Started translating this for fun and now Iâm emotionally bankrupt but too invested to quit every chapter feels like getting punched by god and I keep saying âone moreâ like a liar i hope you’ll love it too
Salvation Through Delusion C102
by berryChapter 102
But you know, donât you?
You know it was a lie.
Why are you doing this?
I wanted to snap back, argue, demand an explanationâanythingâbut I couldnât.
And so the entire ride home became a suffocating journey endured by me alone.
âSince youâre busy, you really donât have toââ
âRue.â
He suddenly cut in, calling my name.
âYou said you wanted something from me, didnât you?â
Yes, I answered, wondering why he was bringing this up now, but his tone was light.
âYouâd like me to do it sooner rather than later, right?â
âOf course.â
I noddedâthen paused when I saw him.
He smiled at the corners of his lips, but there wasnât a hint of amusement in his eyes.
Ah. Damn it. This is coercion.
As in: if you want something from me, behave.
It was not a moment to nod like an idiot.
Maybe my expression gave me away, because he looked satisfied as he tilted his head.
âMy betrothed catches on quickly. Convenient. SoââSince youâre busy, you really donât have toâŠâ and then what?â
I swallowed defeat like a bitter pill and forced my mouth open.
âSince youâre busy⊠I am simply overwhelmed with joy that you would personally escort me, Your Grace.â
âI see. If youâre that pleased, then Iâm pleased as well.â
My face twisted further, but he only smiled more broadly.
Just wait until after the contract is signed. Then Iâm talking back to everythingâeverything.
He says hello? Iâm arguing. He breathes? Iâm complaining. I will become a one-person rebellion.
With dreams of revolution blazing inside me, I looked out the windowâonly for my one second of peace to be destroyed.
âBut your form of address was wrong.â
âWrong? Did you suddenly become a viscount while I wasnât looking?â
ââŠâŠâ
âI was joking.â
âNot funny.â
ââŠWas it not?â
âIt wasnât.â
He fired the final shot.
While I was swallowing another gulp of humiliation, his corrections still werenât done.
âWhen weâre alone, call me by my name.â
âAnd may I drop honorifics as well?â
âYou want to?â
He asked in a voice so sweet it was almost dangerous.
I didnât fall for it. His eyes were those of a predator sizing up prey to see if now was the time to bite.
A test. Obviously.
âI⊠do not. I wouldnât dare.â
Only then did the tension leave his gaze. And he smiled again, bright and refreshed.
âI donât mind, but if my beloved betrothed wishes for it, Iâd be happy to oblige.â
His shamelessness gave me goosebumps, but what bothered me more was a certain word.
âIs there any need for such an adjective? People already assume Iâm the only one hopelessly smitten with Your Grace.â
Drop the âbeloved.â Itâs false advertising, buddy.
I gave him a forced smile that probably showed all my true feelings.
âI canât let you carry that burden alone.â
Right. Of course. No matter how I glared with every ounce of insulted sincerity I had, he only seemed entertained.
Heâs smiling again, see?
I swore againâjust let the contract be written and I will fight him to the death.
âItâs not a burden at all. Please pay it no mind.â
âNo, I must. If the Duke of Koonâs betrothed becomes the target of public scorn, it damages the Koon name. BesidesâŠâ
He stopped speaking and looked at me seriously.
âThose who believe I chose you because youâre the Savior will test you endlessly. I need another reason to protect you.â
âThat reason doesnât have to be love. Claim you need the Adeye familyâs power instead.â
âI wonât borrow.â
âNo, I didnât mean Iâd lend itâItâs not even mine anywayââ
âAdeye gold will not cross my threshold.â
Right. Sure. Dignified to the point of allergy, this man.
Well, fine. Saves Dr. Kim money.
I rolled my eyes back to the windowâonly to snap my head toward him again.
âThe dowry isnât needed either. Just come tomorrow.â
âTomorrow?â
I asked, baffled.
He explained with absolute ease:
âYouâll be moving into the Dukeâs manor.â
âYes, after marriageââ
âFrom the moment youâre engaged.â
What nonsenseâ
Wait. Hold on. Is that actually a Tuvine custom?
