Started translating this for fun and now Iâm emotionally bankrupt but too invested to quit every chapter feels like getting punched by god and I keep saying âone moreâ like a liar i hope you’ll love it too
Salvation Through Delusion C100
by berryChapter 100
The heavy wooden door, darkened with a shade of black, stood before me. It was as plain as the one in Dr. Kimâs office, and perhaps that was why it reminded me of the moment I first fell into this place and met her.
I hadnât trembled then like thisâdamn it.
I could more or less predict Dr. Kimâs reaction. But Tyrocâs reaction? Absolutely impossible to foreseeâand that alone was making things worse.
HooâŠ
I took in a deep breath, and just then, the door before me moved.
âYour Grace, Adeye Rue has arrived.â
Rick introduced me and stepped aside. Come inâI could feel the unspoken expectation in his gaze, but my feet refused to move.
Rick, still holding the door open, snapped his head toward me. His eyes screamed, Hurry up already. That sharp reproach jolted me awake.
Right. I needed to do this quickly. Before Tyroc grew suspicious and tried to test me.
Without mo, I couldnât even read, much less decipher ancient documents. I couldnât afford to give him any moment to delay the marriage.
The best thing was to secure a definite promiseâsomething like a contract.
That thought appeared out of nowhere and quickly solidified. Yes, a contract.
The word consumed my entire mind. So much that when Tyroc rose from his seat and walked toward me, I barely noticed. I couldnât even look properly at his face.
I didnât see his expression. I didnât catch the look in his eyes.
Thunk.
The sound of the door closing behind me signaled Rickâs departure. The moment I heard it, I bent at the waistâa perfect ninety-degree bow.
âThank you for accepting my proposal.â
My grandmother always said that a proper greeting alone wins you half the battle. Hoping it would work here, I stayed bowed and waited for his answerâbut silence followed.
Slowly, I lifted my head.
A blank expression greeted me. Why did he look so puzzled? Did he not expect me to greet him like this?
Well, that would make sense. Considering Rueâs infamous reputation in the pastâ
My mouth opened automatically.
âI nearly died and came baââ
âNearly died and came back, and your sense vanished with you?â
What? Of all things, I didnât want to be criticized for lacking awareness. I straightened up, offended, and then he smiled.
But his eyes still held faint displeasure.
When it came to something like this, there was only one thing to do: ask directly.
âWhat do you mean, I lack awareness?â
âYou donât know why I accepted your proposal.â
Of course I knewâwasnât it obvious? Annoyed, I raised my chin.
âI do know. You accepted because you believe I am truly the Savior(Salvation). That is why you agreed to a proposal you detest.â
His lips curved further. But it wasnât a smileâmore like something twisted, something faintly bitter.
I ignored it. I had to strike first, before he suspected anything and tested me with ancient documents.
âIs that so?â
âYes. I will do everything to meet your expectations. In return, I need a promise from you as well.â
The smile vanished from his lips.
âA promise⊠So youâre saying thereâs something you want from me.â
He tilted his head slightly, looking at me with a sharp, cold gaze.
âDidnât you say you proposed because you were enamored with me?â
You didnât actually believe that, did youâŠ?
I was about to laugh it off when his eyes sharpened, slicing right through me. I flinched before I could stop myself.
Was it my imagination, or was he actually angry?
But why?
Would his pride really be wounded just because I wasnât actually smitten with him?
Noâthat didnât match him at all. Tyroc wasnât the type to crave affection or popularity.
Then why?
No matter how I thought about it, I couldnât find another reason.
I knew my guess wasnât correct. But I didnât have time to sit and search for the truth.
I had to answer. And the correct answerâthe one that would satisfy him mostâwas obvious:
âYes, I did fall for you.â
If I said that, I could hide my real motives, keeping the marriage on track.
I was already lying about being the True Saviorâwhat was one more lie?
I knew that logically, but emotionally, it stalled in my chest.
