Seo Dohyeon pulled him into a kiss. The urgent kiss made Igyeol step back, but he didn’t push away. Wrapped in his arms, he let Seo Dohyeon savor the warmth of his mouth, soft breath trembling between them. The simple act—stroking his hair, cupping his flushed cheek, feeling him breathe—filled Seo Dohyeon with a profound contentment.

    “Did you have dinner?”

    “No, not yet
”

    “Let’s eat together.”

    “Okay.”

    He had been waiting for that—Seo Dohyeon could tell. He kissed Igyeol again, like stamping a seal, over and over until their lips and chin were damp with shared warmth. It took him a long moment to calm his excitement, bury his nose in Igyeol’s neck, and disengage enough to change clothes.

    While Seo Dohyeon washed up, Igyeol sat on the bed, palms cupped to his heated cheeks—until he caught sight of Seo Dohyeon stepping out, rubbing water from his jaw. Startled, Igyeol dropped his hands. Seo Dohyeon sat beside him and touched his cheek, checking its warmth, then brushed his fingers over his skin again as though charmed by it.

    “What did you do today?”

    He had already asked countless times today, yet hoped for a different answer. Igyeol twisted his fingers together, then mumbled softly, “Just
 being.” Seo Dohyeon’s heart dropped. This just was nothing like Secretary Yoon’s just.

    “
Just?”

    “I played with Ihyeon. Read him a book. And
 I looked through a baby food guide since he’ll start soon. They said you can even make porridge with fruit
 I can’t imagine what that tastes like. Would it be good?”

    “I’m not sure. I don’t remember ever trying it. But that is interesting—fruit porridge.”

    “They say babies like it because it’s sweet. And then
 I had lunch and took a nap. I was going to go for a walk, but I wanted to go with you after dinner
 so I didn’t go.”

    Embarrassment flooded his face, turning him crimson. Seo Dohyeon smiled faintly and stroked his cheek again. The fact he had wanted to go outside at all was remarkable—this was someone who once feared leaving the house.

    “Anything else?”

    He asked, checking for any sign of gloom. Igyeol quietly continued describing his day—the things included in his just, layer by layer. Seo Dohyeon listened with a soft smile, liking the gentle cadence of his voice.

    “I called Auntie
 checked the school website to see when I could apply for reinstatement.”

    “They’re accepting applications now.”

    “
Huh?”

    Eyes widening, Igyeol asked how he knew. Seo Dohyeon brushed his longer hair back and shrugged casually.

    “You have my card.”

    “
Yes.”

    “So apply and pay the tuition. We’ll get whatever you need together.”

    “
Thank you.”

    His face reddened further as he averted his gaze, which only made Seo Dohyeon chase his eyes more insistently. He finally held Igyeol’s face still.

    “I should be the one thanking you.”

    “

”

    “I’m grateful every day.”

    For letting him regret, reflect, atone—and for giving him the chance to stay by his side.

    Igyeol slowly closed his eyes. Seo Dohyeon pressed a tender kiss to his lips and held his hand.

    “Shall we go down?”

    “Yes.”

    They went downstairs, where a warm dinner waited. Ihyeon was already in the nursery. Matching Igyeol’s pace, they ate slowly and then stepped out for a walk together.

    Late at night, their unhurried stroll felt peaceful. Though chilly, the crisp air seemed pleasant to Igyeol; he inhaled deeply again and again, steps lighter than usual.

    “Should we grab coffee before heading back?”

    “
Can we? I thought you might be tired if we stay out too late.”

    “I’m not tired. I like being out here with you.”

    The gentle confession sent a tremor through Igyeol. His heart raced, face warming rapidly, and he turned away—pretending to watch passersby until the heat cooled enough to look forward again.

     

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