With Mo still offline, the only way to check⊠was the maddening man in front of me.
âThatâs⊠probably notâŠ?â
I asked weakly.
He shook his head.
âThatâs the rule in the Koon family.â
Ah. So not Tuvineâjust Koon.
Good. I straightened my back and resisted with confidence.
âAdeye does not follow that. I cannot move tomorrowââ
âYou vowed to obey the rules of the Koon family. Forgotten already?â
Even without looking, I knew I must look absolutely idioticâmouth open, eyes wide, frozen.
My face had to be comical, but I couldnât mask it.
After forcing words out through clenched teeth:
âStill⊠tomorrow is too soon.â
âNo helping it then.â
He accepted it lightlyâopened the carriage slitâand gave a command.
âTurn back. Weâre not returning to Adeye.â
You unbelievableâ!
âN-no! Itâs fine! Tomorrow is plenty soon!â
Rice, beef radish soup, dongchimi, assorted pickles, rolled omelet, namul.
Though plated in Tuvineâs western style, this was the closest thing to a full Korean table this world could offer.
Especially the brown paste sitting atop the namulâa fermented bean product Dr. Kim had hunted down from every corner of Tuvine.
It resembled doenjang enough that she used it frequentÂly in recipes.
Looking at the namul brushed with olive oil, I felt like home was just ten kilometers away.
But I couldnât touch the food.
The meal was set on a small table inside Dr. Kimâs room. She was too unwell to rise from bed.
âThe Lady is very curious to see how much you enjoy these dishes. Could you perhaps⊠show your reaction in front of her?â
The head butler had asked.
But who can eat with a pale, bedridden woman gasping beside them?
âGood job. I knew youâd pull it off. Now eat. Go on. Try itâcough coughâthe gondre namul, and that vinegared saladâcoughâquickly.â
Instead of sitting down, I frowned at her.
âWhy are you collapsing again?â
âThis doesnât even count as collapsing. Ah, the soup is coolingâeat.â
I grudgingly sat and muttered under my breath:
âIf youâre like this, how can I tell you good news?â
âGood news? Tyroc agreed?!â
Oh my god.
I dropped the spoon with a loud clatter.
âHow is that good news?â
âOf course it is! Plan X is complete!â
I shot to my feet in horror.
âIt is not Plan X! This is a contract marriage! More like⊠Plan K! Do not dream too big!â
âContract marriage?â
She lifted herself halfway up, looking bewildered.
Since it was a long story, I slowly ate and explained everything that had happened with Tyroc.
Her eyebrows flew up and down the entire time.
âSo all he wants from you is to faithfully abide by the Koon familyâs rules? Thatâs it? Why?â
âI donât know. Maybe he truly believes Iâm the Savior. Otherwise it makes no sense.â
âNo, there is⊠one other explanation.â
What?
I was sipping my dessert punch when her next words almost made me spit it out.
âHeâs completely fallen for you.â
âDr. Kim, thatâs a classic symptom of victim-gaslighting.â
She bristled immediately, but I clicked my tongue.
âIf someone is head-over-heels, they donât smirk and flip my brain upside down every five minutes.â
At that, Dr. Kimâs fists clenchedâclearly recalling her own traumatic history.
âThat smirking brat. He does it to you too?â
âItâs terrible.â
I remembered my defeat in the carriage and swallowed another surge of indignation.
âI cracked a joke and he just stared at meâstone-facedâsaid it wasnât funny. Do you know how humiliatingââ
âWell⊠your jokes arenât very funnyâŠâ
ââŠâŠâ
âOh donât sulk. What else did he do?â
Already sulking, I could only tattle on.
âHeâs younger than me and still tries to win every argument.â
âThat little punk. Every word out of that bratâs mouth is engineered to irritate people.â
âMy point exactly!â
We both pressed our hands to our foreheads at the same time.
The Tyroc Victimsâ Association met once againâand sighed deeply in unison.
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hahhahahahahhahahahhaha