To lie about feelings right under those predatory eyesâit felt cheap. Cowardly. Something inside me rebelled.
âIt wasnât true. I lied.â
The moment the words left my mouth, I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut.
âŠFantastic. What the hell was I thinking?
Heâd be insulted. Heâd reject the proposal outright.
Even so, I didnât retract the words. Calling myself the Savior was a lie about factsâbut pretending to love him was a lie about emotions.
For that, I wanted to apologize sincerely.
Hands clasped behind my back, I bowed once more.
âIâm sorry.â
Soâthere went the marriageâ
âVery well.â
âŠWhat?
His tone wasnât angry. When I slowly lifted my head, I didnât see a trace of irritation. Only a gaze far too intense, almost suffocating.
Why did it feel like being hunted?
He stared at me and murmured:
âBut your posture looks like that of a trained soldier reporting to his superior.â
Ah. Without realizing it, I had straightened into a textbook attention stance.
I always apologized in front of superiors:
I failed the mission.
We lost several squad members.
We couldnât reclaim the shelter.
Habits really are terrifying. I relaxed my arms awkwardly and lowered them.
âSorry.â
âBecause you donât like me?â
âNo, because I liedââ
âWhy donât you like me?â
âŠWhy?
The question blindsided me. I blinked, wondering if he was being serious, when he suddenly smirked.
He looked like a completely different person when he smiledâalmost disarming. Enough that I thought, Oh, he didnât mean anything by that.
âMy heart simply doesnât lean that way.â
âI see.â
ââŠYes.â
I muttered like a sinner again, then felt a sudden wave of indignation.
âBesides, you donât like me either. Isnât this better for both of us?â
âMe?â
âYes. Am I wrong?â
He didnât answerâjust kept smiling. Watching me. Staring long enough that the air itself felt taut.
He smiled, yet the tension climbed steadily, wrapping around my throat.
I was just about to ask him point-blank whether we were getting married or not when he spoke first.
âSo then, why did you lie just to marry me?â
Jumping straight to the heart of it⊠I swallowed reflexively.
For him to ask that meant he hadnât dismissed the idea of marriage. If he had, he wouldâve tossed me out immediatelyâhe wasnât the type to hesitate.
âThere is one thing I wish to ask of Your Grace. I hope you will vow it as part of our marital pact.â
I answered and held my breath. He would ask what the request was, and I still didnât know how to frame it.
I couldnât say, Please close the Eye of Hell.
Ideally, Iâd just gesture vaguely at being the Savior and skirt around the details.
But the man standing before me was anything but easy to fool. Iâd need every bit of eloquenceâ
âAll right.â
âYes, so if Your Grace allows me toâwait. Pardon? What do you mean âall rightâ?â
âIâll grant you that one request.â
He didnât even ask what it was.
I barely stopped myself from blurting, Why arenât you asking?
If I asked, he might ask in returnâand that would ruin everything.
Still, I couldnât understand. I couldnât hold back.
âWhy?â
He smiled gently at my obvious suspicion.
But his eyesâstill those of a beast, cruel and sharp.
âYou will make a vow as well. One for one. Thereâs no harm in that. But you must fulfill my condition, too.â
Ah.
So he really had something big planned.
Crapâwhat if it was something like give me all of Adeyeâs assets?
My nerves tightened as I waited for him to speak.
âYou will honor the rules of my household and faithfully uphold our married life. That is my condition.â
âThatâs all?â
âThat is all.â
ââŠ.â
Confusion swept over me.
Why?
Just as unease began fading, new suspicion grew.
But he shattered it with a small, taunting grin.
âScared?â
âNo.â
I answered instantly, forcing a crooked smile.
âOf course not. I fear nothing.â
âThen Iâll take that as your consent.â
It should have been good news. A massive win, reallyâhe didnât even ask what favor I wanted.
So whyâŠ
Why did it feel so unsettling?